Emptyness.. :(

[Infidelitas]

I feel so empty.
Im fine around others, I always put on a happy face.
I feel the most empty when I am by myself, alone with my thoughts.
The words "I am worthless" rumble around my mind.
I feel like self harming, but I know cutting brings no good.
I feel the worst at night, fine in the mornings, feeling bad at night.
Anxious about my school work, knowing I am doing bad. Iam doing bad because of this anxiety.

I am sorry to bother you guys with my thoughts. I know there are worse off people than me. I am sorry for bitching when others are doing it rough.

[Nevermore]

Charlie I completely understand what you are talking about. You must remember you are NOT worthless. I know it's easier said then done, but you aren't. Try reminding yourself that. Fight the thoughts in your mind. They say your worthless? Tell the thoughts to go away and say I'm not worthless! You're right self harming does no good in the end. It's good that you recognize that. Try and resist! One more day, one more day! Keep pushing the days, you CAN do it. :) I tend to feel awful at night too. I think it's because I'm alone, and I'm not busy so I can think. Try to distract yourself, read a book at night or something. Take a breather. If you are doing bad, you can bring it up. Breathe, then start again. Not motivated? Try and push yourself, I need to do this. Set yourself time limits and goals. I will do an hour of homework tonight from 5-6. Try getting involved in an activity of some sort. It will keep your spirits up, and you can make friends. Call a friend when you feel this way. No friends? No problem VT is here as your friend and so am I. You sir are NOT alone. You are loved, and amazing, you know what? Yes, some people are a bit worse off, but you know what? People handle everything differently, do not minimilize your problems, they are just as important as everyone elses. You can get through this. <3 Message me anytime. :)

[MattVon]

You cannot be empty, you are full of memories in your life that you can cherish upon; especially family memories.
The happy face doesn't need to be faked, you can genuinely have fun if you don't think about negative things so hard.
If you want time to think, think positive. If you don't want to think at all, occupy yourself, if you do not know how then listen to music. To me, and many other people in this world, they comfort themselves with music.
Worthless... Hm. Tricky to twist this one. How about, you are worthless at making scribbles on paper? I don't know, I can't twist that in a positive meaningful manner. Just know you're not worthless, okay.
I can applaud you on your thought process of self harming and I am glad you do not resort to it, so this proves you are aware of what it does and are reluctant to do it, which is good.
I can only assume you feel worse at night because you're alone, this is the time to occupy yourself and do something. Whether it's listening to music, to watching the TV. I'd recommend comedy shows to watch, I gotta say they seriously do put a smile on my face and make me laugh even when I feel down, you should try it out, just gotta find your favourite comedian.
Everyone feels differently about their work, all I can say is slap on a DGAF mood about it. If you feel like you can't do it, or you're struggling then research on it. You have a computer, so it's possible. It may not be the most entertaining work, but you'll be able to do it easier if you let your brain process what you research and such.

And finally, there's no need to apologise for your post. I think it's good that you know that other people are worse off, but as a person recently said to me which I need to incorporate into what I say now. "Once you're in the thought process of feeling worthless, you're just there."

No one one is going to be made at your for bitching about your life, or such. We're just here to lift you up and help you out.

[JaiBrazier]

I am pretty much the same, sometimes I think to myself "am I worth being alive...doe's anyone care?"
When i'm alone nothing good runs through my mind, it is alway extremely bad stuff. I have self harmed before and I can't deny that and your right it brings no good.
Every day and every night bad thought run through my head, I look on Facebook seeing all my friends happy and when reading things I just feel alone. Like i'm the only person who's depressed and has bad thoughts.

What I did to help was speak to others with the same or similar problem .. it made me realise that I wasn't alone and that in fact there is a lot about my life that is happy. When i'm down I just speak to my close friends. I explain, they listen and try to help and honestly talking and letting things out has stopped me from doing a lot of things I would've regretted. What I've also done quite a lot is doodle in a scrap book and put my emotions onto paper. When i've done with writing/doodling, I rip them out and throw them away ... kinda like i'm throwing my bad thoughts and emotions away and trust me it's helped me a lot.

One final note: Speak to people with the same problem, they can offer you tonnes of advice and help you. Maybe buy a note pad or book and scribble down a few things on your mind? :)

[Fiction]

I think everyone feels like this from time to time, and it really does get you down. You just have to find a way to cope with this, and cutting really is not the way. You only have to look in the cutting and self harm forum here to know how much of a mess it has made of so many people's lives. It doesn't make things better. At the start maybe, in the short term. When it's just a few shallow scratches, easily hidden and healed in a few days. But it very rapidly becomes much more than that. It turns into something you can't live without, and your cuts aren't scratches anymore, they bleed, they scar and there's hundreds of them. You can't wear short sleeves anymore and you won't be the same person again.

Sorry for the highly emotional post there >< just in one of those moods... Hope it persuaded you against it anyway.

[Infidelitas]

I look at myself, and I realise nobody knows my personality well. not even mum or dad

[Syvelocin]

Same goes for me. You'll probably find, that this isn't so strange. Not many people know me well, because I put on a mask often so I don't get hurt, or so people don't see the real me. My parents know me well, but they definitely haven't seen every side of me. Like you said before, you put on a happy face, but that's not you, is it? If that is what you're showing to the world, that's all that the world will know.

[Infidelitas]

Its strange. Im mostly fine during the day (unless someones pissed me off), but then at around 7 pm, i start feeling incredibly bad

[FullyAlive]

I feel like this too. I have a different act for every set of people in my life. Then I feel "empty" like you described when I'm alone without any act. Just me, but with nothing left.

Its strange. Im mostly fine during the day (unless someones pissed me off), but then at around 7 pm, i start feeling incredibly bad

I get what you mean here too, I can feel like this at any time usually when I'm alone though. And I tend to be alone in the evenings. Do even if I've had a wonderful day in the evening, alone I might feel like this.

[JohnHoper]

Everyone has this every once in a while, but if you put on a happy when you know people are around, then just know this... you are living in a world with more than 7 billion people and just know that there's always that 1 person you know that will always be there for you :)

[Loverboy2011]

same goes with me, everytime i do bad things, they will noticed it, but for my achievements and great work,. not at all. even "congratulations and good job" ...

[Infidelitas]

same goes with me, everytime i do bad things, they will noticed it, but for my achievements and great work,. not at all. even "congratulations and good job" ...

Same. My anxiety gets the better than me, then I fuck up.

I always fuck up. Bigtime

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

edit: I never fucking shut my big mouth, I always seem to piss people off. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK