Thinking about it... Should I do it?

But i know i can't. I still have 12 year and 5 months left. The girl i love most does not love me back. At least i don't think. I've thought about suicide. But i can't. 12. Years. 5. Months. It seems a long time to wait until i can finally kill myself. Oh and don't ask about the 12 year thing. I have never really thought about suicide this much until one month ago. It started then. Idk why. If you want me to explain the 12 year thing i will. But you'll think im nuts.

Hold in there. Pm if you want to vent/rant. If you don't mind me asking what's with the 12 year thing?

What is the 12-year thing? Don't worry, nothing is too nuts for me. I once told myself that I would seek out death after my 30th birthday, because that is when most people's access to significant freedom and potential in this life ends anyway.

I have to ask this for clarification; by 'doing it' are you referring to self-harm or suicide? Or both? Also, what is the rationale behind your contemplating suicide?

We can't really make a specific comment unless you are willing to share more information. You are always welcome to contact me in private, if that is a better option. I hope everything is okay with you.

By "doing it" I'm referring to shooting myself in the head with a 12 gage shot gun.

question 1
why have you planned your suicide
how silly

question 2
why do you want to kill yourself?

question 3
why the blinking heck do you have a 12 gauge shotgun

Originally Posted by Cloud

question 1
why have you planned your suicide
how silly

question 2
why do you want to kill yourself?

question 3
why the blinking heck do you have a 12 gauge shotgun

1&2
I will be 27 and it will be April 5th. Other people will know what this means. Also, I have just been thinking about suicide a lot lately. I have been diagnosed with depression but I tongue my meds. I don't like being happy or satisfied besides sex. The only thing i am ok with being satisfied with is being sad. It's very comforting. Don't get me wrong I love laughing. Anyway, I have been thinking about just drawing blood. Not to kill myself, because I can't until my right time. For now all I can do is get drunk and take like 12 Benedryl to black everything out.

3. Just cuz. It's my dad's.

I'm going to be blunt killing yourself on that day is not a smart thing at all dude because there's simply no reason for you to do it. You want to follow the life of this person up until his suicide? WHY?

The thing about reincarnation is that you don't make the same mistakes as your last life you make different choices and you become a different person. Also take your meds you might not think they are good for you or you might like being sad but it's not helping you at all.

Originally Posted by Empty Misery

I'm going to be blunt killing yourself on that day is not a smart thing at all dude because there's simply no reason for you to do it. You want to follow the life of this person up until his suicide? WHY?

The thing about reincarnation is that you don't make the same mistakes as your last life you make different choices and you become a different person. Also take your meds you might not think they are good for you or you might like being sad but it's not helping you at all.

I feel i have no choice. Read the last post i put up on the other thread.

I read that post and that's why I'm responding. And the thing about life is that you ALWAYS have a choice it's your life you decide what you do with it.

Well I want to do it anyway. My life is shit either way.

If your life is shit then do something to make it better instead of giving up without trying.

1&2
I will be 27 and it will be April 5th. Other people will know what this means. Also, I have just been thinking about suicide a lot lately. I have been diagnosed with depression but I tongue my meds. I don't like being happy or satisfied besides sex. The only thing i am ok with being satisfied with is being sad. It's very comforting. Don't get me wrong I love laughing. Anyway, I have been thinking about just drawing blood. Not to kill myself, because I can't until my right time. For now all I can do is get drunk and take like 12 Benedryl to black everything out.
I think this explains enough. If you need more explanation, please ask.

That doesn't explain anything dude I've thought about killing myself countless times yet I'm still here posting and I haven't planned my suicide. If you've known half the shit I"ve gone through in my life you'd be amazed I'm still here so don't give me that at all because I've been there. If you don't like your meds talk to your doctor about it or your parents but ffs do NOT give up on your life and plan a suicide in 12 years because of who else died that day.

:/ well obviously I am just a little asshole and should just kill myself right now.

Maybe I missed something, but it seems like this thread is getting absolutely nowhere. You could keep saying you're going to do it, and we'll keep telling you not to, and in the end not achieve anything at all. Ultimately, the choice still resides with you, and if you are adamant about making that choice, we are physically incapable of stopping you.

If you have issues, address them with an open, willing mind. And we certainly can help you do that, but you must be willing to take initiative and ownership of your own well-being.

The way I see it, if you keep refining the belief that you have no choice but to kill yourself, than that is exactly what you are mentally confining yourself to. You do have a choice. The power for resistance against what is perceived as fate, arises out of the ability to see beyond the immediate, and arrive at the bigger picture. Exercising rational control of one's thoughts and actions, keeping emotional impulses at bay.

ok, no one can convince you not to do it but yourself.
Kill yourself, but think about what you'll miss.
You won't be able to see the one you love walk down the isle toward you,
you won't be able to look down into your newborn's eyes and see all the things he/she will accomplish in life,
You won't be able to look at your family in 50 years and realize what is truly important in your life.
Everyone has a future,
It's not clear now, and it might not be tomorrow or the day after that, but sometime you'll know who you are and your purpose in life. Everyone has a purpose.
Please think about it at least. Who you'll leave behind, what you're throwing away, everything. and also, do you think that ending your life will send you to some mystical world meant for those who ran away from their problems? It won't. It'll land you about 50ft underground with your loved ones weeping above you.

Originally Posted by mmFAN

Well I want to do it anyway. My life is shit either way.

can I ask why do u think ur life is shit?

Ok in the first post your whole reasoning was over a girl, ill be blunt, that is the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard. Killing yourself because some girl doesnt like you

^^ agree with poster above , listen to Dustion .. !
we're all here to help you, theres always someone to talk to..

It's just I don't think living is really all that great. It's boring, I really don't think anyone truly likes me, i have insomnia so I'm a fucking zombie all the time. All I do is stay up, write in my journal, play guitar, listen to music, read, etc. I literally have not slept in 5 days. I am so far behind in school it's not even funny. I want to drop out. I both hate and love the misery it brings. I guess I'm not posting this tread for help but to just vent out and hear what people have to say. My parents drive me to insanity. And I know what you're thinking, that's everyone. NO. NOT.AT. ALL. My parents are so ignorant, so arrogant, so stubborn. They never listen to me. Nobody really ever listens to me. The only person that listens to me is myself. Writing. But I can't kill myself yet. I really can't. I need to wait until I've done something with my life. I can't leave it completely empty. I need to leave my musical mark on the world. I need to have a child. I need to have a wife. But I need to kill myself once I've achieved this all. I don't think I could live past it.