Think I'm going to be single for a while

[theoburray]

I'm 19 and I've been single my entire life. Now I'd say 15 was around the age I started become somewhat interested in being in a relationship but it hasn't really hit me a lot since I've turned 19 even before then (which was about 5-6 months ago). I really want a relationship but at the same time I don't want to rush into one out of desperation, I'm sort of looking for the right person for my first girlfriend which is probably not the right route to take.

Anyway in the last few months I've improved physically (Lost body fat and gained muscle, look healthier) and mentally I feel I can talk to girls I know better in regards to trying to establish a relationship (only due to asking one girl at work out a couple of times but it never worked out) however I'm only confident once I know the girl, like I could be introduced to a girl and I'd be great and myself but I am too shy to just walk over to a girl and start a conversation.

Now here is what may seem shallow, the last two girls I have liked a lot have been very attractive and one girl gave me her number and I asked for the other girl's number but bascially I got both girl's numbers and not in a 'friendship' type way because the girl who gave me her number I'd only just met and the other girl I hadn't presented as a friendship type thing. Anyway the girl who I asked for the number was the one I asked out but it didn't work out which sucks because I chose her over the girl who did give me her number but this was four months ago and I haven't seen her or spoke to her since which means that opportunity is OVER most likely :(

But even though these chances didn't materialise into a relationship, I still did somethings right in establishing the early stages considering I wouldn't have gotten either number they didn't want to give it to me, at the least they would have gave me random digits. I think what ruined me with both these girls is my lack of experience in this area more than me personally which sucks because if I had the knowledge of some people I'd know I probably wouldn't be asking this question.

But my problem is since both these attractive and 'hot' girls have seemed to show somewhat of a mutual interest in me, I'm finding myself going for looks over personality but don't get me wrong. Looks only go so far in a relationship, I want to be able to have good conversations with my future gf.

I sort of know I could get attractive girls (I must be good looking enough to get attractive girls with personality, I know I'm not ugly but I'm no Brad Pitt but maybe my confidence helped a lot with those two girls) but I can never make the first move ever. I just need to know how to do that, I'm pretty stuck here, I could go back and try to do something with the girl who gave me her number but since it's been four months since we've talked I wouldn't know what to say or how to explain my sudden call.

I'm just dissapointed that my two biggest opportunities at a relationship so far haven't came to fruition, it has been my luck for years though. I like a girl or a girl likes me and it's going well then out of point blank range the momentum runs out and I end up staying single. I just don't know how to get over this.

I know it's not the right attitude to have but they are my thoughts at the moment.

[SimSailorNick]

Ummm. Maybe you should forget about what happened in the past because i think that's just gonna make you more afraid of talking to other girls. It's gonna be stuck in your head that you might not make the right decisions again when you meet another girl.

If you're more into looks than into personality, that's your choice. Everyone has their own preferences. It's not something bad. Just make sure you're really a person who would choose looks over personality cause sometimes, it's just at the beginning that people say this.

For the, "you can never make the first move" part, you should have more confidence. You said so yourself that you're pretty good looking. Don't be afraid to have a relationship with them. It's not like you're gonna marry them or something. Just start out as friends first then wait for something to develop if there is something. Good luck! :)

[theoburray]

that girl I haven't spoke to in four months liked the last photo I was tagged in on facebook, maybe theres an opportunity there :) jk haha, I'm not one of those people who think the internet carries much substance when it comes to those sorts of matters but it was a pleasant surprise I guess but I didn't leap for joy lol :p Well at least she can recognise the 'new me' now, I do look different from when I met her lol.

I actually never mentioned, about a month ago now I texted her asking if she was going to some club and she responded back with a general response saying No, who are you going with? but have a good time anyway but it seemed too general and I didn't know if she knew it was from me personally plus I thought she'd think I'm weird for texting her 3 and a bit months after meeting her without talking to her anytime since so I said I 'accidentally' texted her that, apologised and said it's 'me' how are you anyway? Now I regret that cos she didn't message back and it was the stupidest thing I've ever messaged in my entire life, saying to a girl 'I didn't mean to text you!' (obviously I didn't do it with an exclamation mark), maybe if I just continued the text conversation with a normal response we could have continued :( oh well at least I know I still have her number and she's still there (somewhere). Obviously liking a photo on facebook means well nothing to be honest but I've hesistated calling her recently because of a) the time it's been and b) the stupid text I sent and the only thing I could say about the text if it was brought up was that I was pretty drunk at a friend's house or something, it'd be believable lol but I don't know whether it's going backwards although I seem to like her again and I actually had a dream about her the other day!

Other than her, I have an 18th party this weekend so possibly a chance to a few girls there (I won't know any of them, it's my friend's younger brother's party).

[Ryunosuke]

Yeah I Can Realte To That. Not Sure What Advice To Offer Though, But Whatever You Do, Don't Be Afraid To Let Yourself Go Out There. Just Watch Yiourself.

[music is my soul]

okay....maybe try texting her again and act like that stupid text never happened. i find that it helps. and dont be afraid to make the occasional small slip up. itll help you in later relationships. sry but i cant give anymore help than that right now.

[theoburray]

I'm thinking text her but this time actually have a back and forth convo within it (as to eliminate awkwardness if I called her) and if it goes well then call her and ask her out after we've 'caught up', good idea?

[theoburray]

I sent her a text 30 minutes ago or so, I couldn't be too forward as I haven't seen her in four months but it's now 10pm here on Wednesday Night so I guess I give it until tommorow and wait and see, she replied back to me when I texted her a few weeks ago so if she really wants to get in contact with me she will and if she doesn't...looks like I'm 0-2 in 2011 :-/

[theoburray]

however...my past came back today :p I was at the library and I exited anyway, along the corridor out the exit there is a cafe to the right, quite a business class cafe. Like a guy like me by myself how I was dressed wouldn't probably go in there (there isn't a specific dress code though, it's laidback but posh) and I'm 83% sure I stared point blank at Girl #2. Now I remember reading on her facebook that's where she worked but I forgot about that, at the time I was texting a friend and she walked past a couple of times but it looked very busy, some sort of business type party and she didn't look too happy, the chances are it was her because I doubt there is two girls who work there who look exactly the same. Since I've only seen her once before in the flesh, thats where the 83% came in. Anyway, I didn't say a word and neither did she, it looked like a tense environment for her so I didn't want to start a conversation especially since I'd probably get her in trouble (it's not very big place so her boss could see if she is slacking) but I didn't say hello because of that and as for her either she recognised me and just ignored me but odds are she was the same as me to be honest, I look different then how I did 4 months ago, obviously not dramatic but if the last time you saw a person was 4 months ago it's quite a difference. And how I said she liked my last photo on facebook well that was taken in the end of Feb and I wasn't wearing my glasses (I wear my glasses all the time) so I'm sure that didn't help. I could show the photos to prove that i look a bit different but I'd rather you take my word for it. Now my thoughts about it hasn't changed, i'm not going to suddenly pursue her again but it was weird and in a way it kind of hurt. Not something I wanted to see. Mind you she looked fit, nice legs and butt wearing shorts, i was amazed by her beauty but yeah I'd rather i didn't see her.

[moon_lit_angel]

i think you need to sit down and figure out in your own head what you want. it sounds to me like you want to be with this girl but are too afraid to say anything to her. and as for her she probably feels the same.
the norm is that lads make the first move, so even a text with "Hey hun, hows you.? x" might get the ball rolling :)

I'm currently in a similar position well not so similar. its me, the guy i've been with since september and other girls he's texting that he doesnt know i know about :@

Good luck anyways :)
x

[theoburray]

i already did that a couple days back lol and didnt get anything and today it was just freaky, I was on about one hours sleep if that and she didn't look too happy either, it was just weird and I can't really say anything more than that.

[moon_lit_angel]

i already did that a couple days back lol and didnt get anything and today it was just freaky, I was on about one hours sleep if that and she didn't look too happy either, it was just weird and I can't really say anything more than that.


aw ok.. sorry :( well if your tired, you could just be imagining that shes upset

[theoburray]

aw ok.. sorry :( well if your tired, you could just be imagining that shes upset

Nah I remember her face clearly she wasn't happy and not because of me lol, her work looked REALLY busy so I didn't want to say anything or do anything to make it worse. Sad thing is If i saw her smile I would have definetly known if it was her :(

[moon_lit_angel]

:( Maybe she was having a bad day.

[theoburray]

Well I went out tonight was gonna go to a party at a mates house but my close mates were going to the city so i went there instead which is good because I would have been moping about this girl most likely. I had a great time, few drinks went to a comedy show and at around 1am I get a text from her saying 'Hey (my name), (friends name) wants to know when you're going out next?'. Now it isn't a close friend she was with stabbing my back or anything lol, they have a lot more mutual friends than me and her so they were probably in a big group and I'm sure he knows I like her if shes told him the contact I've had with her.

Also she tried to call me around 15 minutes before I got the text unfortunately I was underground at the comedy club so I didn't get a signal, wish I did so I could hear her voice :(

Not getting my hopes up but I'm glad I might not have fucked it up completely yet.

[theoburray]

I'm not sure what to do next, I'm frustrated I didn't get phone reception because I probably with have met up with her, my mate and whoever else was with them in the city :(

I'll talk to my mate and see what's up and I'll probably try to call her tonight.

Good idea?

[theoburray]

Talked to my mate and he said that she said to him that she was going to text me, he must know I like her and I think she just said that it was him asking when I was going out next when it was really her. I tried calling but it went to voicemail as usual, I'm going to wait a little hopefully she contacts me because everytime I've tried to dive in nothing happens but I'll try to get in contact with her for next weekend too nearer to the days but it's Easter so I doubt I'll be able to do much due to work and other commitments. But hopefully something is working out here.