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Old January 9th, 2010, 04:02 PM   #1
1_21Guns
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Name: Natalie
Join Date: May 16, 2009
Location: Hell.
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Unhappy Who am i? ;/

I don't even know anymore, I haven't done for a long time. I don't know who I am. I've had to change so much over the years i've lost who I really am, yet the things I changed to escape haven't gone away. The pieces of me I tried so hard to lose haven't gone. They come back and its like i'm someone else completely. I'd figured some time ago there was like an "old me" and a "new me" from before and after I changed, because old me never really disapeared.. its like she comes back without me knowing and I do things that people wouldn't usually have me down to do.
She was like a completely different person to how I am now, in some ways good, others not so good. Yeah she was confident happy and all the rest, but I nearly lost everything while I was her, which is why I changed or atleast I tried to. After a few failed attempts at changing I became who I am now.. shy, extreme lack of confidence and all the rest... its just crazy. Now i'm wondering if theres more "me's" because some things I do aren't what either person would do, they're just random...

I don't know who I am anymore, its getting in the way of things and slowly making me as messed up as I was a few months ago again because its all suddenly hit me again... I know I should have control over the swapping and changing, but it seriously feels like I don't. One minute i'll be how people know me, the next i'll be thinking like I used to.

This probably makes no sense at all, its kinda hard to put into words. I'm just so lost and confused. I want me back. Not the me's that I made up in the process.

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Old January 9th, 2010, 04:08 PM   #2
woody92
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Name: Ryan
Join Date: November 16, 2009
Location: Bournemouth UK
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: Who am i? ;/

I am sorry you feel like this but if you every need to vent or anything you can rely on me to listen if you want! I hope you get some things sorted out soon and i hope that you feel better soon!

I'M NOT STRAIGHT AND Proud OF IT!

Yes im cabin crew (Flight attendant)

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Old January 9th, 2010, 04:34 PM   #3
Sapphire
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Join Date: March 22, 2005
Location: UK
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 3
Default Re: Who am i? ;/

You reverting back to acting confidently and happily isn't a bad thing. Tbh, it's a good thing.
There are always things that can be improved on when it comes to how we handle ourselves in situations. But going from confident to painfully shy isn't one of them.

Find yourself a counsellor or ask your doctor if he/she could refer you onto anyone who could help you.


~ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step ~

* Nothing in the world has ever been accomplished without passion *
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