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View Full Version : 2011 canadian elections, a true douchefest


Jean Poutine
April 30th, 2011, 10:22 AM
let's see who we have here...

conservatives
i'm a conservative party member since 2006 but i still think stephen harper is the biggest douche in the history of political douches ever. mr. armed security guards and three questions per appearance can kiss my sweet little french butt. i still agree with most of their platform but harper is such a humongous douche, i don't really want a stuck-up douche representing me in front of the world. therefore as a conservative party member i'm stuck in the unpleasant situation of having to choose whether to vote for my ideals and for a douche at the same time, or vote for a less douchey character and support stupid crap like social democracy.

liberals
ignatieff is like harper junior, less of a douche but he still has a really stiff stick up his butt. i like how he promises to give me money because i'm a college student but i hate that canada currently doesn't have any money to give me, so i wonder where he'll take it from. aside from that, his platform is really unimpressive to me. i liked the liberal red book and jean chrétien days much better.

ndp
can't really say jack layton isn't a really charismatic leader, but that's no big feat since harper and ignatieff are about as charismatic as bags of douche. the new pedophiles as we call them here (npd = nouveau parti démocratique = nouveaux pédophiles) are all about social democracy and social democracy is a really stupid idea (and being a working-class disabled college student, i have the most to get from the system). i hate how layton is ready to suck quebec's giant separatist cock in order to get votes. if layton publicly says that the sherbrooke convention is stupid bullshit then he has my vote, even though social democracy is a great way to bankrupt an indebted country. if jack layton was conservative he'd be unstoppable.

his quebec candidates all suck too, they are mostly all no-names and there's even one who's only three years older than me and just finished her bachelor's degree...? go back to playing pretend UN, national politics isn't shit to fuck around with. it's practically like voting a high schooler to parliament. how am i supposed to be represented by a random anthropology major whose only political conviction is "lol social democracy is gr8 cuz ima student and dey pay my billz"?

bloc québécois
strangely duceppe is made of non-douche material but his political party makes him one. the bloc is old news, nobody in quebec wants separation unless they are a) dumb students or b) disgruntled referendum veterans. unfortunately there is a lot of both here and that is why we squander 70% of our seats on a party that has no chance ever of being the winning side. all they do is bark a lot of crap in parliament, and this is all the bloc will ever do. i fail to see how talking shit about every fucking bill because it "doesn't do enough for quebec" is going to make our life easier inside of canada. oh wait, it won't, and that's why i get flipped off each time i drive to ontario with my quebec licence plate. stupid blocheads.

green party
LOL

i'll just vote rhino party and screw this tardfest.

Death
April 30th, 2011, 12:24 PM
That's politics for you. How often do politicians really do what they say they'll do?

slappy
May 1st, 2011, 12:14 AM
Isn't that almost every election in history?

The Joker
May 2nd, 2011, 11:59 PM
I'd like to say that I totally agree with you in this one. The combined charisma and true leadership skills for Harper and Ignatieff amount to the charisma of the cheeseburger I ate for dinner. I definitely hate seeing unworthy candidates as the only viable options to ever get into parliament.

Jean Poutine
May 3rd, 2011, 07:53 AM
ahahahahahahaha

conservative majority

so we had the choice between a douchebag leader and inexperienced candidates and we took the douchebag leader. inexperience can be fixed, but douchebaggery can't.

i'm somewhat happy for the conservative majority actually. my county is one of the few the tories managed to keep in quebec, so we'll probably have a minister. which means $$$$$$$$$ FOR US.

i'm not going to be happy with harper monitoring my internets and fucking over my privacy. i'm also not going to be happy with usage-based internet billing staying. but i suppose having harper's little stasi on my nuts is better than socilol democracy.

on an amusing sidenote : the county of berthier-maskinongé, a county that is 90% francophone, voted for a barmaid ndp candidate from ontario that doesn't speak a single word of french.

Azunite
May 3rd, 2011, 10:41 AM
Ask me, the elections in Turkey is the worst in the whole world I think. It is like headless chicken running around and begging for vote for free coal in winter.

embers
May 3rd, 2011, 03:39 PM
Ask me, the elections in Turkey is the worst in the whole world I think. It is like headless chicken running around and begging for vote for free coal in winter.

Meh, Pakistan elections went something like this.

Musharaff doesn't want elections -> declares emergency
Realises he's a dick -> emergency over
Elections -> liberal PPP (Pakistan People's Party) make their voices heard
Benazir Bhutto (PPP spokeswoman) gets assassinated.

Yeah, liberalism is evil.