Confused??

[sarah newman]

If someone touches you sexually and you don't feel comfortable with it but you don't say no, is that still sexual abuse? I read on a leaflet that it still is, but some people say it isn't, and I just wanna know what your opinion on it is?? Thanks x

[georgiamay]

It depends.

In my opinion, if they are roughly the same age as you, then no, it isn't sexual abuse if you don't say no, or make it clear that it makes you feel uncomfortable and you don't want them to touch you. If you do say no, or say something similar would clearly suggest that you don't want to, then yes, it is sexual abuse.

If you don't say no, but you do try to physically get away, then yes.

If they are significantly older than you, then yes.

No one can really make an informed judgement about this unless we have some more information, for example, what age both people were.
Would you mind giving a little more detail? I understand if you don't want to, but it depends on the situation.

[sarah newman]

I was 14 at the time and he was 19 nearly 20 :/ x

[Pirate]

If you don't want to disclose that's okay, but what sort of 'touching' was it? If you went along with it and kissed him back etc, then I wouldn't say it was abuse as such.. but really, I think it's determined on how YOU feel afterwards.
Remember though, you should never do anything you're not comfortable with. Especially at 14. Always say no. Never let yourself get put into a position that's going to make you feel bad about yourself. You're worth more than that.

[sarah newman]

Well, he was kissing me and putting his hands down my bra, and he fingered me :/ then he started whispering dirty words to me. and I made it obvious I didn't want it to happen as you could tell I was shaking, but he carried on. And then I told him I never wanna see him again via Facebook, and he spread round that I forced him, and he told his brother (who is my age) that nothing happened and that I started spreading stuff :/ so I got a reputation of being a slag when o ne'er wanted anything to happen on the first place :/

[Charleigh]

Well, he was kissing me and putting his hands down my bra, and he fingered me :/ then he started whispering dirty words to me. and I made it obvious I didn't want it to happen as you could tell I was shaking, but he carried on. And then I told him I never wanna see him again via Facebook, and he spread round that I forced him, and he told his brother (who is my age) that nothing happened and that I started spreading stuff :/ so I got a reputation of being a slag when o ne'er wanted anything to happen on the first place :/

At the time, if you were hinting you sort of wanted him to carry on, but inside you hated it and you didnt want it, then thats not really sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is when you dont fully concent anything, if you were laying there and letting him do those things to you, then you were physically letting him. So in a way you did concent him to do those things to you, you may not of felt comfortable with him doing those things, but you still didnt say no hun.

As for his age, that is sexual abuse on his part, but if you consented it, as I might of said, it isnt really sexual abuse.

As for the things that have been spread round, tell someone about it, dont let that get to you hun.
Im here if you ever need to talk about anything
:hug:

[sarah newman]

I have made another post of what went on fully- Memories.. Flashbacks... Help? - if you can put your views on that x

[Charleigh]

I have made another post of what went on fully- Memories.. Flashbacks... Help? - if you can put your views on that x

Sure.

[sarah newman]

Cheers.

[Charleigh]

Cheers.

I would pretty much say what I said to this thread. Its about the same thing.

[sarah newman]

Okay, that thread gave you more of a background to what happened. But thanks.