:'(

[Infidelitas]

Im trying to stop the urges. Trying not to cut. Trying not to end everything.

No matter what I do, I feel like people are always telling me to shut up, they dont care whats happening on the other side of the screen. I feel like no matter what I say, i always fuck it up. Say too much. I always feel like rubbish.

I am struggling at the moment, struggling with the urges to end it all. But I know im better than that.

[Kaius]

Cutting and/or potentially doing more than that won't help matters Charlie, it really won't. It may help at first but it'll come back to bite you in the ass before you know it. People on the other side of a screen don't know the impact they have on other people, they probably don't even think about it. Its important that you don't take things they say to heart because you're the only one thats going to get hurt by it. Ignore it as best you can, report it if need be and let someone deal with it. But cutting really won't solve anything, and doing anything worse won't help either, believe me I've been through it first hand. If you need to talk I'm here.

[Fiction]

As Aaron said, cutting doesn't help anything.

At the start it gives release yes, but it just progresses and it gets to the point where you can't survive without it. You can't survive without it but doing it brings guilt, and scars to hide, and so much negative emotion.

Trying to end it won't help either. After something like that, you feel even worse than you did before, and it takes a lot of recovery. It's not worth it. If you're finding it hard to cope, please just ask for help. Landing yourself in hospital will get you help but also so many horrible memories and put you in so many horrible situations. I can not stress enough how much you do not want to get into that.

It sounds like you need someone to talk to, maybe tell your parents how you feel and ask for a councillor?

[Infidelitas]

Tonight has been better, haven't been depressed today, so thats a massive win :D