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Old May 19th, 2010, 12:48 PM   #1
1_21Guns
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Name: Natalie
Join Date: May 16, 2009
Location: Hell.
Age: 22
Gender: Female
Default if we can't change the past, why do we spend so long thinking about it?

i can't get it out of my head.
what she said to me.
what he said to me.
what i said.
what i did.
what i put myself through.
what everyone put me through.
the decisions i made and came to regret.
the people i loved that i came to hate.
the people i hated that were once enemies are now friends.
my whole world is just the oposite of what i ever expected.
who the hell am i?
what the hell am i doing with my life?
what am i going to do with my life?
why did i agree to let my whole world cave in on me?
why did i agree to destroy someones life for my own selfish needs?
maybe i was young and stupid, troubled and confused.
i mean, i was 12 years old, my mum gave me the chance to get away from my fathers abuse, what had torn me apart for 12 years. what was i going to say?
but now i remember the months before she asked me this.
and we were at my aunties and the family had a big argument, i just drank my way away from it. but then i went into the kitchen and my mum and auntie were talking about them leaving thier partners. i hoped for weeks it was true, but when my mum never mentioned it or did anything, i figured it was just drunken words which had ment nothing.
but when my mum asked me this i was overjoyed, i thought i was finally going to be free.
now i wish she'd never mentioned it.
i just keep thinking about the past, everything i should've done differently or should've said. i know it wont change it, but i just can't help myself.

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Old May 19th, 2010, 10:03 PM   #2
Wtficus
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Name: Conor
Join Date: March 21, 2010
Location: Canada
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Default Re: if we can't change the past, why do we spend so long thinking about it?

People tend to think of the past because they know their decisions effect their future, the thing they say, do, etc. They always ask "What if?". It's like no one focuses on the present.
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