Anyone Else Feel The Same?

[Saosin]

Late October of last year my grandpa passed away. Before he died, he spent months in the hospital. What happened was he originally injured his back, and from then on during his stay at the hospital he progressively got more and more sick. For a while we were expecting his death. We spent the last two weeks in the hospital. Every day after school we went and stayed until 11 or 12. But since he passed, I feel like i've moved on way too soon. He was a huge influence on me and looking back, I seemed to hardly show any emotion. I'm not sure if I just accepted his death throughout the two weeks and that is why, or I was emotionally numb and unattached. But recently while listening to a song before I went to bed, the lyrics really hit me. It made me think about him and how i'd handled the situation and I felt really guilty. Like I should have been affected by it more drastically.

This is the song:

An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Should we still set his plate?
Should we still save his chair?
Should we still buy him gifts?
And if we don't, did we not care?
It makes you think about the life you've led,
Shit you've done, things you've said.
And it's grounding, grounding.
I've been feeling three feet tall this month,
hardly indestructible.
But the snow melts, and the rhythm still goes on.

Around Christmas time, we didn't do anything to commemorate him besides a short prayer before eating. Which seems minimal and as if we didn't appreciate him...

I'll stop now before I make this post too ridiculously long... But anyone else have a similar experience?

[sarah newman]

Sometimes, you grieve at a later stage, if you know what I mean. If you expected his death, and it came then it might of came as a shock to you, but you might not know how to grieve?
It is normal, my grandpa passed away ane he was the closest person to me, even closer to my parents, and i Couldnt show any emotion until months later. I didn't even know I was in shock.
If you wanna talk more, feel free to message me at any time. I am always here.

[slappy]

Buddy, I have gone through this many times. I only have one grand parent left. I know its hard when a grandparent passes away. Everyone deals with it differently. I worked to get it off my mind by working on a farm and playing football. I know what you're going through, my grandfathers 80th birthday just passed and to think he almost made it to that day was sad. To make it worse, a month after he died was his 60th wedding celebration, and my cousins wedding was a week after his funeral so she walked down the isle with my grandmother because both her mother and her father died. Anyway, if you wanna talk about it any time, I'm here for ya.

[Fiction]

My grandad died in September. I was upset at the time but literally all i did was cry when I first found out and cry at the funeral. I made jokes too, yes I do feel guilty but i guess that's my way of dealing with it. I think I blocked out most of it, maybe you did too. That's not your fault.

[Spook]

You shouldn't feel guilty. He would have wanted you to move on, and not slow down your life by lingering on the past. Just know that he is up in Heaven watching down on you, and he knows that you love and care for him, and only wished the best. Don't worry.