sarah newman
April 29th, 2011, 05:38 AM
Someone, help me. Because I have ran out of ideas of what to do to forget that horrible, sick day. 9 months ago it happened. 9 months of feeling dirty, being known as the slag.
It happened in an alley, near my house. I'm so stupid. Why did I decide to meet up with him? I mean.. There's 6 years inbeteen our age! But, he was so nice, he made me feel like I was someone, he understood me.
At 2 o'clock, he came up to me, and took me down an alley. I went along with it. But then he started kissing me, and I saint feel comfortable with it at first, bit then I thought to myself, I can deal with this, as long as nothing else happened.
Oh no, it didn't just stop there. Surely he knew I was shaking when he as doing it. What was going through his sick head at that time, I don't wanna know. He fingered me. Not only once, at 3 occasions. And I hated it. He then whispered dirty words into my ear, and I was to scared to say no. I was 14, and he was 19. Even if I said no, he would of probably stopped me from running. I was 5ft5 and he was 6ft2, he was tall and dry scary.
But luckily I said I had to go, and je let me. Then rant night I told in o net wanna see him again, and he said he will delete my number then.
But it still didn't stop there. How I got a reputation of
Being a slag?? He started telling people that I forced him to finger me. But he has a brother, who is my age, and he told his brother that I started saying stuff about him. I told my friends. And they stayed Out of it. I thought they would of stick u for me. Yeah right!
But then I thought moving on was for the best. Because of course he told me I he wanted me back. I was like no.
I then got some texts that he sent mento prove that I wasn't the
Lyer, and then my friends believed me.
So I moved on, and about 2 weeks ago, the memories came back. I had moved house, right put of the area, no one knew what had actually happened, not even my parents.. Well, they knew rumours went round, but they didn't know what happened. But I went back to meet a couple of my friends, and I saw his brother, so I told my mates that I can't go near him so I will wait for them, but his brother came up to me and said I was sick in the head and that I should stop spreading shit. I was in tears. It then brought back old memories, because I saw him working. I hated it.
But then a could of days later, I finally told one of my new friends, and she was so supportive, I felt I wasn't alone. Someone finally understood.
But I still can't get rid of the flashbacks. I hate it, I have overdosed because of it. I have considered self harming. I did self harm for a couple of years, but then I finally Stopped Because my parents found out. So I decided to stop, I had a couple of slip ups, I cut my legs, and I have considered doing it again, as my parents didn't know I cut there.
Please, someone help me. Am I really alone? I can't believe he abused me the way he did. I didn't believe there were really People out there capable of doing that. Help me, someone, please?
Sorry about the spelling.
please do not double post, use the edit button- Fiction
It happened in an alley, near my house. I'm so stupid. Why did I decide to meet up with him? I mean.. There's 6 years inbeteen our age! But, he was so nice, he made me feel like I was someone, he understood me.
At 2 o'clock, he came up to me, and took me down an alley. I went along with it. But then he started kissing me, and I saint feel comfortable with it at first, bit then I thought to myself, I can deal with this, as long as nothing else happened.
Oh no, it didn't just stop there. Surely he knew I was shaking when he as doing it. What was going through his sick head at that time, I don't wanna know. He fingered me. Not only once, at 3 occasions. And I hated it. He then whispered dirty words into my ear, and I was to scared to say no. I was 14, and he was 19. Even if I said no, he would of probably stopped me from running. I was 5ft5 and he was 6ft2, he was tall and dry scary.
But luckily I said I had to go, and je let me. Then rant night I told in o net wanna see him again, and he said he will delete my number then.
But it still didn't stop there. How I got a reputation of
Being a slag?? He started telling people that I forced him to finger me. But he has a brother, who is my age, and he told his brother that I started saying stuff about him. I told my friends. And they stayed Out of it. I thought they would of stick u for me. Yeah right!
But then I thought moving on was for the best. Because of course he told me I he wanted me back. I was like no.
I then got some texts that he sent mento prove that I wasn't the
Lyer, and then my friends believed me.
So I moved on, and about 2 weeks ago, the memories came back. I had moved house, right put of the area, no one knew what had actually happened, not even my parents.. Well, they knew rumours went round, but they didn't know what happened. But I went back to meet a couple of my friends, and I saw his brother, so I told my mates that I can't go near him so I will wait for them, but his brother came up to me and said I was sick in the head and that I should stop spreading shit. I was in tears. It then brought back old memories, because I saw him working. I hated it.
But then a could of days later, I finally told one of my new friends, and she was so supportive, I felt I wasn't alone. Someone finally understood.
But I still can't get rid of the flashbacks. I hate it, I have overdosed because of it. I have considered self harming. I did self harm for a couple of years, but then I finally Stopped Because my parents found out. So I decided to stop, I had a couple of slip ups, I cut my legs, and I have considered doing it again, as my parents didn't know I cut there.
Please, someone help me. Am I really alone? I can't believe he abused me the way he did. I didn't believe there were really People out there capable of doing that. Help me, someone, please?
Sorry about the spelling.
please do not double post, use the edit button- Fiction