Getting Over Disorders?

[Indecision]

I used to have anorexia and bulimia, I've been down that route. I had to be hospitalized as I went down to just over 5.5 stone eek. They fed me up to six before I could go home, but I had to stick to a special eating plan as well, it was horrible I remember. I hated having a eating disorder, but it was as if I had two people inside be; one who wanted to be healthy, and one who wanted to starve.

I didn't really try finding a way of distracting myself from my disorder. But i'm quite a philosophical thinker. I started to think of reasons why I wanted to be skinny. Here is what I found;
>I was jealous of my friends, I wanted to be the skinniest.
>I was much skinnier than all my friends, although I felt so darn Fat!
>All my friends look amazing in bikini's and crop tops etc. I look like a twig and I was never the right shape for anything. (Too many bones sticking out.)
>All my friends looked better than me, they never complimented my skinniness, they only ever complimented each others figure's.

In the end I thought I wanted to be like them; I'd never seen myself with a proper figure 'cause I'd been too skinny. And being skinny was the only thing I was good at, starving myself. So If I put on weight, I could easily lose it if I wanted to right?

Right, at first it scared me, when I went to six and a half stone I HATED it. So I went to lose weight. And did it successfully. Six months later, all my friends were talking about figures, wearing corsets, tight belts to get the perfect hour glass figure. I felt so left out, I hated it. So I tried again. Putting on weight, and it worked. I now am just about seven stone (Don't fret, i'm quite small, just over five foot) and loving my figure, in fact all my friends are jealous of me! Okeh, yeh, I did wear tight belts just to shape my body, but I guess that's real teenage pressure heh. I'm so proud of beating anorexia, it's soo bloomin' hard!
Anyone else managed to beat any eating disorders? Even just a teeny bit? Love to hear it! Stay strong everyone.x :P

[Fiction]

Well done! I know it isn't fucking easy.

I never really had a severe eating disorder, I just used to starve myself and purge. The lowest weight I got to was 95lb and i'm 5"4. So not that skinny. But either way my natural weight being about 108lb, i'd lost quite a lot. I'm loads better now. I weigh about 105lb. I can't say I don't sometimes look in the mirror and think... remember when you could see your ribs that bit more... but I know it's not worth it. I'm actually starting to kind of like the size I am.. maybe. :P

[Syvelocin]

I say I'm semi-recovered. I have some issues, but I'm on the right route at least. Though I've been up and down for a while now. The only issue now is that, because my anorexia started when I was much younger, I was never that heavy to begin with (plus my genetics don't help either, my mum's family has naturally small women), so to be healthy now, I have to be heavier than I've ever been :/

At my lowest point, I was 5st. (yeah, I know :/) and I was in a similar situation, they forced me to be on an IV through it until they decided to discharge me. I'm doing better though, obviously I'm much heavier than that now and I'm starting to enjoy food again without worrying, but I do have those days every now and then. Though I'm supposed to stick to the calorie limit my doctor gave me, my eating habits are never constant. Some days I eat barely anything, others I eat my calories or at least get pretty close to it.

Eating disorders are so ironic though. Most of the time, it's attempting to make yourself more attractive, smaller, but you end up far less attractive than you started, because it's definitely not attractive. People don't seem to believe me though, until they see me in a bikini (I don't swim though, both because of my looks and my non-existent self-confidence and my scars, so that's usually rare anyway). The only thing I've ever been able to see wrong with my weight, is my hip bones. There's nothing I'm more self-conscious about nowadays.

[1_21Guns]

That's really good hun :)

I've...gotten past mine a little bit I guess, but not overly. I'm trying not to think of it as a recovery, just because I know I could slip back any minute as I'm still on very fragile ground. At my lowest, I've been about 5.7st, which mixed with my 5'5" height, was very noticable, I kinda scared myself when I finally saw it, which I guess was the worst bit. But yeah, I don't mind it sometimes, I'm just over 6 now, it's okay I guess.
But I've always been naturally slightly underweight anyways.

[SWMG]

That is great girl!!!