First Time Cutting

Originally Posted by Silence

hey,
Sorry I seem to be butting in but i would like to put in my "two-cents".

The first time i ever cut I was in the 7th grade. (about 3 years ago) It was dumb I was depressed and I didn't know what to do, I wanted to be 'happy' again. I don't know why but i grabbed the knife that was on the counter and made a line. There wasn't any blood and I don't know why I did it but I could feel something again. I wasn't so numb. But then everything just went down from there, a downward spiral, people call it. Cutting became an addiction, where it felt like i needed it to feel somewhat normal. I'm supposed to try stopping it, but I don't know if I can anymore..I've used it for two long.

Yeah I agree, after doing it for a while it's really hard when you get the urge to just do something else. Its weird, it kinda changes your thoughts on coping.

Well sorry that is my "two-cents". I don't mean to butt in.

Yea, same here, except I first started with metal compasses, and then dull scissors, and then staples...and yes it is hard to stop, I've tried 4 times...unsuccessfully. I tried just a few weeks ago, and now I have 14 cuts.

hi, First time was about two years ago the stress and depression got to me and i temporarly quit this year for about three months or so but its started back up due to everything going bad. stress+razor=not good.

hey, I've been cutting since i was about 10 and im 14 now. so 4 years. When i was about 8 my mom always pulled me to her and covered my mouth and nose with her hand and i'd try and get away from her as hard as i could. She was always drunk and going out and getting arrested for passing out in her car or something stupid. Then my mom had a heart attack and almost died. My mom moved out and cleaned up, she moved about 10 miles away and my brother who's 19 lived in her basement with his daughter and his fiance at the time. She went to Florida for a "vacation" and when she came back a week later she told them she was moving to Florida from Maryland. My brother had no money. Now i live with my dad who isnt all that good. I fucked up doing stupid stuff and almost got arrested, so i cut... really bad. my dad's girlfriend saw it and kept asking what's that what's that... He sorta covered for me and i don't know if that means that he knows about it because he's never asked me about it or anything like that.
It just goes on and on....Im running out of things that i can do to myself, except not wake up one day

I'ts so hard to stop.. The only thing that can make me want to stop is when i see the only thing in the world that i love...my 3 year old neice. I know it sounds like it's stupid but it's true. When i'm around her it's like i feel happier and i regret what i do to myself. After i leave to go back to my house it's back to the same old routine.

Originally Posted by BelieveInYesterday

I'ts so hard to stop.. The only thing that can make me want to stop is when i see the only thing in the world that i love...my 3 year old neice. I know it sounds like it's stupid but it's true. When i'm around her it's like i feel happier and i regret what i do to myself. After i leave to go back to my house it's back to the same old routine.

It dosn't sound stupid at all, the only time I regret what I do, wish I didn't cut and don't think about suicide is when I'm around my 2yr old nephew........He lives a looooooong way away though.....I won't see him again till Febuary

Sometimes I'm not sure whether i do it for the pain or just so i know that i'm still alive. I enjoy watching the blood come from my wrist and knowing that it's mine.

ye i think thats the best bit cos straight after u cut theres no blood in the cut then u see all the blood seeping through ur skin and turnin in2 droplets it dus feel really gd

exactly

i used 2 cut anywhere mainly in my bed at nite but then i would wake up wiv blood all over my bed, but sumtimes wen i was out wiv frends i would just walk off 4 abit find sumwere quiet and cut myself thengo back i still hav loads of bloody cloths hidden in my wardrobe

I cut in my bed...but I've been clean for 5 weeks....for now.

i cut 2 months ago but yesterday and the day before i started again...stuff is just piling up pon me and i know its not good... what i started again i got deep enough to see blood.before then i didnt... it feels like it releives the bad part of me for a while... i am trying to stop tho..so instead ive been writing poetry and such.. bleh..
im also doing it for my neices and boyfriend and some friends..

i dont want my neices to look up to someone who harms themselves..cuz i dont want them to do that...

my boyfriend.. he saw my wrist the other day and i feel like i upsetted him... he wasnt shocked but we talked about it...

my friends...they always see me as this happy person and if they see me like this then they'll no somethings up..
i love them all to death and i dont want them to see me as someone who cuts... id rather them see me like my old self

Cutting is pretty darn serious. MY friend and I were talking about her cutting and my ex's cutting. I'm a guy BTW. Anyways, I don't understand it, but I am so sad to hear that people hurt themselves because of other people hurting them too.

I could go on and on about how it is physically unhealthy, but it's the motional scars that disturb me most. Not only will the bad stuff stick with you, but the fact that cutting was your escape. I could never hurt myself on purpose no matter how bad things got because I am afraid of doing stuff like that to myself.

IT's kind of like a phobia. IT's weird. I wish all the cutters could find reasons to stop, but a lot of them don't. My friend has tried to kill herself about 7 times. I hope she never goes all the way thru w/ it. I would miss her too much. It made me sad to hear her say that she tried ending it about 7times!

I may get depressed due to life's events, but I am thankful to have life in the first place, so I hope people just stop taking their own lves and other ppl's lives. I also hope they stop destroying themselves slowly. I see cutting as self-destruction even though it is done as an act of self-preservation, but cutters are still going to live with pain of knowing they cut. Some ppl might deny it, but deep down I think all cutters would regret it,

Nope, not me never cutted.

Originally Posted by LostTeenager

Nope, not me never cutted.

Says he who is always talking about cutting and his it in his sig

Well whats weird is he says he has been a severe cutter for the past few months when this is in january, but theres alot of things i don't understand?

He most probably dosent cut, and he is probably straight (he said he was gay) hes probably lying about most things

Hey, i've been "cutting" for 2 months now. Not Exactly cutting though..i take an eraser and just erase my skin until its tender and it hurts too much to keep going. I have really bad scars that will never go away but i just don't know how else to deal with the pain..i'm 13 years old..and i went out with this kid for a year...i seriously thought i loved him..but i couldn't handle him anymore..he was alwasy by me and i just didn't like him i guess...and during the last few months we went out..i just caved..thats when i started cutting..plus my family life is messed...i just can't stop now..i feel like its the only thing i can do to make myself feel better...

hey, ive been cutting for just a year, i started in septemeber, and i managed to take a break over this summer, but i don;t know i couldnt help it especially wen my parents started arguing, and my mum actually wrote herself a suicide note which i keep in my wallet...

when i first cut myself, il admit it was stupid, i sorta just grabbed a knife for no apparent reason and slit my palm open... i wasnt angry or depresd at the time.. i was actually fine... i only did it because a good friend of mine had started self harming, and i wanted to know why she did it, so i tried it out myself.. and now i cant stop, (to be honest i supose i could, if i tried really hard, but i dont want to) which just goes to show...
EVEN if you cut urself for no actual reason at all, you can still get hooked.. its sorta like drugs in a way...

You know, somtimes, if you have the urge to cut, just remember. You won't have to live with you family anymore, or go to the school anymore, or talk to any of these people anymore, once you move out and go off in the world to live your own life. High School is so overrated, its not that important.

never cutted, and i never plan to