I feel like its just going

[MadManWithaBox]

I know I'm getting better. I can feel myself getting stronger, I'm on day 23 of not cutting. But I feel like I don't want to be better. He's is back. He's been whispering in my ear for 3 days now. And I've been ignoring him, But I want to do it, and he's just helping, and I don't know what to do, or who to believe, and I can't stop the memories I think about them and I just wanna to stop and tear myself apart and sob or bleed to death cos it hurts like nothing I don't know what to do I'm losing it again..... sorry just needed to get it out so I can decide what to do.

/rant

[SometimesThere]

Please don't listen to the voice you are hearing. I know it can be hard, but try to tell yourself it's just an illusion.

Try to talk to someone who can understand - a parent, friend or doctor - straight away. Hopefully they will help you and make you feel better again.

You've done so well by going nearly a month without hurting yourself. And I really hope, for your sake, that you remain on the path of getting better.

I can understand, to some extent, what you are going through. And know it's very hard not to give in to what you are hearing and sometimes seeing around you. But try to stay strong.

[tpzy94]

just think of the aftermath of cutting...i mean if alcoholics and drug users can quit after 25 years of doing stuff then i know you can do it

[1_21Guns]

Ignore him Matt, he's not right and deep down I know you know that too
you've come so far, and got so much stronger, he's just clinging onto you, you don't need him anymore, and you don't need to die ot cut, nobody does

[MadManWithaBox]

I don't think I've come far enough. I feel like I want to break, and bleed, because thats what he says.;

[1_21Guns]

he's saying it, not you Matt, you don't have to break, and he can't break you anymore

[MadManWithaBox]

I can't shut him up he's just getting louder and louder and I can't ignore him for much longer or he'll get me

[1_21Guns]

He can't get you Matt, you'll always be stronger than him, make him go away, you've done it before

[MadManWithaBox]

But now I don't know how.

[1_21Guns]

Nobody can tell you that Matt, you've done it before, and you can do it again

[MadManWithaBox]

I did before. I don't know if I can now.

[Nevermore]

Matthew, try and ignore him. He's wrong. You're strong. You're doing amazingly well, don't let him affect you. He's worthless! You dn't want to do well, because that is what he is telling you. I can understand for you wanting to do it. It's hard to stop, but try resisting. You know it won't help any in the end. Try and distracting yourself when you start seeing memories. I know how you feel, and when that happens, it's so hard not to want to tear yourself into pieces, but you know what? The past is the past. Nothing can change it. We must accept it, as hard as taht is to do. Look how strong you came out of it! You're doing amazing. A lot of people probably wouldn't have been able to make it this far, but you did! And you can keep going because there is strength in you Matthew to keep going, to keep this up, and to keep ignoring him. I know how hard it is to ignore him. I deal almost with a similar thing when I hallucinate. It seems impossible. Just keep reminding yourself, he's not there. You are strong. You can keep going. :)

[Spook]

Don't listen. You have gone 23 days! That is super impressive, and you cant throw that away now! That voice...keep ignoring it and don't let it influence you...distract yourself in any way you can---you aren't worth this pain, you need to let it go. PM me if you want to talk.

~Caitlin