Worse every day..

[CantLiveWithoutYou]

I doubt anyone that reads this saw my other threads a few months back. But anyway in January my ONLY friend moved. I'm bi, and yes I do love him. We don't talk a lot anymore.. Maybe twice a month. I really hate to start conversations with him more often than that because I know I'm annoying him if I do. He is a really great friend when we're physically together. Did I mention he has no idea I love him and I'm sure he's straight so there's no fucking way in hell anything you say can make me tell him I love him? Anyway, when we get physically separated we kinda drift apart slowly. We seemed almost as far apart as possible metaphorically until like last week I talked to him for a long time about random crap and he seems still interested in being friends.

On to the other people I know. They ALL hate me. Honestly it's not me, it's the school, I've gone to one other school for like half a year and the kids there liked me. But my parents won't let me switch schools so I try to make friends here. Everyone just hates me for existing. I don't know some people and they hate me. So that one kid I love is really my only friend. He's perfect for me too so I think if I can stay friends with him that'll keep me from actually killing myself, but it certainly won't keep me from getting so high I go into a different universe for 12 hours to escape from my shitty life. My school's authority figures also single me out for no fucking reason. I'll be sitting at a table with one other kid that no one likes, including me... And someone on the other side of the cafeteria will throw something at another kid at their table and they'll come scream at me thinking I did it, when I have no history of doing anything like that.

My ONLY escape from total fucking shit is when I'm riding a horse but my parents won't pay for even leasing one so I can go ride whenever I feel bad. So that's pretty much out the window I go to this one place and ride for free like once a month at best. And I'm depressed pretty much 24/7 lately so 2 hours out of 730(a month) isn't really much...


Seriously.. 30 views and not one reply? There's threads on here with 15 views and 10 replies..

now 40 views. love you too, VT

[asdfgh12]

I can't really relate to this post much, but I feel for you with your massive amount of replies xD

Can you not turn to other ways of making friends, like going into town, or social networking sites like Dailybooth that focus on meeting strangers? My group of friends mostly don't even go to my college.

But I could totally relate to you if I was still in year 11. I was bullied and didn't even have one friend like you did. If you wanna talk you can add me on skype (: - flaterick94

[CantLiveWithoutYou]

Well online people don't really help at all. It's like talking to a robot if you can't physically talk to them. My mom doesn't let me have any life and I'm actually 14 I don't know why it says I'm 15, I can't drive anywhere either way. Thanks for replying btw. I just don't really know what to do. It's really 90% my parents' fault in the end.

[Nihilus]

Hang on dude, life will get better. Don't do something you may regret in the future. People may dislike you at your school, but in 3 years you can get out. Depending where you live, try and join some out of school activities like sports. Try and get a job at the horse place. I hope life gets better and although it seems everyone hates you, it's not true. Keep moving forward.

[Zajuzu]

I have a good friend. He and I always met on friday after school, just to talk to each other. He is straight, I'm gay and I was absolutely in love with him :)
He is the cutest guy you can imagine!

a few months ago I moved to another city 220km away from him and now we talk only once a month. He is still a good friend, but we don't see each other anymore...But just knowing he exists makes me feel good :)

I can relate to that part of your story and I know how it feels when you love a good friend..and he doesn't feel the same way.

What make you think you are annoying him when you try to talk to him? :)

What makes you think all the other people you know hate you?

I once had the same thoughts about the world around me, everybody hated me...And when my mother died...A lot of people didn't even care, but a lot of people who I had known for ages, but didn't see as a friend supported me!
Yes there will be some people who don't like you...But I'm sure there are people who actually like you!

Look, you're 14...It's a very difficult age!
You don't really have a goal in life, you don't even know WHY you're alive and it seems like the whole world, incl. your parents turns against you.
I went trough it; both my parents are dead, I got bullied for 12 years...But most of those bullies are now unemployed and I am the CEO of my own company.
They thought they knew everything and thought the equator runs through their ass...

You are the one and only manager of your life; Not your parents, not those people screaming at you, not those people who single you out; YOU are!
And you're still very young, but you will get a lot of chances in our life!
At the moment life feels like a struggle, sometimes it even feels like a punishment, but I tell you this: LIFE GETS BETTER!
And once it gets better; IT WILL BE GREAT!

Sure, there will be some things that will not go the way you want them to go...But NEVER give up!

Deal??

[CantLiveWithoutYou]

What make you think you are annoying him when you try to talk to him? :)

What makes you think all the other people you know hate you?



He is easily annoyed and I annoyed him just by talking to him a lot last year. To the point of him ignoring me until the end of the year, then this year we became friends again...

I explained already why people I don't know hate me-they just do, there's no specific reason, they all make fun of me, punch me, and never get in trouble for it, yet if I say fuck off quietly I get suspended for a week.

[Voodoo]

Hey, I know how you feel. It used to happen to me. I have few friends but the ones I do have are close ones. A lot of my other un-close ones are from surounding towns, funny how I'll go into the next town and everyone likes me, yet no-one does in my own town.