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April 17th, 2011, 04:46 PM
Okay, i need to stop. Right now. Never again.
My self harm used to be bad, like quite bad. But since then I've found the love of my life who encouraged and supported me until i stopped.
Well, thats what he thought. I had never truly stopped, although i cut it down a lot i never completely gave up self harm. Thats the problem. I made promises to my boyfriend that i would NEVER self harm again. i meant it, and i believed it.
But i couldn't handle it, everything in my life- i just needed a release.
He caught me out a couple of times, i betrayed his trust and i felt bad, even worse when i tried to hide it from him. But he renewed his trust in me, over and over again. Until this time. i need to prove myself to him, that i'm over it. He offered to get me help and told me he understood my situation. I need to prove to him that i can do this, i don't need self harm, it can't power me.
My self harm used to be bad, like quite bad. But since then I've found the love of my life who encouraged and supported me until i stopped.
Well, thats what he thought. I had never truly stopped, although i cut it down a lot i never completely gave up self harm. Thats the problem. I made promises to my boyfriend that i would NEVER self harm again. i meant it, and i believed it.
But i couldn't handle it, everything in my life- i just needed a release.
He caught me out a couple of times, i betrayed his trust and i felt bad, even worse when i tried to hide it from him. But he renewed his trust in me, over and over again. Until this time. i need to prove myself to him, that i'm over it. He offered to get me help and told me he understood my situation. I need to prove to him that i can do this, i don't need self harm, it can't power me.