I've Never Felt So Torn

[HikaruTheHunter]

For some reason I always seem to mess it up. A while ago I did some experimenting with my best friend then some things happened that made us stop talking for a while. I had to go to counseling for three months or so because I was suicidal...it was because I lost my best friend. After all of that, I felt a lot better but now I had no best friends barely that would accept me for being bisexual. Finally, one came along that understood what was going on with me and he has helped me get some things out that I would never tell anyone. But now it seems I'm almost falling for him...yeah I know it's stupid but it's not a sexual attraction it's more of a glad you are my friend and maybe something more feeling. But I can't tell him because I'm afraid if losing him and I just want things to stop. For a while, I haven't felt suicidal and now it's almost coming back...I have (I think it's called this) BMD and it doesn't help in this situation. Can anyone please give me advice...?


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[Fruit_Tart.]

Do you know if he's bi/gay as well?
I think that you just need to keep this a secret for a while until he gets used to you and really becomes a close friend you can really trust. You don't want to push things too fast and end up getting hurt.
If you start feeling suicidal again just think about what great times you COULD have with this guy and what kinda friends you'll have when more people start accepting you. You may not think this, but it's probably true that lots of people love you and think about them and how much they'll be missing and thinking about you.
Counseling helps somewhat and just talking to someone, even on vteen helps a lot. We're here for you and there will be always someone that loves you, no matter if you think so or not. I'm here to talk if you like, and I hope you gain strength to do what you need to. :)

[HikaruTheHunter]

Do you know if he's bi/gay as well?
I think that you just need to keep this a secret for a while until he gets used to you and really becomes a close friend you can really trust. You don't want to push things too fast and end up getting hurt.
If you start feeling suicidal again just think about what great times you COULD have with this guy and what kinda friends you'll have when more people start accepting you. You may not think this, but it's probably true that lots of people love you and think about them and how much they'll be missing and thinking about you.
Counseling helps somewhat and just talking to someone, even on vteen helps a lot. We're here for you and there will be always someone that loves you, no matter if you think so or not. I'm here to talk if you like, and I hope you gain strength to do what you need to. :)

He said that he used to be Bi which I don't understand but I trust him enough to tell him that I am and he accepts me and all. It's just I'm afraid to lose him ya know? It's scary thinking I'm gonna lose another friend. Thanks for the advice though it really helps.