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Old May 14th, 2009, 10:13 PM   #1
STAYING_STRONG4HIM
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Exclamation I can't fight it anymore

I can't take it anymore. In my mind and heart I know that cutting is wrong and that I shouldn't do it. But I don't know any other way to deal with things anymore. I am so pissed off right now...and I am really stressed and overwhelmed with things...and my best friend just said something that really hurt me. Me and her have never gotten in a fight before...but it's looking like were in one right now...I can't take this if my my best friend is going to do this to me what is live even worth living anymore.

Heidi
"Recalling all your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy." -- 2 Timothy 1:4
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Old May 14th, 2009, 10:37 PM   #2
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

Cut a pillow. Cut a piece of wood. Splash water on your face. Take a shower. Drink something. Eat something yummy. Get your mind off whatever is bothering you, and resist the temptation. It's bad for you and those you love, and you know that. You can resist the urges. You're a fighter, and giver-upper.

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Old May 14th, 2009, 10:39 PM   #3
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

I can't even put into words how I feel right now..but it sucks...

Heidi
"Recalling all your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy." -- 2 Timothy 1:4
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Old May 14th, 2009, 10:42 PM   #4
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You'll be OK. Think about happy things, things in the future. Encourage yourself to fight hard, so things that make yourself proud. Even if it feels like it, you aren't alone.
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Old May 14th, 2009, 11:16 PM   #5
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

Well my best friend hates me...she's the only reason I have even made it this far...and she's giving up on me...and I think I am just going to cry the rest of the night...I don't want to cut and crying might be the one thing that will make me feel better right now

Heidi
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Old May 14th, 2009, 11:28 PM   #6
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Cry!
Crying is meant to release to sadness, so use it!
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Old May 14th, 2009, 11:33 PM   #7
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

I can't hardly breath I am crying so hard...I really am surprised my sister hasn't woken up from me crying yet...me and her share a room...

Heidi
"Recalling all your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy." -- 2 Timothy 1:4
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Old May 15th, 2009, 02:50 AM   #8
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

If you die, there will be someone mourning you. Your friend, family, and yes, maybe your best friend too...

If you do that, your best friend will feel very guilty about giving up on you, and will be regretful on the future... You don't want your best friend's life to be like that, right?

No matter what, friendship (especially best friends) wasn't came from days, but years!! I believe that your best friend will regret her own action (sooner or later) because she lost her best friend (I mean YOU) already, so don't kill yourself, okay?

Also : PM me if you don't understand what I mean in this post. I try to write this as best as I can, but my English isn't so good...

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Old May 15th, 2009, 05:42 AM   #9
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

My best friend and I are good now. We talked this morning. Both of us were just not in a good mood at all. She didn't mean to hurt me and I never mean to hurt her...
You know how many people would feel guilty if I killed myself...my parents, my siblings, my youth pastor and youth group leaders,teachers, friends. ex-boyfriend. A lot of people would feel guilty even though this death would never have been any of their faults. That's how I feel. I feel guilty for my aunt and uncle's death. I feel like I could have done something more.

Heidi
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Old May 15th, 2009, 07:03 AM   #10
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See? Best friends are just like that. Impossible to be broken

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Old May 15th, 2009, 07:31 AM   #11
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

Yeah well it's killing her to see me like this. So I understand why she would be mad at me. I just need a friend right now.

Heidi
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Old May 15th, 2009, 08:06 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by STAYING_STRONG4HIM View Post
Yeah well it's killing her to see me like this
I'm sorry for asking this, but what do you exactly by "this"? Can't help without knowing what's the problem, right?
But if you don't want to tell, that's also okay, I still respect others privacy . But at least give some hint

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Old May 15th, 2009, 03:34 PM   #13
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I'm sorry for asking this, but what do you exactly by "this"? Can't help without knowing what's the problem, right?
But if you don't want to tell, that's also okay, I still respect others privacy . But at least give some hint
Well what I mean by "this" is that she hates seeing me sad and so frustrated and so depressed. She hates seeing me so not myself. The old Heidi used to smile and laugh at almost anything...sometimes for no reason at all, however right now the Heidi she sees is depressed, isolating herself, and having a really hard time. She hates seeing me so unhappy

Heidi
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Old May 15th, 2009, 10:50 PM   #14
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

So... What exactly make you unhappy?

I believe, she does that "hate" thing because she cares and loves you...

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Old May 15th, 2009, 10:53 PM   #15
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

hmm find another stimulus.. i used to cut myself for a short time.. but played guitar and worked out wen i felt the urge so find another stimulus something u love to do such as drawing etc. good luck.. pm me if u need to talk.

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Old May 15th, 2009, 11:52 PM   #16
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

well lesher...I don't know exactly what makes me unhappy. I don't know the exact thing...that's why I think counseling will help me figure out that exact thing...I am not sure if this is from grief...a rough transition...or just something...I don't know...
and I know my friend cares a lot. She would never do that to me unless she did.

inlove....I have tried finding another stimulus...but it's hard because sometimes one things works for awhile and then it changes. It's hard...but I know I need to find something else...something else to keep me from cutting

Heidi
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Old May 15th, 2009, 11:59 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by STAYING_STRONG4HIM View Post
well lesher...I don't know exactly what makes me unhappy. I don't know the exact thing...that's why I think counseling will help me figure out that exact thing...I am not sure if this is from grief...a rough transition...or just something...I don't know...
and I know my friend cares a lot. She would never do that to me unless she did.

inlove....I have tried finding another stimulus...but it's hard because sometimes one things works for awhile and then it changes. It's hard...but I know I need to find something else...something else to keep me from cutting
if the stimulus you enjoy is to cut.. and not the blood pain numbness; and all that good stuff u could always cut objects... like sticks and stuff.. or so ive heard that works but i have diff stimuluses for diff times.. it just depends on the mood so try to asssign one for each mood... such as one that makes u feel better when sad.. another mad.. another stressed.. another depressed.. you get what im saying??

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Old May 16th, 2009, 12:11 AM   #18
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Default Re: I can't fight it anymore

Yeah I get what your saying...that's a good idea. Or at least make a list of ideas and then whenever I feel really bad...like cutting I could go down the list until I find something that works.

Heidi
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Old May 16th, 2009, 12:13 AM   #19
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Yeah I get what your saying...that's a good idea. Or at least make a list of ideas and then whenever I feel really bad...like cutting I could go down the list until I find something that works.
great idea =] glad i could help you.. and always remember ur LOVED! that helps me

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Old May 16th, 2009, 12:49 PM   #20
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I don't really give myself a lot of credit...for how strong I really am..I am stronger than I think I am...I don't hear that I am loved...hardly ever...

Heidi
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