I told my bestfriend + accepting it?

[alley]

So I told someone.
It took alot, to say it out loud. Like I was admitting to something wrong and evil. I was terrified what they were going to say and I remember shaking all over. But it was okay. They were so surpportive.
I chose to tell this person because they have self harmed in the past too, and they would be the most likely one to understand...
They did, they were nice, i'm glad i told them..just feels like i'm not as alone.

But some of the things they said really surprised me.
they told me that it's okay to do it. to almost accept it...
They said they'd learned that. see my bestfriend has been at it about 5 years, compared to my one...
I don't get it. they said it was fine. do it if you have too..more people do it than you think..
i don't understand...this probably sounds sick to you all but my bestfriend seriously meant it...and not in the intent that I was hurting myself.
i mean they said try not to do it, but if you can't help it then do it.
and then i thought.
really thought.
is this crazy? or are they right? everything i've ever read about self harm is negative, but what if it could be positive? as a way to release inward emotions...something we all rely on..yet all hate.
and then i realised i don't hate it.
i hate the scars.
not the pain..or the act.
it helps me more than anything else at the moment.
so why should i quit?
oh, how weird and insane i must sound.
does anyone else see where i'm coming from or have i lost it?..:eek:

[MattVon]

I wouldn't say you have lost it, that's just wrong to suggest you have lost it but I don't really agree with what your friend said either. There are many many other ways for you to release your emotions such as music, that is possibly one of the best alternatives I am aware of. I have known people that self-harmed that did it in areas that they could hide it from other people, and they told me they suffered from all the pain it caused them after they did it because it prevented them from doing simple activities until it faded away (they cut on the back of their legs just on the part where you bend your leg).

You've already said you hate the scars, why continue then when admitting to hating something that is caused my self-harming.

[Syvelocin]

Self-harm isn't wrong. It's a perfectly valid coping mechanism. Notice the word choice though. Valid. Not good. It isn't wrong either, but there are many better things.

It can be better than some things. For instance, self-harm was what was keeping me from not killing myself a couple years ago. Self-harm is obviously better than turning to drugs or alcohol as well, I would prefer you cut to shooting up, really. But it doesn't make it all good. It's destructive. Not just to your skin, but to your present, your future, your family, your friends. It affects you in so many ways, it's not worth it. I agree with her in some parts, but I feel like it's way too casual. If one of my friends confided in me that information, I would be understanding and cool with it, but I'd be worried for them and hope down inside that they'd stop as soon as possible. Especially since she knows what it's like to go through that, as I do myself... I just don't see that mentality as an acceptable way to view self-harm. There are other ways to cope, other ways to let out emotions. Outlets that are more acceptable, or even beneficial outside of being the replacement of self-harm.

[alley]

what both of you have said is kinda what i was thinking too, well as well as,, i guess what my friend said just made me think and reconsider the whole thing. i'm still a little confused however.
personally though, i would have to say the pain and release self harm gives me outways the scars, though i hate too admit it.

[moon_lit_angel]

your not going insane hun...

most people on here i would say have self harmed in some way or another.. you can do other things other then cut..!(not telling you to do it, just saying there is)

and self harm releases emotions we feel we cant release any other way. some people listen to music, some go for a run, others like us self harm..!!

[bleedoutlove]

Don't worry, I know what you mean. I think what makes people want to stop is because it is still bottling up your emotions. The scars won't help the pain go away permanently. Maybe temporarily, but in the long term, it will make it worse.
I interpret what your friend's saying as "do it, if it's going to stop you from doing worse" (ie getting addicted to hard drugs, or even suicide)
But the healthiest thing to do is to communicate your feelings with loving words than through blood.
I hope I helped, drop me a visitor message anytime to talk x