They're making me go back

[Kaius]

Ever since my overdose and suicide attempt in January I've been made to see a psychiatric counselor weekly. I've had a bad week, bad urges to cut.. some urges to do more than that. Today he told me theres a large chance they may forcibly admit me back to the psych ward for an unknown amount of time if I cannot find a way to stabilize myself by the next time I see him. "Its a prevention not a treatment". The look of disappointment in my parents eyes hurt. I don't know what to do. Anyone of you here will know you can't just snap yourself out of feeling like this but I refuse to willingly go back there, its one of the worst fears I have. I can't go back, I really can't. But i don't know what to do.

[Fiction]

I wish I could help you...

I'm always here for you Aaron. I mean that. Always. I guess there's nothing you can do except see what happens, but whatever it is you have me. I promise.

I love you.

[MadManWithaBox]

Aaron, you and I both know, if they decide they want you in there, you'll be going back. And you'll know non co-operation doesn't help. Maybe... its the best placed for you? I know those places suck, I really do. But maybe? I'm sorry, I don't know.

[Nevermore]

Aaron, you have my heart right now. I was in a similar possession like you yesterday. Fight for yourself, you don't want inpatient, try your hardest to convince them. If you think you need it, tell them. Just be honest, it's the best policy. Try and breathe for now. Nothing is permanent remember. It's what someone told me that helped. If you are institutionalized, it won't be permanent. Try to make it the best experience possible. I know easier said then done, and I know in the end my words of comfort are meaningless, because when people were saying similar things to me, I was like you have no idea what mentally I'm going through! It's hard. I know it is. And I wish I could give you a hug right now, because I know you need it. But you know what? Whatever happens, is going to happen, and VT and I will always be with you and we will get you through this. We are your supporters cheering you on. We won't leave you. I know how much the situation you are in sucks. I'm really sorry your going through that. I really am, and I wish I could do something about it. If you need anyone to vent to I am here for you.

[Sith Lord 13]

Aaron, I'm going to give you a piece of advice that's served me really well:

Fake it till you make it.

Go in, tell your therapist you're doing better. Your urges are getting weaker. All that fun shit. Make it reasonable, but very optimistic. Every time you meet with them, just keep saying it. Eventually, it'll start being true.

[Spook]

You're 18...don't you have a choice whether to go back? I don't think they can make you... but think about that they may be trying to help you, even though it doesn't seem like it. :/

[MadManWithaBox]

They can force him if they say he's a danger to himself or others.

[Kaius]

Thank you for the replies guys. I'm not honestly sure what im going to do yet, but I have been told it'd be better for me to just voluntarily go without a fuss if they decide they want to admit me. If im given the choice I'm going to lie right through my teeth, if i can avoid it then i will. The idea of having to go back has scared the crap out of me.

[randy.boii]

I know every feeling you have. Why not turn this urge to cut and lash out into love. Love something or someone so much that you don't want to think about doing anything bad to yourself. God made us all beautiful in our own wys and you only get one body. If u can love someone or something more then the urge you can over come it

[MadManWithaBox]

Thank you for the replies guys. I'm not honestly sure what im going to do yet, but I have been told it'd be better for me to just voluntarily go without a fuss if they decide they want to admit me. If im given the choice I'm going to lie right through my teeth, if i can avoid it then i will. The idea of having to go back has scared the crap out of me.

Are you sure that'd be best for you?

[kai99]

Aaron, I'm going to give you a piece of advice that's served me really well:

Fake it till you make it.

Go in, tell your therapist you're doing better. Your urges are getting weaker. All that fun shit. Make it reasonable, but very optimistic. Every time you meet with them, just keep saying it. Eventually, it'll start being true.

Work for it !

[Kaius]

Are you sure that'd be best for you?

I feel thats the best option there is really, I think going in there would make everything worse in my head.

[MadManWithaBox]

I feel thats the best option there is really, I think going in there would make everything worse in my head.

Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't. But you'll know already that if a doctor thinks your lying, or making stuff, they'll put you in there anyway, and won't believe you in the future over something that maybe true. Maybe now you're a bit older, if you go in, different perspective, different experience? Are you sure it isn't worth trying?

[tpzy94]

just have faith and pray bout your situation...thats all you can do

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

if you think being an inpatient would be bad for you make that known try to work out a pro gramme that will work for you
don't resist and behave like an adult and they may not force you to go

[Spook]

It makes me so pissed...people in the law, in hospitals, it's like they contol you.

Best thing I can say is pull yourself together and be totally calm, and they may change their mind, even though I would be screaming my head off about human rights to them. :P

Good luck, Aaron.

[Kaius]

I've pretty much decided I'm probably going to volunteer to be admitted when I see him next whether im given the choice or not, judging by the last 24 hours I can see what they meant by needing prevention before anything worse happens.

[MadManWithaBox]

You see Aaron? Sometimes what we want is always what we need (cliche as that sounds)