farkingdom
April 11th, 2011, 08:28 AM
I know this guy for quite awhile. He had a best friend that left and went off to study in another country. So let's say in the beginning, I'm not close to him. But during class, I sat and talked to him a lot. Eventually our friendship became what was known as - best friends. We communicated mainly through text messages and internet messengers. At first, he was fun to talk with, we told jokes, played games, ....but suddenly...
I started to become emotionally attached to. Not only that, I became jealous when he contacted his previous best friend or any good friends instead of me. I'm always thinking that maybe I have to back off sometimes, but I can't resist. I really love this dude. I was always sending him messages but his replies are short (eg: o.O) At times,he seemed totally uninterested to talk to me. Few months ago, I quarreled with him almost everyday because of his lack of response or when he was hanging out with another friend because he rejected my offer to hang out with me instead. I was always the first to apologize, if not he probably wouldn't do anything and let the situation be- forever. I hate it. Besides, I'm always the first one to do IMs, SMS, or whatsoever in order to communicate with him. If not, we wouldn't be talking forever. He's probably a not-so expressive kinda person.
I always tend to type long text messages since I don't get a chance to go out with him or at least meet him. But after getting an unsatisfied answer such as "ok..." or no reply at all, I tend to explode in anger. And I'll probably type emotional hurting message hoping that he would argue back ... but no. He let it be. So again I apologized. Because he won't do anything or respond. And this whole cycle repeats again.
Recently when I talked to him, I could feel this depressing aura or whatever you call it. And he told me he felt the same too.
I know it's my attitude. But I just can't change myself. I always call him "best friend", "I miss you dude" and stuff. And I think he's getting sick of it ;he called me to stop texting him emo messages and destroying his day.
Before you call me gay or whatsoever, I stand firm that I'm not. I did not fantasize having sex with this guy or kissing him. I once had a crushed on a girl I like.
My emotion is messed up. My attitude... I don't like it myself and always trying to change. Him... I must talk and hang out, but he's not really outgoing. I wanted to get close to this fella. I want him to be my loving brother. What should I do?
I started to become emotionally attached to. Not only that, I became jealous when he contacted his previous best friend or any good friends instead of me. I'm always thinking that maybe I have to back off sometimes, but I can't resist. I really love this dude. I was always sending him messages but his replies are short (eg: o.O) At times,he seemed totally uninterested to talk to me. Few months ago, I quarreled with him almost everyday because of his lack of response or when he was hanging out with another friend because he rejected my offer to hang out with me instead. I was always the first to apologize, if not he probably wouldn't do anything and let the situation be- forever. I hate it. Besides, I'm always the first one to do IMs, SMS, or whatsoever in order to communicate with him. If not, we wouldn't be talking forever. He's probably a not-so expressive kinda person.
I always tend to type long text messages since I don't get a chance to go out with him or at least meet him. But after getting an unsatisfied answer such as "ok..." or no reply at all, I tend to explode in anger. And I'll probably type emotional hurting message hoping that he would argue back ... but no. He let it be. So again I apologized. Because he won't do anything or respond. And this whole cycle repeats again.
Recently when I talked to him, I could feel this depressing aura or whatever you call it. And he told me he felt the same too.
I know it's my attitude. But I just can't change myself. I always call him "best friend", "I miss you dude" and stuff. And I think he's getting sick of it ;he called me to stop texting him emo messages and destroying his day.
Before you call me gay or whatsoever, I stand firm that I'm not. I did not fantasize having sex with this guy or kissing him. I once had a crushed on a girl I like.
My emotion is messed up. My attitude... I don't like it myself and always trying to change. Him... I must talk and hang out, but he's not really outgoing. I wanted to get close to this fella. I want him to be my loving brother. What should I do?