Oh goodness

[Nevermore]

So I'm falling back worse then before. I've eaten 195 calories total today. Probably only eat veggies for dinner. Then I'll exercise at least half of it off. I'm a mess. I really need help. I'm terrified of hosptilization, but this can't go on. I'm lossing too much weight, and I can't stop. I can't stop counting, I can't stop hating myself. I just want to be thin. :'(

[anonymous53]

Is there any way you can make it so you can't see the calories? Like have someone take a marker to all the nutrition facts.

[Nevermore]

No. Unfortunately it's impulsive for me too search it. If I can't find it on a wraper, I will see it online. I do it without thinking. I'm a mess. I just want to cry. I feel ugly, fat. Maybe inaptient would be a good option for me. Argh >.<

[anonymous53]

This will be a horrible idea, maybe shut yourself out from the internet, and resources that would allow you to find the nutritions. Maybe Inpatient would help you, I don't know how it is where you would go, the hospital that is... I truly doubt you're ugly or fat.

[Nevermore]

Truth is I'm extremely underweight, and now suffering bad health affects of heart problems because of it. I don't want to go to the hospital it scares me, but if I don't this will only get worse.

[anonymous53]

The hospital scared me too :( But you know what you need to do, does your hospital have a special ward?

[Nevermore]

What's a special Ward? I'm sorry I've never been to the hospital before, which is why I'm freaking out.

[anonymous53]

Some of the hospitals have teenage wards, which are split off into sections (In my area).
One for violent, and one for non-violent. The hospital really isn't that bad, it takes a day or two to adjust to, but once you do it can actually help.

[RAWWR]

Yeah, the hospital by me has a ward especially for people with eating disorders aswell, maybe they will have one of them where you are, so there are people with the same problems as you.

[Nevermore]

Hopefully, I know we have two, but they have other things like depression and bipolar there.

[moon_lit_angel]

you ok hun :(

[anonymous53]

Hopefully, I know we have two, but they have other things like depression and bipolar there.

That's pretty normal. The first one I went to had me rooming with a kid waiting for trial for a violent crime....Not a fun time, we got me out of there as soon as possible.

[SWMG]

Even if it is scary it is a need that will save your life so dont be afraid of the hospital it will definitely help you girl!

[Nevermore]

True, but still I'm incredibly scared. I really don't want to go. I don't want help, even though I sort of do in the long term of things. I'm just really worried.