My girl friend always makes me pay and I hate it...

[swindy43]

My brother's story:

I need a solution to this problem I'm having with my girl friend right now, thanks in advance for any suggestions. So I just recently started a relationship, we been together for just 2-3 weeks. We hung out 3 times in which I payed everytime. I drive to her, pay for gas, pay for dinner, movies, and anything that we do. I end up spending at least to $80 everytime we chill. She makes more money than me, she has 2 jobs where as me...I'm a student and only have a small part time job. She has never offered to pay for anything. When we goto the movies she just stands there when she orders the tickets, I don't want to be like "hey can you pay for youself?" so I just pay and don't say anything.Even worse, yesterday she bought this watch and asked me to pay for it.
http://giftmadesimple.com/product/Cubic%20Zirconia%20Sterling%20Silver%20Watch%20DiamonUltra%20and%20Trade/76608/?rid=27705995
A little rediculous for sure. You know, that's a big deal to me. The first time is fine but now it's like routine for her to do this. What should I tell her, and how should i tell her about this problem? I don't want to sound poor and be like "my money is tight want to go half half next time". It'll be weird.

[Random3r]

errm im not sure about this but are you paying her just to be with her?? what you should say is something like im sorry hun but i dont have enough to go to the pictures or whatever she wants to do and just see what reaction you get! you dont want to be with someone that wants you just for your money!

[Bimmerhead]

Agreed! We all have our budgetary restrictions, If I were you I would ask if you guys could go dutch next time because you just cant afford it anymore.

[Quick_Sylver]

Questions for Boys and Girls :arrow: Relationships and Dating

You'll find more answers of relevance here. :)

[theoburray]

I think eventually once the 'dating' part is done and you have an established relationship there should be more of an equality in terms of paying. It seems rude for her to get you a 'gift' and expect you to pay for it. I would be pissed off too to be honest especially considering she makes a lot more than you, bascially that'd mean that after you spend time with her you have no money for your own enjoyment while she is getting the best out of both worlds. You might want to bring this out in the open now and say it's a problem, you don't want to drag this on into a routine and then figure out that this is a dealbreaker for her 5 months down the track (although it would be a ridicilous way to break up a relationship purely on money)

[randy.boii]

Talk to her and tell her how you feel

[JohnHoper]

Just tell her... you don't wanna go broke as a student. Set limits and tell her as a partner in a relationship, she can help out to. Good luck :)

[Azunite]

Don't tell her, whatever happens it is a man's duty to bow a girl's shopping madness.

[JohnHoper]

Don't tell her, whatever happens it is a man's duty to bow a girl's shopping madness.

What? since when :D

[anonymous53]

My brother's story:

I need a solution to this problem I'm having with my girl friend right now, thanks in advance for any suggestions. So I just recently started a relationship, we been together for just 2-3 weeks. We hung out 3 times in which I payed everytime. I drive to her, pay for gas, pay for dinner, movies, and anything that we do. I end up spending at least to $80 everytime we chill. She makes more money than me, she has 2 jobs where as me...I'm a student and only have a small part time job. She has never offered to pay for anything. When we goto the movies she just stands there when she orders the tickets, I don't want to be like "hey can you pay for youself?" so I just pay and don't say anything.Even worse, yesterday she bought this watch and asked me to pay for it.
http://giftmadesimple.com/product/Cubic%20Zirconia%20Sterling%20Silver%20Watch%20DiamonUltra%20and%20Trade/76608/?rid=27705995
A little rediculous for sure. You know, that's a big deal to me. The first time is fine but now it's like routine for her to do this. What should I tell her, and how should i tell her about this problem? I don't want to sound poor and be like "my money is tight want to go half half next time". It'll be weird.

It's your duty to pay for dates, but as for her buying something for you like a gift then asking you to pay for it is a little messed up. Maybe suggest a stay in night, or a picnic for your next date to keep it cheap.

[Fushigi]

you know one of the rules when it comes to a relationship is being open to each other where you can express all u want to say... you two should discuss what ur capabilities and not... in that case you two can understand/help each other when it comes to date expenses and others ... and being open to each other will make you close to ur gf/bf .. because you can say what ever you want to say without a doubt... and we are now in the 21st century... most of the people are sharing when it comes to date expenses though we all know its ur duty to pay for it... :)

[Jennifer's Ashes]

"oh shit, shes a gold digger! just though you should know"

^this.
that sounds really shallow. personally, the way i see it, it seems like if shes making you pay all the time she doesnt seem very considerate and do you really want tqo be with someone like that?
good luck!

[Horse_girl]

My opinion as a girl:

I agree that you should talk to her about it. The watch thing especially strikes me as strange. She should know that you don't have a job and as a student, money would be tight. If you wanted to get her the watch, then I wouldn't see anything wrong with it. But for her to bring you the watch and ask you to pay for it says that she could be using you for your money.

This is the 21st century. There is nothing wrong with the girl paying her own way if that's what a couple decides. Maybe say "Hey, money's a little tight, can we go dutch this time?" and see how she reacts.

[CutieChick]

Suggest going somewhere free, such as the park or chill at your house. If she really likes you, then she will be happy just to be with you.

[Crocbait230]

Agreed Girls shouldn't have to pay for dates
but everyday expenses are our own problem
just say no she will understand *SHES USING YOU* every girl tries it
if she doesn't understand shes an idiot

[Grayeyes]

I'm a girl and i prefer if the guy pays for dinner. BUT, besides that, its a no no. Girls should be able to pay for their own shopping needs.
No offense to her man, but she sounds like a gold digger.

The next time she asks you to pay for her shopping, tell her straight in the face that you're not paying for it. You're not comfortable paying for everything all the time.

If she leaves you then let her go. She soooo NOT worth it.

[NobodysCupOf Tea]

In my opinion, THATS BANG OUT OF ORDER. Sorry but it is.

Im sorry but i really disagree. Theres being a gentleman, and paying for a lot of it, or atleast to offer. But really theres no need to pay for EVERYTHING, especially that re-donk-ulously expensive watch!

Really, both parties should offer to pay. Each should pay for some outings, you could split the bill, but you need to nip it in the bud.

If you like this girl then you need to sort it out ASAP so she dosnt think that you're just as cash point.

I know it could be hard or awkward to address it, but its only fair :)

[macbox84]

Sry but u r kinda supposed to ur the guy sry