Today is one of those days.

[bperan]

I feel fat as fuck.

I weight myself several times today, I've drank 10 glasses of ice cold water and a moutful of corn flakes directly from the box.

I was 48.500 kg when I woke up, 48.800kg after the water and now I'm 49.200 kg after the cereal. I dont know how accurate that is but I feel fat as fuck right now.

I'm sitting down right now, and I have huge rolls in my stomach as if I were a pig. I still have a lot of fat on my belly. My bmi is at 20.7 right now it used to be higher a couple of days ago but I got rid of that weight. I want to see my ribs, my hip bone, my collar bone,I want them to stick out.

My friend's birthday is today and they are going to have dinner. I plan to eat to becuase I'm starving but I'm afraid that I'll get home to throw it all up. I dont want to become bulimic it's one of my biggest fears but I've been so tempted that sometimes I dont care.

I want my friend to like me, but maybe he wont becasue I'm fat and ugly. He's never said he doesnt like me or anything but I'm afraid he'll meet another cuter, skinnier and prettier girl becuase lets face it. I'm not pretty.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH fuck it, i'm fat.

[Syvelocin]

20.7? Hun, that's perfectly healthy! That's not overweight at all. I had to convert the kilograms to pounds, but no hun, you are so not fat. Not close. Your BMI falls in the middle of the "normal" range, not even borderline overweight.


I'm sitting down right now, and I have huge rolls in my stomach as if I were a pig. I still have a lot of fat on my belly. My bmi is at 20.7 right now it used to be higher a couple of days ago but I got rid of that weight. I want to see my ribs, my hip bone, my collar bone,I want them to stick out.


Nooooooo, you do NOT want that. You might want to see the before picture I have in my albums. Well, I don't know if it would help, but I think it's ugly as fuck. Anyway. That picture doesn't even show my hip bones, I'm way too self-conscious of them to let anyone see them. They are the worst, you definitely do not want that. They look painful, though they're not, but they look that way with how they stick out. I'm trying to GAIN weight, I'm supposed to be around your weight to be healthy.

I know how it is to not be able to believe that you are at all attractive, I've been there, and I'm there right now. But you've got to trust me, you ARE pretty! I don't think any of us really realize how beautiful we all are. We have to trust others who see us differently than we see ourselves. We are so critical of ourselves. We seem to find flaws where they don't exist. Sometimes, we just have to let our self-consciousness go, and trust the people around us who love us.