Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old October 31st, 2010, 03:56 PM   #1
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default *sigh*

I really want to be skinnier... I'm 5"4.3 and weigh 98lb. I always loose so much more weight during the school holidays and i go back to school tomorrow. The next holidays i have are Christmas holidays, the most impossible time of the year to loose weight. I really need to loose weight before then so that i can perhaps afford a tiny bit of weight gain during....
I know i shouldn't care about any of this but i really do. I just want all this obsession in my head to go away. i want not to care what i eat but it isn't fucking going away. :/

Sorry for the rant.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:12 PM   #2
Rick's_Rodeo_Girl
Member
 
Rick's_Rodeo_Girl's Forum Picture
 
Name: Devin
Join Date: March 31, 2010
Location: Montana
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: *sigh*

Kathy! You need to eat more and GAIN weight not loose it! Honey i know this is the hardest thing your gonna have to do but you have to eat. You have to. Your tiny sweetie. Eating isn't what makes you fat. Its the whole no exercise and eating enormous amounts of fatty foods that do. You should eat small meals throughout the day rather then meals that are large once or twice a day. To start with eat two small meals. Like a peanut butter sandwhich and when you hungry again eat another or eat a turkey sandwhich or some mac and cheese.


Ricky!!! I love you!!!! Forever!!! <3

Quote:
[The Resurrected One]Mods and Devin please
Rick's_Rodeo_Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:21 PM   #3
Fact
Banned
 
Fact's Forum Picture
 
Name: Symone
Join Date: October 10, 2010
Location: England, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
I really want to be skinnier... I'm 5"4.3 and weigh 98lb. I always loose so much more weight during the school holidays and i go back to school tomorrow. The next holidays i have are Christmas holidays, the most impossible time of the year to loose weight. I really need to loose weight before then so that i can perhaps afford a tiny bit of weight gain during....
I know i shouldn't care about any of this but i really do. I just want all this obsession in my head to go away. i want not to care what i eat but it isn't fucking going away. :/

Sorry for the rant.
Don't be sorry for the rant meine Tochter.
You know you definitely don't need to be any thinner than you already are. As Devin said, you actually need to gain weight.
I know how fixated you are on controlling your weight and I know it's hard for you to resist the urge to purge/not eat, but you need to realise that by gaining just a little bit of weight gradually, that will give you much more control.
I think that if you gained some, your weight would be more constant because your body wouldn't be crying out for fat stores all the time, therefore you'd stay at a more constant weight whatever you ate/how often etc.
Seriously, if you get much thinner/lighter/skinnier, whatever it is you think you're after, you'll be at a dangerous rate.
Also, it won't be helping your heart problems etc. with you being this thin and not taking in correct amounts of food, so I think if you're healthier in that respect, your heart might not be so bad (just a theory).

I know this seems like one big rant at you to eat, but I just don't want you to feel like this anymore. It's horrible to see how thin you are all the time and how you're 'happier' when you lose weight.
It's not healthy and you need to find something else to concentrate on (not cutting) that you can control and makes you feel good.

I love you, please think about this carefully.
Fact is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:22 PM   #4
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: *sigh*

I do eat, that's my fucking problem. I kinda know i have too but.. idk. It's like, it's hard not to eat because i get too tempted but it's hard to eat because of all the guilt going on in my head.
I'm making plans for the next few days on how little i'm going to eat and i know i shouldn't but i really can't help it :/
And thanks Symone, i know it isn't helping my heart problems at all but idk :/ There is nothing i can concentrate on other than this. Idk i'm so confused :/
Love you too x

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:33 PM   #5
Fact
Banned
 
Fact's Forum Picture
 
Name: Symone
Join Date: October 10, 2010
Location: England, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
I do eat, that's my fucking problem. I kinda know i have too but.. idk. It's like, it's hard not to eat because i get too tempted but it's hard to eat because of all the guilt going on in my head.
I'm making plans for the next few days on how little i'm going to eat and i know i shouldn't but i really can't help it :/
And thanks Symone, i know it isn't helping my heart problems at all but idk :/ There is nothing i can concentrate on other than this. Idk i'm so confused :/
Love you too x
What is it that's confusing you exactly?
You keep mentioning being confused a lot.
Fact is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:38 PM   #6
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: *sigh*

Why, when i know i'm skinny, i still want to loose weight. And why whenever i eat i get this guilty feeling and begin to hate myself, yet i still eat quite alot. How i feel like i'm too weak to resist eating when i know i shouldn't even be resisting eating and it'd probabaly take alot more for me to eat... or does it. Cause i seem to be doing a whole fucking lot of it anyway :/

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:42 PM   #7
Fact
Banned
 
Fact's Forum Picture
 
Name: Symone
Join Date: October 10, 2010
Location: England, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
Why, when i know i'm skinny, i still want to loose weight. And why whenever i eat i get this guilty feeling and begin to hate myself, yet i still eat quite alot. How i feel like i'm too weak to resist eating when i know i shouldn't even be resisting eating and it'd probabaly take alot more for me to eat... or does it. Cause i seem to be doing a whole fucking lot of it anyway :/
I've never seen you eat a lot and when you do it's always healthy.
You need to work on re-brainwashing yourself into believing you CAN eat almost whatever you like within reason.
I know it's not the best timing ever (or is it?) because of exam stress etc. but if you're not worrying about whether you're losing/gaining weight then things in general would probably seem a lot easier to deal with, if you can crack it.

You need something else to focus on... I don't know what that might be, but you need to stop feeling guilty and weak because I know you're not! And I think you know you're not too.
Fact is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:47 PM   #8
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: *sigh*

Hmm :/ I have made my plans for how much to eat when i get back to school and it's pretty low. Once i make plans like that it's so hard not to stick to them :/

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:50 PM   #9
Fact
Banned
 
Fact's Forum Picture
 
Name: Symone
Join Date: October 10, 2010
Location: England, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
Hmm :/ I have made my plans for how much to eat when i get back to school and it's pretty low. Once i make plans like that it's so hard not to stick to them :/
Setting yourself ridiculously low meal plans is like setting yourself up to fail and therefore feel guilty/weak.
I am going to be feeding you tomorrow.
Fact is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:55 PM   #10
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: *sigh*

Please don't -_- If i eat more than i have planned i really will feel like a failiure.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 04:58 PM   #11
Fact
Banned
 
Fact's Forum Picture
 
Name: Symone
Join Date: October 10, 2010
Location: England, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
Please don't -_- If i eat more than i have planned i really will feel like a failiure.
Which is exactly why you don't allow yourself to plan in the first place.
Maybe this one can be your weaning-off-diets-plan? You're obviously not happy about it, otherwise you wouldn't post on here for advice/help/ranting.
Fact is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 05:03 PM   #12
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: *sigh*

My diets always just go to shit anyway, that's why they need starting again. I'm not happy because i always end up fucking them all up and gaining weight again.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 05:13 PM   #13
Fact
Banned
 
Fact's Forum Picture
 
Name: Symone
Join Date: October 10, 2010
Location: England, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
My diets always just go to shit anyway, that's why they need starting again. I'm not happy because i always end up fucking them all up and gaining weight again.
But that's what you need! Weight Gain!
Even if it's subtle, even if it's 1lb or 2lbs a month over half a year!
You'd feel so much better for it if you could break your cycle.
Food for thought (no pun intended).
Fact is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 05:19 PM   #14
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: *sigh*

yeah but i get to points where i eat more. Like these last few days. Where i eat a normal amount and eventually the guilt takes over again.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 05:25 PM   #15
Fact
Banned
 
Fact's Forum Picture
 
Name: Symone
Join Date: October 10, 2010
Location: England, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
yeah but i get to points where i eat more. Like these last few days. Where i eat a normal amount and eventually the guilt takes over again.
Distract yourself? Counteract the guilt. Tell yourself it's for the best and embrace the fact that you're part way recovering.
Fact is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 05:28 PM   #16
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: *sigh*

I don't even need to "recover". Another confusing thing, do i even have an ED? :/

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old October 31st, 2010, 05:32 PM   #17
Fact
Banned
 
Fact's Forum Picture
 
Name: Symone
Join Date: October 10, 2010
Location: England, UK
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiction View Post
I don't even need to "recover". Another confusing thing, do i even have an ED? :/
You do & yes, you do.
Fact is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 1st, 2010, 12:39 PM   #18
georgiamay
Awesome Poster
 
georgiamay's Forum Picture
 
Name: Georgia
Join Date: February 24, 2010
Location: uk
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

yes, considering what you just told me, you do have an ED.
When you eat more than 1000 calories, that's a good thing, there's no need to feel guilty about anything. Even that amount is too low, you should be at 2000 a day.
have you spoken to anyone about this in real life? face to face? It does help.

98lb is so light. You don't need to lose anymore weight, and no matter how much it seems like you do, you don't.

You're beautiful. Remember that. And you're one of the nicest girls I've ever met. You don't deserve to feel this way.

georgiamay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 1st, 2010, 12:42 PM   #19
Love.Hate
Carpe Diem
 
Name: Fran
Join Date: October 16, 2009
Location: UK
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Default Re: *sigh*

Kathy your perfect the way you are now.
Dont change. plus its christmas, everyone gains weight at xmas
its part of the fun.

Remember that, you dont need to change!

Fran xxx


Don't let anybody ever bring you down.
Love.Hate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old November 1st, 2010, 01:55 PM   #20
Fiction
Ex Psych Mod
 
Fiction's Forum Picture
 
Name: Kathy
Join Date: January 17, 2010
Location: London, England
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: *sigh*

Thanks Georgia and Fran.
And no I haven't... not really. I've had the odd conversation with my bf but it isn't really a conversation. He doesn't know what to say back.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Itís your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
Fiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:10 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright © 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org