Abusive past.

[Brittneh]

My psychiatrist says I have my "issues" because of my past abuse, so here it is. When I was five or six, my "best-friend" Silece raped me. Many times. I was too scared to tell until three months ago. Congrats? Around thirteen until well, 2010.. I was with a man named Robbie. He was a heroin addict, and he abused me in many ways. Verbally, which is unfortunately normal.. And he would hit me everyday, and force me to give him pleasure. I was in love with him, so... Heh. He'd cut "fat" into my thighs after I showed him my naked body, and he would whisper into my ear that I was an ugly, fat, bitch, cunt, and whore. Before him, around twelve, I was with a guy named Zach. He'd also hit me. He said it was my fault, and that I deserved it. I agreed after the first time. I loved him a lot. So, there it is. Besides being verbally abused by my entire family, that's all I've endured.

[MattVon]

Really sorry to hear what you've gone through, I'm rather speechless as what to say about this besides don't bother getting into a relationship before you recover from your past. All I can say is, do some things to occupy yourself so your mind doesn't wonder across memories you may vision that are distasteful.

[December]

^^I agree with what he has to say about future relationships, until you feel that you are ready. Have you talked to someone about all of this? I was in an abusive relationship before as well, and I know that the verbal/psychological abuse is harder then I anticipated it would be to get past, so if you're still experiencing that from your family, perhaps you should go to someone with that too. Until then, hang in there :)