The scales are back.

[georgiamay]

My scales broke a few months ago, and since then, I've gradually gone back to eating normally. I'll admit, I've binged and starved a few times, but nothing major. I haven't purged in ages.

But the scales are working again, and I weighed myself, and now I'm regretting it. I weight the same as I did before I started with any of this. Since the scales broke, I've gained back all the weight I've lost, and I can't let myself gain anymore, I need the number to go down again.

I wish I never checked it, I wish I'd ignored them and pretended they were still broken, because I know I'm going to get obsessed with it again and go back to weighing myself 4 times a day. I don't want to, I really don't, but now that I know my weight, all I can think about is how many calories I need to cut out to bring it down.

Maybe if I broke the scales... But that wouldn't change the fact that I know how much I weigh again. Plus, I'd have my dad to answer to.

Ehh, just needed to get that out, I don't know where I'm going to go from here, but I'm pretty sure it's no place good.

[Fiction]

I have stopped weighing myself for that reason. I'm (almost) the weight I was before all this. My scales are still there, they're still in the bathroom and yeah sometimes I end up weighing myself but i guess you just have to block out that you've put on weight. it's not too late to start pretending the scales are still broken...