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Old June 29th, 2010, 05:13 PM   #1
Awesome Poster
TigerLily's Forum Picture
Name: Rachel
Join Date: February 16, 2009
Location: England
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Default >.<

i don't even know what to do
it feels like i'm getting a little more fucked up each day
i feel so worthless, more than i can describe
it should have been me who died, not her
i'm nothing.. nothing worth caring about, at all
i couldn't even be a reason to live
i need someone to tell me it'll be okay,
but i feel so abandoned
i've quite possibly just pushed away the only person remotely able to do that
it's not like i don't have people who'd try, just most of them aren't successful
he made me feel safe, but he might have just wanted me for sex anyway.. it's a long story
but yeah, i won't know because i fucked the whole thing up, like i do
and i guess if he cared he wouldn't leave me in this mess anyway
but fuck it, that's not even important i guess
it just reminded me of shit tonight that i didn't need reminding of
i just want to cut
to disappear for a while
i'm a big believer in hope, but i just can't see any
i want to runaway and never turn back
i want to erase my whole life over and start again
and i can't change it, and it won't get better, because she'll never come back and it'll always be my fault
everyone leaves me, i have that effect on people. her too, apparantly.
if i'd never have been born she'd still be here
i just need to be held
i just need this all to go away..
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Old June 29th, 2010, 10:52 PM   #2
Name: Darnell
Join Date: June 29, 2010
Location: NJ
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Default Re: >.<

Things will get better. Things can get pretty bad and you can feel really lonely sometimes but you have to remind yourself that things get better. Maybe you should try doing some new things to occupy your time. You could join a sport if you don't do one right now. It'll get your mind off of things and give you a chance to spend time with other people. Just try dealing with your problems one at a time.
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Old June 30th, 2010, 02:16 AM   #3
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Name: Stephen
Join Date: February 17, 2007
Location: Sydney
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 75
Default Re: >.<

i know i've said it before and i know you don't believe me, but i know it's true. it's not your fault that she's gone. i know you will say otherwise but i promise you that it isn't. beating yourself up about it is not what she would want and even more so because it's not true that it's your fault. i know how easy it is to wonder about the 'what ifs' and stuff of how you could have done things differently, acted differently, etc. but the point remains the same, no matter how much you think it's your fault, it isn't.

unfortunately it's the people who we feel closest to that can hurt us the most sometimes. i know, because its happened to me 2 or 3 times now. but that doesn't mean that everyone who cares for you will abandon you. i know that there are people in your life who care for you very much and i'm one of them. you aren't alone and you will make it through this. your existance alone has and will continue to make this world a better place. you're my best friend online sweetheart and while you are you will never be alone.

you are 15 sweetheart, in only a few years time you will be able to go out and do whatever you put your mind to and move away from all those bad memories and make a life somewhere new. remember, whatevery negative spin your mind says about you and your life, you have the power and the will to change it for the better. i won't pretend it will be easy and happen overnight, but i know it will happen. love you


Always Hawthorn

Hawthorn Football Club

Strong As One

~Laura was here~
~Jessi should have been here~
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Old June 30th, 2010, 02:22 AM   #4
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Name: Nick
Join Date: January 27, 2009
Location: UK
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 14
Default Re: >.<

You're very far from worthless, you are a lovely person that has been a great friend to me and, as you know, you are one of the few people I can turn to when things are bad. You are stunningly beautiful and sooner or later will find the one person that will really love you and give fresh meaning to your life. We're all looking for our person, it takes patience to find them.

You cant change whats happened but its not all your fault. You didnt ask for everything that went on, your mother made her own choices at every stage, you could not change or control those things. You shouldnt be coping with this alone in the way that I believe you are, anyone would struggle, please get some counselling.

You are loved.
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Old July 11th, 2010, 05:37 PM   #5
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Name: Filipe
Join Date: July 10, 2010
Location: Portugal
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Default Re: >.<

I wish I knew you better, just so I could write a halfway decent reply...

Since I didn't.. I'll just give my best...

You're 15, just like me... And you're in a whole lot of crap... Just like me...
Basically... I lost almost all my friends and the other ones lost me... I feel alone like crazy... Sometimes I just wish my life was like a damn movie where it all ends well and I get the pretty girl... But that isn't the case... So I decided to let go of all that and make something out of myself... So I started producing music... I'm not very good at it... But I felt great doing it and I met new people, great people...
You should find something you're good at and try to get better at it... That's my advice to you...

Hope I was helpful at all

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here.


-A fellow 15 year old
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