Virtual Teen Forums
 

Go Back   Virtual Teen Forums > >
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read Chat Room

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old June 22nd, 2010, 08:31 AM   #1
LoveMe_HateMe
Nice Poster
 
LoveMe_HateMe's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: April 18, 2010
Location: England
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default 'It' is getting worse

Its getting worse, I'm getting worse. I was sat in bed last night for nearly an hour just crying or god knows what. But my SH i've gone from cutting 1/2 times in a couple of days to stopping for idk about 2 months (?) ...maybe...to starting again but it's hellova lost worse this time, its doing 20+ cuts, burning, biting, scratching. its getting worse i cant even go a whole day without doing anything now. i hate it.

I read about people's posts saying they've told/telling their friends. its not fair. I want someone other than my boyfriend to be able to talk to about, someone i can be able to trust. I can trust my boyf but I don't want to tell him I've started again. I don't want him to know, I don't want to see the dissapointment in his face again, I can't deal with that. Call me selfish I don't care. I know I am selfish. I read about so many people who actually have reason to SH but I'm sat here like this, doing this, and my life I suppose couldn't really be much better, well aside from the fact I have no real friends but still, I have no reason to cut.

I'm not even sure what the point of this thread is but.. Idk.

You are never alone, no matter how islolated you feel. There is hope.

"I'm my own worst enemy" ~ Jacoby Shaddix

PM if you ever want to talk x
Formerly PRoach
LoveMe_HateMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 22nd, 2010, 10:11 AM   #2
georgiamay
Awesome Poster
 
georgiamay's Forum Picture
 
Name: Georgia
Join Date: February 24, 2010
Location: uk
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Default Re: 'It' is getting worse

First of all, well done for stopping for that long

i know and i understand how you feel if you ever need to talk you can just PM or VM me anytime

maybe you should tell your bf you've started again, so you can get some support. i know it seems awful and hard, but once it's out there, i'm sure he'll be there to support you, and you'll be able to talk to him about the way you feel, and he'll help you through it, so it'll be easier for you to try and stop.

and dont worry, its normal to feel like you dont have anything specific wrong with your life and still SH. its like an addiction right? it becomes a coping mechanism, and sometimes you dont have a reason, but you do it anyway.

i know how you feel, so again, PM me if you ever need to talk x
georgiamay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 22nd, 2010, 02:00 PM   #3
Mike321
Great Poster
 
Mike321's Forum Picture
 
Name: Mike
Join Date: July 28, 2009
Location: Halesowen, England
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Default Re: 'It' is getting worse

Well done for stopping 2 months, thats really good
And I know its hard thing to do, but it might be best to tell your boyfriend, he knows how you feel and would be able to support you and help you.
There doesnt need to be a reason, I know what you mean about just wanting to do, but keep fighting it, your a strong person
PM me anytime
Mike321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 25th, 2010, 07:45 AM   #4
Wish
Junior Member+
 
Wish's Forum Picture
 
Name: Annabelle.
Join Date: March 30, 2010
Location: Narnia.
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Default Re: 'It' is getting worse

Well done on stopping two months, that's amazing. What do you think carried you through those two months and eventually, what caused you to begin cutting again? Maybe you could tell us or your boyfriend those answers. He cares about you, that's why he is still with you and beside you, and I think he would be more disappointed if you kept it from him than if you told him. Relationships should be based on trust after all.

I think that self-harm gets worse. If you have had a 'break' from it for two months then naturally, if you go back to it, it is a complete escalation of what it once was. That's normal (not to say it is good, just 'normal')- however 'normal' self-harm can ever be classed as being. Perhaps you could try and put some other coping mechanisms in place to help you.

Talking is the key here, I am sure. Don't beat yourself up about self-harming because the fact is, you do it, there isn't any getting away from that and it is never ever selfish.

Take care xx

Wish is offline   Reply With Quote
Old June 27th, 2010, 01:02 PM   #5
LoveMe_HateMe
Nice Poster
 
LoveMe_HateMe's Forum Picture
 
Join Date: April 18, 2010
Location: England
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: 'It' is getting worse

Thanks for the support guys

seeing as you've all said basically the same thing it may be easier for me to answer you all at once rather than repeating myself in different ways. You say I should tell my boyfriend and I know I should but i'm too scared seeing the disappointment in his face again, and i don't want him treating me differently and always having to think "hang on if i say this will she go and harm her self again" I don't want him to be thinking about everything he says and does in case it'll hurt/offend me.

'Wish': the thing that stopped me for those two months was my boyfriend, I didn't want him to see the cuts, well when I say i stopped, i only stopped the cutting, i found some other methods that didn't leave marks..but they didn't quite have the same effect. What made me start again was I felt so low and rarely happy orin a good mood and everything had just gone even further downhill. I'm not sure exactly why i started again but it was a mix of everytime i went into the kitchen i would see the knives and i'd just want to use them...and i was cooking and i caught my hand on the baking tray after it came out of the oven and althou it wasn't much, it brought me such a sense of relief, happiness, calmness that i just started again after that...Now does any of that make sense or is it all just random rubbish?

You are never alone, no matter how islolated you feel. There is hope.

"I'm my own worst enemy" ~ Jacoby Shaddix

PM if you ever want to talk x
Formerly PRoach
LoveMe_HateMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:28 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright©2000 - 2017
Search Engine Optimisation provided by DragonByte SEO (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Copyright 2004 - 2017, VirtualTeen.org