Well, I haven't a clue

[icfaidwt]

Okay. Here I am. Was a little hesitant to join this sight, at first, that was just at first. Making my first post, to you, the reader, and hopefully, the helper. Yes, that is your title. Me. That's mine. But I am here, therefore, I must have an issue. Particularly, one to do with self-injury. And I confess, that I do indeed have. So here's the ol' story.

My dad is an abusive alcoholic who once hit my mom who left him because she is gay and dating her sister's ex-wife. I just went through a really rough break-up with a girl (I am a gay) and often question whether or not I'm gay. I have been talking to my school nurse and school councilor (mainly the nurse. The councilor is kind of iffy . . . ) about, initially, my recent appetite and my not-so-recent sleeping patterns. This turned into a discussion about my feelings of sadness and so forth in which both have hinted that I maybe depressed. I have been referred to a therapist and will see one soon. Although, my mother, who is intrusive as fuck (pardon my french) is unhelpful and pushy, so, I'd rather keep her out of everything, which is, so far, fine by the nurse and councilor. BUT, I am faced with a dilemma. I have recently started cutting. Not very much or intensely (the scars are very thin and not very deep at all). Although, I have mentioned cutting in general to the nurse, I can't admit that I have been cutting to her (less she be legally obliged to take outside action!). And being that most of my friends are not very helpful and I am VERY embarrassed to even MENTION it to the people I'm closest to, I thought I'd seek refuge on the interwebs: home of the falafel.

I have no idea specifically why I cut. I wish I did, but ever since I started, I can't really . . . stop. I would like to, but the more I do it, the harder it is to think about stopping. I was wondering if anyone could . . . well . . . help me with this dilemma?

[Revolution]

The truth is that unless you're willing to tell someone that you self-harm, stopping is extremely difficult by yourself; especially if depressed.

All the members seem friendly here so just speak to them when your feeling depressed, it may stop you from cutting even if it's just for one night. Take it day by day and the weeks will come, sure you will cut again (it's naive to say people won't) but focus on the days you haven't and you will be fine.

Best of luck.

[Ambrosia]

All of us on this part of the forum are faced with that delima, the whole cutting and so forth. So yes, welcome to VT. Make yourself comfortable and I hope you stay for tea(Lol)!

I'll tell you one thing, even though you have only recently started it might be hard to stop. But because you're not too deep into it you still have a very good chance of avoiding all the nasty scars a lot of us have to show(And hide). Ask your counsoler/nurse for help and tell them you cut, don't just discuss the topic with them. If they have been this helpful so far then they will continue on that path. They can help give you good ideas on how to stop and can be some of the people who will be your stability posts.

When you get to see your doctor I recommend telling THEM as well. They are qualified in helping.

I'm glad you're one of the lucky few to get to see one. You have such a great chance already! I'm sorry you're suffering through all this but don't worry, as repetitive as it is to say, it will get better (:

[Fiction]

Cutting is an addiction. Once you've started it is really hard to stop, and it only gets harder.

I know it may be difficult, but i'd try telling the school about your cutting. It'll be easier to stop with help, and it'll be easier to stop now before you fall further into the addiction of it. If you carry on like this in 90% of cases your parents find out eventually, and it might not always be in a way that you can control. My parents found out about my cutting after I ended up in hospital for a suicide attempt. Okay, that's probably worst case scenario but it's just an example of how it's better to get help now than to leave it until later.

Good luck, feel free to contact me if you want to talk :)

[icfaidwt]

I was talking to an old friend yesterday who I found out had a cutting problem that as I understand it she solved without her mother knowing. She seems to want to help me and I've known her since I was in diapers, so that's good. I just think that the embarrassment of my mom/nurse knowing and having to report me is something I'd rather avoid . . .

[char0906]

im really sorry you resorted to cutting,
as a cutter of 2 years, i know how hard it is in the beginning, but in all honesty, it may sound harsh but the less you dont admit it the harder it gets to stop, in the beginning, i didnt tell one person! no one knew, which made me feel so alone, which made me cut more,
you really do need to talk to someone, even if its a complete stranger...
recently i told someone i know from school... but the thing is i basically hated him since we had a bust up... but to my surprise... he self harmed too.! which made me feel so much better, i hardly cut myself since i can always talk to him when i feel like cutting :)
so sweetie your better telling someone, anyone, its a lot easier to stop when you have support! :D
you can always message me for someone to talk too :D <3

[Indecision]

Although some people say telling someone about your cuts is the best way to go, my friend told the councilor she was cutting, they put it on some record which could stop her going into college's, it's the biggest thing she regrets. I find it easier to tell people my age about my cutting. I don't know why, but it's almost as if I can tell that these people cut too. 'cause everyone i've told cuts too (That being eight people!). The decision is really up to you, but never go for anything unless you're completely sure you think it's the right decision; Every step forward, there's no looking back.
G'luck & Keep Strong.x

[whereismymind]

Its good you've come on here it helps a lot. As far as telling people goes the nurse goes they're only likely to tell your parents. Also if your gonna tell friends only tell the ones you trust. But I hope this turns out well for you and good luck :)

[Cynical]

If you aren't comfortable telling your nurse or counselor I would recommend finding a friend to talk to. If that doesn't work for you VT is a good place to come to since we know what your going through, and hate to see others in the situation. Trying to stop by yourself is extremely difficult even when you just started and unfortunately the addiction and severity of the cuts only gets worse with time. Good luck getting help. :)

[icfaidwt]

Thanks for the help, tout le monde :)
Although some people have advised against such, I have decided to tell the school nurse. She understands that my mother isn't very good with situations and will probably take matters immediately into her own hands (although, my mother will obviously be told).
All I can do now, is hope that this helps.

Wish me luck, todo el mundo . . .

[NobodysCupOf Tea]

GOOD LUCK! i too felt very embarrassed so its definatley a good thing that you've found someone you can talk to, it dosnt matter that it's the school nurse! as long as it makes sense to you!

I wish you all the luck in the world my dear and can only hope you can get out while you can! contact me if you ever want to,

fingers crossed for you! good luck x