Um.. kinda worried about myself.

[Owls]

I havent done anything in a long time, about 5 months(it feels like a long time to me) I promised my friend i would stop. Yesterday, that same friend got on facebook and asked the guy i liked if he likes me, and he dosent, and to top it off, he just got a girlfriend. a few hours ago i was thinking about him and blacked out in my room and when i came back (?) i had a bunch of cuts on my wrist and one on my face, and i wasnt sad or angry or anything. When i think of him now all i can feel is like an emptiness. Not anger, pain, loss, or anything i was feeling before.plus i have a really strong urge to hurt myself more, which i havent had since i met him. I realy cant stand it.

Edit: Also, hes not the only reason, so dont think im just a whiny kid emotional over a guy. in the last two years one of my friends died in a car crash because she was driving drunk, my family is screwing up, were in a bad spot financially, plus my dad has been verbally abusing me since i was 3, so yeah.

[bambino]

its obviously not just this guy but a culmination of things thats made you react that way ): and I'm really sorry you feel so bad.

5 months is amazing!!! you should be really proud and proves you do have the strength to abstain from cutting.
The emptiness is probably the worst feeling in my opinion, because although it lets you escape from all the bad feelings, its so paralysing.

So this guy, I know how you feel, but he's not worth hurting yourself over. And I know its not just because of him, but you shouldnt even let that contribute to you feeling bad. Because as a self harmer [don't know if youre the same] I'm generally really sensitive and I take the slightest thing as a rejection, and in the end its just terrible for your mental health.
Did this guy really even know you as a person? He probably didn't get a chance to see how great you are. Plus not everyones compatible, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not everyone see what someone else might see. We're all different but I can promise you there is a guy out there who would think you are perfect (:

[JohnHoper]

From the bottom of my heart and soul, I can tell, from that five months, you are strong. That strength is what will keep you going. Even you know hurting yourself wont bring good times, and only fear to those that love you whether you know it or not. Just this year, two of my friends died, but their deaths only proved to me how important life really is and how it just goes on no matter what. So I just make the best out of it and that's what I do
My situation is not as good as anyone else but that smile on my face and that will to go on, I know brings happiness to the next person... ours lives were filled with choices sine we were born, so what's yours?