Don't Give Up.

[MadManWithaBox]

This is for all of you guys(or ladies) who want to give up and pick the razor again. Don't. Just don't. I could reel you off a cliche list of why you shouldn't, but ask yourself, is it really worth it? Really? You get a very short period of happiness. Then it fades. And you're standing in your bedroom at 3am holding a bloody razor with your pants half way down your legs, blood all over yourself, and the first thing you almost always think is, shit, I'm an idiot, why did I do that? Then you've got to worry about cleaning yourself up. About hiding the scar. About feeling shit cos you caved again, and you know you didn't need it but you did and now you've another thing to feel shit and pathetic about.

And the worst part is knowing you'll probably do it again the next night.

Think about it, for one second, objectively if you will. How does it help, long term? One day you'll look back on this period of your life, and feel stupid, well most of you. I know it doesn't aways work quite like that for some people with perhaps more severe problems, myself included, but still. One day, most of you will maybe by chance, see your old scars, and say 'God I was a right tool'

So don't give up. Never give up. Keep on going. KBO, as Winston Churchill used to say. The defeated are the ones that accept defeat. You have problems? Its not as simple as that. I know that, I do. But there are, so many better ways to deal with it than this. You know what the best way is?

Talking. Simple and effective. To anyone. A teacher, a mate, a counsellor. Anyone. Cos even if it intially does fuck all, keep talking. You'll get there.

You might ask why I made this topic? I just had a bad night. A very bad night. But I made it through again. That isn't the end of it of course. Chances I'm gonna have my prescription increased, or more likely, readmitted to hospital. But I haven't given up,I'm gonna keep talking, keep praying, and one day I'l be like I said, feeling like a tool for all the stupid things I did.

You want something to not give up? Anything. Just pick it, doesn't matter how stupid it is, or how it sounds, just do it. And hold onto it with all your strength. And if you believe in it enough, it'll help you through.

So yeah, be happier guys. Think about the good in your life. Look for positive stuff. Its all around if you look, no matter how small or insignificant. Look for the things that put the little smiles on your face. And remember I'm here if any of you need to talk.

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

This is so true and great but i can't say i'll stop but i'm working on it and this made me smile
+rep

[MadManWithaBox]

I'm glad you liked it :D

[sarah newman]

I understand where your coming from, and this information has actually given me more confidence not to pick up that razor.
But what if something has happened that's really bad in your life, so bad the only thing you can think of that will make a difference is to harm yourself?

[MadManWithaBox]

I understand that feeling, I really do. If that happens, you need to think about it. Stop and think. Why did it happen? Was it your fault, cos it rarely is. Do you deserve to be punished for something that wasn't your fault? A mistake? No. The pain inside, the mental pain, the thing that constricts your chest so you can hardly breathe, can't be removing by physical pain, by harming yourself. I know that from first hand experience. You need to talk about it. And understand why the pain is there. And how to make it go away.

[sarah newman]

But that's the thing though. How do you make it go away? Because I'm sick of waking up each day, feeling sick inside.

[MadManWithaBox]

Talking. I know I'm saying that a lot, and it sounds redundant. But if you just keep it in your own head, you'll go mad with it, I did. You need to talk about it, no matter how much it hurts. It'll get worse before it gets better. Once its out there, then you can ask, why? How do I get past this? You'll find the way. But you need to know why. It'll hurt s o much, you'll want to be dead, thats me anyway. After that, it'll get better. You can acknowledge what happened, that you don't deserve to be still be paying for a mistake, or something that wasn't your fault.

[sarah newman]

I would love to talk to someone, but there is no one to talk to.

[MadManWithaBox]

You can talk to anybody. A mate, a teacher, school counsellor. People on here, you can talk to me if you like.

[sarah newman]

Tried couciller, didn't help, can't talk to parent, told a friend, I can't put her through it again, and I don't think people on here would really care :/

[MadManWithaBox]

I care, I'l help you. I don't want you feeling shit, thats just miserable, you can talk to me anytime.

[sarah newman]

Thanks.

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

I care to trust me people on here are very understanding and amazing people except from the occasional troll

[REGRET]

I agree with everything you say, especially about the "looking for the positives" thing. It all becomes so much easier if you try to focus on the posative things in your life, even if it's hard.

[IlM'aime_xx]

i like this, yeah it alone might not stop me but its definitely got me thinking, so thanks (:

[MadManWithaBox]

As long as it does that, anything helps, so I'm happy.

[Cynical]

Great post, helping me resist this urge.

[MadManWithaBox]

:> I know all of you are better than this.

[Fiction]

This actually honestly helped motivate me. I'm on day 7 now but i've been having urges, so thank you matt. I'm repping :)

EDIT: Apparently I can't give rep to you again ¬¬