MTF: Telling Parents HELP!

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

I am transgender but i need to tell my parents about the MTF surgery so i can become the female person i was mean't to be. Can anybody please help me plan out how to tell my parents.

Are there any Transgender people who can help me?

PLease and Thank You

[ShatteredWings]

Wooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhh Slow down.

You're 13, there's a very low chance you can get surgery, or even hormones. We got somes times to think about that one.

What kind ofpeople are your parents? Are they accepting, do they have any idea you're a girl, are they gonna freak out if you tell them.

How sure are you? I don't mean to discredit (I'm FTM), but it's something you need to be sure about, in case you're wrong and you tell people, you've basically lost credibility at that point.
That's nto to say liev in secret, but don't spill out the huge bombshell without being 100% sure.

How are your friends with this stuff?
Do you have anywhere to go should your parents throw you out?
Are you able to deal with the harassment and shit that comes with being openly transgender?

[Spock]

well iam one of his friends and i support him and iam ok with him doing it but idk about his parents but if people make fun of him then they should just deal with it because he is who he is and no one can change that

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

wooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhh slow down.

You're 13, there's a very low chance you can get surgery, or even hormones. We got somes times to think about that one.

What kind ofpeople are your parents? Are they accepting, do they have any idea you're a girl, are they gonna freak out if you tell them.

How sure are you? I don't mean to discredit (i'm ftm), but it's something you need to be sure about, in case you're wrong and you tell people, you've basically lost credibility at that point.
That's nto to say liev in secret, but don't spill out the huge bombshell without being 100% sure.

How are your friends with this stuff?
Do you have anywhere to go should your parents throw you out?
Are you able to deal with the harassment and shit that comes with being openly transgender?

wow u helped a lot

not

[ShatteredWings]

You didn't give enough information to give a thorough answer and as I don't know you you cant expect me to infer all that

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

i would have put some of that up if i knew it, like asking about my parents

[ShatteredWings]

But you know what kind of people they are, you should know how they feel about this stuff.

[steve76]

your only 13 and wanne be a girll??? are you afraid to admit that your gay cause yuoll get made fun of..if your a transgender you''ll get no respect from your peers.....srry

[Bimmerhead]

i would have put some of that up if i knew it, like asking about my parents

Yeah these are questions no one can answer for you. IDK are your parents going to be accepting?? You know them better then anyone. Plus if your parents are smart they will tell you exactly this, your 13 and still going through puberty. You still have a few years to decide what you want to do your too young!

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

your only 13 and wanne be a girll??? are you afraid to admit that your gay cause yuoll get made fun of..if your a transgender you''ll get no respect from your peers.....srry

Just because i wanna be a girl doesn't mean im gay, im not attracted to dating male at all. If i was gay i would have put that on there or asked for help in that area but im not gay, just transgender: Male Appearance and Female Mind

Actually from everybody i have told so far i have gotten support and telling my friends has made a better friendship because now they understand me

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

Yeah these are questions no one can answer for you. IDK are your parents going to be accepting?? You know them better then anyone. Plus if your parents are smart they will tell you exactly this, your 13 and still going through puberty. You still have a few years to decide what you want to do your too young!

Actually i was looking for a help from somebody who has been through this and im finding more and more.

This is something that has nothing to do with puberty, its called Mind of Female and Appearance of Male
I'm not to freaking young and i have been trying to decide for the past 2 years and now my heart is set on going to change to female

[Syvelocin]

I'm sorry hun, but I do agree with Kyle. It's a serious decision. I'm 18 and I haven't even spoken about my sexuality (I know it's different, but it's close) since I was 15 and thought I was bisexual, because I was scared people would pass it off as hormones. But I came out as bisexual, and I ended up being lesbian, which has gotten me into some deep shit in my love life. I'm just saying, a couple years to think on it wouldn't hurt. Don't be so quick to jump into it. It's only your appearance, but honestly, I don't believe in gender past the physical aspect. I think I'm a girl, but my mind is genderless. What I'm saying is, as long as you know who you are, whether you are female, male, third gender, etc. it doesn't matter in the long run, be yourself. And when you're older, you get the surgery. Now, just be a kid, be yourself, and accomplish what you can of it now: acceptance. You seem to have done a bit of that already which is great, but the most important step is your parents. Gauge your parents. Are they conservative, or liberal? Christian? Which denomination? Do they usually vote for or against gay marriage? (again, it's just to gauge. I can't think of someone who doesn't like gays but is accepting of transgenders).

Try to bring up that kind of thing in casual, maybe hypothetical, discussion. Make up a friend who told you that they were transgender, see how they react to that. There's all different ways you can figure out if it's a good idea. If they're extremely against it, it would probably be better to wait until you're an adult and out of their house (as I've seriously seen kids thrown out and disowned over this sort of thing).

[Spock]

^ i kinda agree but i would have to say do what you think is right it is ur body ur the only one who nos ur self the best

[Bimmerhead]

Actually i was looking for a help from somebody who has been through this and im finding more and more.

This is something that has nothing to do with puberty, its called Mind of Female and Appearance of Male
I'm not to freaking young and i have been trying to decide for the past 2 years and now my heart is set on going to change to female

Dude seriously I doubt anyone would even perform a surgery like that on a 13 year old! Just think about what your body undergoes from ages 13-22! I would imagine starting hormone therapy and things like that could adversely affect you developmentally. Your only a kid once. You should honestly think of the time money and resources it takes to do what you are suggesting. It would eat up a lot of time to do what kids your age do best, hang out with friends go to school etc. Honestly more power to ya if you are looking for a change but consider waiting a few years so it doesn't get in the way of growing up. But honestly it seems like no matter what anyone says on here your just going to think and do what you want so whats the point right?!

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

Dude seriously I doubt anyone would even perform a surgery like that on a 13 year old! Just think about what your body undergoes from ages 13-22! I would imagine starting hormone therapy and things like that could adversely affect you developmentally. Your only a kid once. You should honestly think of the time money and resources it takes to do what you are suggesting. It would eat up a lot of time to do what kids your age do best, hang out with friends go to school etc. Honestly more power to ya if you are looking for a change but consider waiting a few years so it doesn't get in the way of growing up. But honestly it seems like no matter what anyone says on here your just going to think and do what you want so whats the point right?!

i dont want to grow up the wrong person and be an adult and changing
its harder then and there is more to worry about and they have done this surgery on people below the age of 10

[Bimmerhead]

i dont want to grow up the wrong person and be an adult and changing
its harder then and there is more to worry about and they have done this surgery on people below the age of 10

Ok... So you obviously decided this way before you made this thread so why do you need us? You obviously have it all figured out so good luck with that!

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

Ok... So you obviously decided this way before you made this thread so why do you need us? You obviously have it all figured out so good luck with that!

no this is asking for help about telling my parents not about the surgery itself

[Bimmerhead]

no this is asking for help about telling my parents not about the surgery itself

Honestly like others have said you know your parents better then anyone. In this case though unless your parents are very religious, being upfront and honest about how you feel is the best way to go about it. It may not be pleasant but its like a band aid. If they are anything like my parents they will still love you no matter who you are boy or girl.

[kaitlyn.killsyou]

Yeah your 13, surgery is out of the question. however, if you are sure, and you would like to tell you parrents, right them a letter explaining everything, all your emotions and whats going on, tell them that youd rather not be confronted about it but you just wanted them to know. and go sleep over at a friends house, leave the letter somewhere you know theyll see and thes no confrontation what so ever, that how my friend told her parrents she was bi-sexual

[Aspiringanonymous]

It is possible to get on hormone blockers at 13. However, I have heard that this is not a long-term solution, especially not over the course of years - our bodies need some kind of hormone present in order to function. This is just word of mouth from others' experience, best way to confirm would be to find a doctor who is knowledgeable about this stuff. Yes, that unfortunately involves telling parents. I don't think you have to necessarily be 18 or 19 or whatever, age requirement for medical confidentiality isn't always analogous to the age of majority. I believe it is 16 over here. But that is still a lot of [crucial] time.

Hormone replacement therapy is also possible for minors (considering the above? - I would speculate), but with parent permission of course.

Do what you need to do. The 'common sense' response is to wait until you are old enough, in case you get kicked out or whatever, but if idly watching yourself experiencing the wrong puberty is going to be impossible to deal with and even life-threatening, then that may not be the best approach. Listen to your intuition. No one knows your situation better than yourself.

[DerBear]

I know for a fact that they would not even do surgery until puberty is over its an fact because you are too young for it and your body would still try and develop you as a male

but as for making up your mind its up to you

[smitty35]

Wooooaaaaaaahhhhhhhh Slow down.

You're 13, there's a very low chance you can get surgery, or even hormones. We got somes times to think about that one.

What kind ofpeople are your parents? Are they accepting, do they have any idea you're a girl, are they gonna freak out if you tell them.

How sure are you? I don't mean to discredit (I'm FTM), but it's something you need to be sure about, in case you're wrong and you tell people, you've basically lost credibility at that point.
That's nto to say liev in secret, but don't spill out the huge bombshell without being 100% sure.

How are your friends with this stuff?
Do you have anywhere to go should your parents throw you out?
Are you able to deal with the harassment and shit that comes with being openly transgender?

I agree with ShatteredWings. You are most likely going to freak out your parents when you tell them that. You must keep in mind that you are only 13 years of age. I think that you should take more time to think about this HUGE LIFE CHANGING PROCESS. You also have to think about what will friends/family will think of you after you are open about it.

Plus, its not that simple as going to the hospital and saying: "can I have my vagina and boobs now?".

It takes over a year of therapy and hormonal treatment ect. In other words you have to live as a women for a year and make sure you can maintain a job and live a happy life.

I’m not telling you not to go with it. I’m just letting you know that it isn’t an easy process.

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

I just started my letter to my family but i also want to talk to them in person any ideas on how to start the conversation and lead them in

[anonymous53]

"Mom, Dad I've been thinking about some things for a long time, and I've decided that I want to be a girl."

[Sebastian Michaelis]

"Mom, Dad I've been thinking about some things for a long time, and I've decided that I want to be a girl."

It is like being gay, you don't decide it.

"Mom, Dad I've been thinking about some things for a long time, and I've realized I am a girl."

Hey you may want this but I'm telling you that if you ask for the surgery they are most likely going to say no. You should wait till your out of school as to bypass the bulling and wait till your about 20 as to not interfere with puberty. Besides it costs a lot so if you want it when your 18 you better start saving up because the surgeon isn't gonna cut off your dick for free.

As for telling your parents I'd try to do it one on one. And you should probably tell a cousin, aunt, or sister first. If not it would probably be better to tell your mom alone.
Just be sure they aren't holding something heavy or operating heavy machinery like a car. The last thing you need is to be dead. Make sure they're sitting and not distracted, meaning no TV. And don't do it during family dinner unless your brave.
Pick a nice, sunny, and carefree day where your home alone with your mom when she is in a good mood and sit her down and just tell her up front.

[ShatteredWings]

Please don't post 2 threads on the same topic.

I'm merging this into your last topic.

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

It is like being gay, you don't decide it.

"Mom, Dad I've been thinking about some things for a long time, and I've realized I am a girl."

Hey you may want this but I'm telling you that if you ask for the surgery they are most likely going to say no. You should wait till your out of school as to bypass the bulling and wait till your about 20 as to not interfere with puberty. Besides it costs a lot so if you want it when your 18 you better start saving up because the surgeon isn't gonna cut off your dick for free.

As for telling your parents I'd try to do it one on one. And you should probably tell a cousin, aunt, or sister first. If not it would probably be better to tell your mom alone.
Just be sure they aren't holding something heavy or operating heavy machinery like a car. The last thing you need is to be dead. Make sure they're sitting and not distracted, meaning no TV. And don't do it during family dinner unless your brave.
Pick a nice, sunny, and carefree day where your home alone with your mom when she is in a good mood and sit her down and just tell her up front.
i dont want to fuck up going to college so its better to have it done b4

[Quick_Sylver]

Alright.

First off, listen to Kyle. He knows what he's talking about, BIGTIME.

Second, Don't label yourself so young.

Third, Why are you rejecting help from the ones who actually know what they're talking about?

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

Alright.

First off, listen to Kyle. He knows what he's talking about, BIGTIME.

Second, Don't label yourself so young.

Third, Why are you rejecting help from the ones who actually know what they're talking about?

2. i did because i have been feeling like this for so long

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

It is like being gay, you don't decide it.

"Mom, Dad I've been thinking about some things for a long time, and I've realized I am a girl."

Hey you may want this but I'm telling you that if you ask for the surgery they are most likely going to say no. You should wait till your out of school as to bypass the bulling and wait till your about 20 as to not interfere with puberty. Besides it costs a lot so if you want it when your 18 you better start saving up because the surgeon isn't gonna cut off your dick for free.

As for telling your parents I'd try to do it one on one. And you should probably tell a cousin, aunt, or sister first. If not it would probably be better to tell your mom alone.
Just be sure they aren't holding something heavy or operating heavy machinery like a car. The last thing you need is to be dead. Make sure they're sitting and not distracted, meaning no TV. And don't do it during family dinner unless your brave.
Pick a nice, sunny, and carefree day where your home alone with your mom when she is in a good mood and sit her down and just tell her up front.
who ever said that the surgery area was going to be seen and if i start horomones in like the end of a school year then but the next year it should be started from what ive seen with others thats how it is
yeah i thought about telling my mom in the car after school but then i thought about how the reaction to it will change the driving and the consequences that would go with it

[DerBear]

why is waiting soo wrong

i mean crist jesus your 13 you will NOT get surgery until after puberty very rarley do they do it as A your body may still develop as a boy and even with horomone therpy and all the joys that come with that there isa a risk just WAIT and the cost are a lot and i think their is more of a chance that the royal wedding will be cancled than your parents paying for it and even less chance that it will be done for free just wait for god sake

whats so wrong with waiting

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

I have to say i can never understand how it feels to be trapped inside the wrong body but i imagine you would want to get out into the right body as soon as possible so people lay off HER about waiting longer.

But this thread is about coming out as transgender. Your parents may be more shocked that your trans than if you were gay because people fear what they don't know and not many people know a trans person and most people only know the drag queen stigma of flamboyant people who want to fuck everyone(a quote from my ex-friend).

I would suggest you talk to your parents about a neutral trans topic like a thing about trans marriage in the news or a senior at your school getting hormonal treatment to become a woman. See how they feel about that then if you get a positive response tell them when your ready.
A good way to tell when your ready is when the excitement and relief outweighs the fear
Also from personal experience DO NOT EVER EVER come out in a moving car high emotion + moving car = bad

[DerBear]

I do not think he is going to come out to his parents

and hes wanting surgery which he will never get until at least his late teens and it will cost a lot

plus i would just go with whatever comes to you

you know what they say its not what matters on the outside but what matters on the inside lol

good luck whatever you do

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

I do not think he is going to come out to his parents

and hes wanting surgery which he will never get until at least his late teens and it will cost a lot

plus i would just go with whatever comes to you

you know what they say its not what matters on the outside but what matters on the inside lol

good luck whatever you do

i do want to have the surgery but now i think i should do hormones first (i want kids)

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

I have to say i can never understand how it feels to be trapped inside the wrong body but i imagine you would want to get out into the right body as soon as possible so people lay off HER about waiting longer.

But this thread is about coming out as transgender. Your parents may be more shocked that your trans than if you were gay because people fear what they don't know and not many people know a trans person and most people only know the drag queen stigma of flamboyant people who want to fuck everyone(a quote from my ex-friend).

I would suggest you talk to your parents about a neutral trans topic like a thing about trans marriage in the news or a senior at your school getting hormonal treatment to become a woman. See how they feel about that then if you get a positive response tell them when your ready.
A good way to tell when your ready is when the excitement and relief outweighs the fear
Also from personal experience DO NOT EVER EVER come out in a moving car high emotion + moving car = bad

Thank you for saying HER and being understanding what the post was for
I know not to talk about this in the car with them
I want to have kids so maybe having hormones then the surgery would be better and surgery is too expensive right now in this stage of life

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

why is waiting soo wrong

i mean crist jesus your 13 you will NOT get surgery until after puberty very rarley do they do it as A your body may still develop as a boy and even with horomone therpy and all the joys that come with that there isa a risk just WAIT and the cost are a lot and i think their is more of a chance that the royal wedding will be cancled than your parents paying for it and even less chance that it will be done for free just wait for god sake

whats so wrong with waiting

i never said that i couldnt wait i just dont want it to come to late where it doesnt go well

[DerBear]

ok well

A) this will Cost a lot who is going to pay for this

B) Start by coming out to your friends and familys

C) Please do tell us how this is going to happen in tyerms of you paying (this should be intresting)

[Spook]

If you are going to get surgery you're gonna have to tell your parents because they need to approve of it. But...13 is a very young age to actually KNOW who you are and what you want to do with your life. You may be going through a phase, hormones...you never know. I say give it time, and wait until your older.

And it IS true hormones can affect your growth in the long run if you are young when you get the surgery. Just be sure, hun. :)

[suza23]

So you just said that you don't like guys but you have a female mind.

So basically you are a lesbian?

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

So you just said that you don't like guys but you have a female mind.

So basically you are a lesbian?

yeah kinda

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

If you are going to get surgery you're gonna have to tell your parents because they need to approve of it. But...13 is a very young age to actually KNOW who you are and what you want to do with your life. You may be going through a phase, hormones...you never know. I say give it time, and wait until your older.

And it IS true hormones can affect your growth in the long run if you are young when you get the surgery. Just be sure, hun. :)

i know that im going to have to tell them, i want it now but i can wait
its not a freaking phase when you have had feelings from when you were younger
I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DENY THIS FOR TOO LONG I CAN"T ANYMORE, I AM NOT GOING TO DENY IT ANYMORE

[Portable Desert]

Give it some time, even if you are absolutely sure. I agree with everyone else, I think you are a bit young for surgery.:)

[DerBear]

i honestly do not think we can help you anymore because we have given you advice on nearly all aspects of your questions and more if you need support after you tell ur parents just say but to be honest its not like coming out being bi or gay ect ect....because you want to change your whole self like being re born more or less

well good luck with whatever you do

[micim987]

trust me one of my friend cousins got what he calls "the change" and he or should i say SHE wanted to change back to a man but a second surgery would be dangerous and would cost too much so ide take a long time of thought before i had some kind of surgery
that would change my life FOREVER

[SuperTgirlTaylor]

trust me one of my friend cousins got what he calls "the change" and he or should i say SHE wanted to change back to a man but a second surgery would be dangerous and would cost too much so ide take a long time of thought before i had some kind of surgery
that would change my life FOREVER

u cant go back, it would take a lot of work to go back
i want to take hormones and then get the surgery later at like 20+

[Quick_Sylver]

u cant go back, it would take a lot of work to go back
i want to take hormones and then get the surgery later at like 20+

You have to enter therapy for the hormones for at least a year before they even consider about surgery hun. Good luck, all the same.

[anonymous94324]

your only 13 and wanne be a girll??? are you afraid to admit that your gay cause yuoll get made fun of..if your a transgender you''ll get no respect from your peers.....srry

That is so shallow. im 13 and i know im trans. although i am bisexual, there is NO connection between being trans and gay. also, i am sure some of her peers will support her because they are not *****es

[Emerald Dream]

That is so shallow. im 13 and i know im trans. although i am bisexual, there is NO connection between being trans and gay. also, i am sure some of her peers will support her because they are not *****es

Please do not post in threads with more than two months of inactivity. This is four years old. :locked: