Paranoia attacks

[SometimesThere]

I can't stop myself from having these paranoia attacks.

First, I feel uncomfortable as I'm on-edge, then fear sets in. I can't stop thinking depressing thoughts, and feeling as if someone is watching/following me. The worse happens when I begin to see or hear things. I see shadows flying over and moving around me. Someone begins to sing this creepy song that I can sometimes hear very loudly, then only as if the song is a distance away.

But I feel as I can bear with these things. They may scare me, but I don't think they can hurt me physically.

The depression is what kills me. It eats and eats into me. It tells me horrible things that I don't want to go into.

These attacks come and go - some last hours, others days. I'm OK now, but I feel as if another paranoia attack is coming. I've been trying to fight them since I was a child, but I can't stop them. And now, I don't know what to do.

[Nevermore]

Okay first of off (breathe). Listen to calm music. My psycologist used to tell me to describe objects in my head like the fan, and pour cold water on my. I know exactly what your going through, because I see those shadow creature things too when I get really anxious. Tell yourself your okay your safe. They show up, they aren't real ignore them. Call a friend, go on with your daily activities. Talk to me anytime, don't be a stranger.

[SometimesThere]

Okay first of off (breathe). Listen to calm music. My psycologist used to tell me to describe objects in my head like the fan, and pour cold water on my. I know exactly what your going through, because I see those shadow creature things too when I get really anxious. Tell yourself your okay your safe. They show up, they aren't real ignore them. Call a friend, go on with your daily activities. Talk to me anytime, don't be a stranger.

Thanks for your reply :) .

Yesterday was hard, but I managed to get through. It's hard, though, to tell myself what I'm seeing/hearing isn't real when they appear so real. But that's all I can do.

[MadManWithaBox]

That sounds kinda serious. Have you talked to someone about this?

[SometimesThere]

That sounds kinda serious. Have you talked to someone about this?

To be honest, I only spoke to my family recently about it.

The first time it happened I was fairly young (maybe 10 or less), but I wasn't experiencing the 'seeing things' part at that time so I kept my mouth shut about it. It was only in the last two years that I began to hear/see things that weren't there. They began mildly enough and weren't that frequent. In the last few months or so it just became steadily worse, so I eventually told my sister, who told my parents.

I'm now waiting to see a psychiatrist, but that's another while yet, so there is nothing to help me.

Though I still haven't told my parents about the depression part. I know I should, but I really don't want to.

[Syvelocin]

I get the exact same thing. I mean, right to every adjective. I see different things (this really creepy girl I've seen since I was younger, she won't leave me alone. If I close my eyes or turn my back to her, she will get closer, trying to kill me, and if I leave the room she just follows) but how you describe it and how it comes on, just the same. I always just start feeling a bit paranoid, looking behind me all the time, then I start freaking out and hearing things, seeing shadows. Then I start the full-on hallucinations. I only usually have issues during the night though, but I've had some during the day as well.

I have days where I'm up, because I'm afraid to go to sleep because that's when she'll get me.

But when I'm not in those episodes, I know it's not real. I just can't convince myself of that at the time.

I get unrelated paranoia attacks as well. For example, I freak out in planes, convince myself that we're going to crash into another plane or something. I have similar things when I'm on bridges, in water, facing heights, or even just something random like eating Thai food or looking up at the stars.

Really, it's just a matter of taking your mind off of it. What helped me last time, I got off the computer (something about being exposed to a computer for long periods of time makes me feel more dissociative and even paranoid) and listened to some of my favourite music on my iPod while playing some Solitaire. I calmed down a bit, and she left. I also normally do better when all the lights are on, and there's white noise/ambience/telly on quietly in the room. Just anything grounding. Pay attention to what it is though. Some suggestions I've gotten on VT have made it worse, like taking a bath or taking a walk (just make me more paranoid, as she follows me like I said, and a dark street is not a better place to see her, and aren't showers always the signature setting for a scare in a horror movie? Doesn't help much...)

You might also want to get a friend or just a buddy on VT, and message them when you're having trouble, so they can help calm you down or just keep you grounded. I've never done that with the hallucinations, because I don't know any fellow insomniacs up at that hour, but I've done that with other psych-related issues and it tends to help immensely.

Hope you feel better. I know what it's like, obviously :P It's definitely not fun.

[SometimesThere]

Syvelocin: Thanks for the reply. Reading through it reassured me that I'm not the only person experiencing this thing.

The person that I see when I'm hallucinating isn't human at all. It may have the general shape of a human, but I know that it's a monster. Like the girl you see, it follows me and watches relentlessly. The night time is the worst, because that's when that monster is strongest. I can see it move around my room and it drives me crazy.

I've tried taking my mind off it (listening to my ipod being the best way to do this), but it's hard because the TV is what triggers my paranoia off (well... one of the things that triggers my paranoia) and since TV is almost everywhere, it can be hard to ignore.But I'm going to take your advice and try to go out looking for the things that comfort me when I'm feeling paranoid.

Thanks again for the advice :) .