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Old October 30th, 2008, 07:18 PM   #1
NightHawksr71
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Default Help.... Please[rantish]

Ok well I need help with something. Last Night I just felt like I want to die. that everything was pointless and I should just kill myself. these thoughts have been going on for about 4-5 days now, I just want out of it all, I don't even know why I feel like that, last night I was so close to hurting myself or killing myself or something, I managed to distract myself from the feeling and fell asleep hoping I would be a little more rational today well I am, I still have the thoughts but its not as bad now.

Not only that but I don't feel Anything, I can't love my parents I can't feel sympathy for people all the emotions that make life worth living... I can't feel, I know what your going to say. I need to talk to someone but I don't want to tell my parents, or a doctor, and definatly not the school counselor, Couldn't trust her with anything. I don't even know why I feel like this, my life isn't bad i mean it has its ups and downs like every persons life but all in all its not really bad.......

Don't know what to do............ tried to make it reasonably easy to read..... sorry if its not
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Old October 30th, 2008, 07:59 PM   #2
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

aw dont apologize, part of being a teen is the awful depressive mood swings, its just a phase, dont worry, you,ll feel better soon

You see you don't ever ask for whom the bell tolls.......because it tolls........for thee.......


Make a wish upon a star, wish in a well, or wish on your birthday cake

LifeIsMyJoke is my big brother
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Old October 30th, 2008, 08:56 PM   #3
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

I'm not quite sure how you can say that you 'don't feel'. Your post is rather emotional!

Unfortunately, there are no short cuts here, if you're feeling so down and so poorly that yo';re actually contemplating hurting yourself, (or just plain feeling so rotten for so long), then you really do have to talk with someone who can get you to the person who can help make this go away. Think about who you want to go to, it your case, maybe the person you least trust the least(?), and just go.

These things rarely go away by themselves, there's a reason you're feeling this intensely bad, and you owe it to yourself to take that step to get the help you need to feel better.
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Old October 30th, 2008, 11:11 PM   #4
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Quote:
Originally Posted by IAMSAM View Post
I'm not quite sure how you can say that you 'don't feel'. Your post is rather emotional!

Unfortunately, there are no short cuts here, if you're feeling so down and so poorly that yo';re actually contemplating hurting yourself, (or just plain feeling so rotten for so long), then you really do have to talk with someone who can get you to the person who can help make this go away. Think about who you want to go to, it your case, maybe the person you least trust the least(?), and just go.

These things rarely go away by themselves, there's a reason you're feeling this intensely bad, and you owe it to yourself to take that step to get the help you need to feel better.
its only been in the last 4-5 days, with the suicidal thoughts, but for about 1-1/2 months I could feel very little emotion wise. The problem is I'm not sure if its just the puberty mood swings or if its something more serious. Besides I have no idea who I would tell about this. I can't really trust people all that easily.
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Old October 31st, 2008, 12:21 AM   #5
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Perhaps you have a friend you can talk to about this? It sounds like you definately need to talk to someone. That doesn't have to be an adult if you can't think of any you can trust, though it would be preferable because they could probably do more to help. However, even a close friend can offer support, advice, and encouragement - all of which you could probably use right now. You already have mine, but it's just not the same coming from a stranger over the internet.
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Old October 31st, 2008, 12:44 AM   #6
NightHawksr71
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

well the feelings seem to have subsided for the moment. I think I will wait and see if they come back. if they come back again I guess I will just have to talk to someone about it.
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Old October 31st, 2008, 05:15 AM   #7
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Listen, feeling suicidal and lifeless is not a normal part of puberty! Often, we hear that whatever ails you can be chaulked up to 'puberty', or 'hormones'. But that's not necessarily accurate. Puberty intensifies things, sure, including any underlying emotional issue you might have. But, it really doesn't create them. Puberty isn't like a virus that transforms you into something else.

Hopefully, whatever you experienced was just a bad case pf pubescent flatus, and it won't come back now that it passed. But if it does, don't fool around with it, tell your folks and get some help before it develops any further.
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Old October 31st, 2008, 06:00 AM   #8
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Quote:
Originally Posted by IAMSAM View Post
Listen, feeling suicidal and lifeless is not a normal part of puberty! Often, we hear that whatever ails you can be chaulked up to 'puberty', or 'hormones'. But that's not necessarily accurate. Puberty intensifies things, sure, including any underlying emotional issue you might have. But, it really doesn't create them. Puberty isn't like a virus that transforms you into something else.

Hopefully, whatever you experienced was just a bad case pf pubescent flatus, and it won't come back now that it passed. But if it does, don't fool around with it, tell your folks and get some help before it develops any further.
Yea. If it happens again, I'll tell someone I don't know who but I'll tell someone, until then I'll just assume its to do with hormones.

Thanks for your input though.
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Old November 1st, 2008, 05:28 AM   #9
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

I can relate to you so much because what you described there is EXACTLY how I tend to feel pretty often.

I have like a week whereas I feel angry, distressed and kinda suicidal. It's usually because I'm annoyed at myself or other people. Since I was 12 years old I have resorted to self-harming, no one knew about it besides a very few people. My self-harming gradually got worse and worse as the years went on. When I'm feeling suicidal I tend to just think about it, I would hide under my bed and bawl my eyes out and think about how I would actually die :S but I was actually to scared to kill myself.

When I feel like what you're feeling now I usually just lock the bathroom door and burst into tears and cut my arms with any razor-sharp object, just trying to hurt myself as much as I can. I don't advise you to do that though.

I f***ing hate it when I feel worthless, unwanted, fat, ugly, repulsive, unattractive, hopeless, useless, stupid etc etc. Well, those are exactly how I often feel. But I think a lot of people experience those.

Good luck And remember, you're not alone in this <3

"I can't judge any of you. I have no malice against you and no ribbons for you. But I think that it is high time that you all start looking at yourselves, and judging the lie that you live in." ~ Charles Manson
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Old November 1st, 2008, 08:10 AM   #10
NightHawksr71
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshki_Maggotpop View Post
I can relate to you so much because what you described there is EXACTLY how I tend to feel pretty often.

I have like a week whereas I feel angry, distressed and kinda suicidal. It's usually because I'm annoyed at myself or other people. Since I was 12 years old I have resorted to self-harming, no one knew about it besides a very few people. My self-harming gradually got worse and worse as the years went on. When I'm feeling suicidal I tend to just think about it, I would hide under my bed and bawl my eyes out and think about how I would actually die :S but I was actually to scared to kill myself.

When I feel like what you're feeling now I usually just lock the bathroom door and burst into tears and cut my arms with any razor-sharp object, just trying to hurt myself as much as I can. I don't advise you to do that though.

I f***ing hate it when I feel worthless, unwanted, fat, ugly, repulsive, unattractive, hopeless, useless, stupid etc etc. Well, those are exactly how I often feel. But I think a lot of people experience those.

Good luck And remember, you're not alone in this <3
Thanks, I was pretty close to cutting as well the other night, which is a bad thing when I'm in a room with 5-6 different knives..... it could've been bad. The thing is I DON'T feel any real emotions, I just feel like nothing... so everything just seems pointless and life has no point. the emotionless thing was going on for about 1-1/2 months then the suicidal thoughts for 4-5 days. Then... well Today I just felt the same, not as bad but... suicidal.... I think I should probably see someone about this.... but I don't know who.
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Old November 1st, 2008, 04:08 PM   #11
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Hey, loss of empathy is not that uncommon. Can you tell us why you feel like you cant trust your school support? do you not have a super close friend you can trust?
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Old November 1st, 2008, 05:15 PM   #12
NightHawksr71
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Quote:
Originally Posted by zoig View Post
Hey, loss of empathy is not that uncommon. Can you tell us why you feel like you cant trust your school support? do you not have a super close friend you can trust?
I can't trust the school counselor mostly because my sister had a run in with her, someone threatened her at home with a knife and she told the counselor, and the counselor took the side of the other person(she had some big issues thinking there where aliens talking to her) but she just ignored my sister, and even said to everyone at school that she was making it up and stuff like that she had a breakdown because of it, I do have a super close friend, but he has aspergers(no offense to the people with it) which means what I tell him would not go any further, but atm I think it needs to..... I just don't know, thanks though

:/ </long post>
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Old November 2nd, 2008, 02:03 AM   #13
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Yay for gutlessness went to my friends house, planning on telling him about it. But I didn't which.... just made things worse.

Might have to talk to a doctor or something, the minute I tell him about the suicidal thoughts though he's obligated to tell my parents..... don't even know how I would go about seeing a doctor. or if I want to.
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Old November 2nd, 2008, 04:56 AM   #14
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

I hate counsillors! Or however you spell it.
They just sit there while you go on and on about your problems. They just sit there and do NOTHING
One of my school counsillors was actually pretty good, she helped me overcome a lot of things and she supported me. But then she left and now our school is stuck with crappy counsillors :/

I go to a psychiatrist very often but still, all they do is NOTHING. They just sit there and mumble "Hmm." to everything you tell them and then they talk to your parents about what you've told them and then they diagnose you with all these mental disorders. Gahhh I hate them :/

"I can't judge any of you. I have no malice against you and no ribbons for you. But I think that it is high time that you all start looking at yourselves, and judging the lie that you live in." ~ Charles Manson
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Old November 2nd, 2008, 05:24 AM   #15
NightHawksr71
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Not really helping But I can see what you mean about the counselors, they seem pretty useless to me, never been to a psychiatrist so I wouldn't know what they are like.
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Old November 3rd, 2008, 05:18 AM   #16
NightHawksr71
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Sorry for the double post.

Ok, well I'm definatly going to have to tell my parents about this, More accurately my mum as I'm pretty sure she can understand it better than my Dad, I don't want to talk to her face to face about it. anyone got some ideas about how I could tell her?

I just don't think I could talk to her face to face....
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Old November 3rd, 2008, 12:33 PM   #17
Avalikia
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

I highly recommend writing a letter. I've had to talk to my mom this way during several hard times in my life, and I can highly recommend it. It allows you to say everything you want to say without being interrupted, lets you be sure you're phrasing everything correctly, and is far less confrontational. If you want, you can even request for her to respond to the letter with a letter so there's no actually face to face talking involved at all.
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Old November 3rd, 2008, 07:31 PM   #18
NightHawksr71
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

thanks I'll try that, If I can't manage to do it though, anyone know how I would go about seeing a doctor? because If I can't tell I'm going to get someone else to, and a doctor could probably help me out with this as well as tell my parents.

thanks for the support so far guys.
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Old November 27th, 2008, 06:25 AM   #19
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Default Re: Help.... Please[rantish]

Well, I haven't told anyone this, but for a while probably just over a week, I was going to kill myself, I had planned a date and how I was going to do it... then in the last two or so days something changed, I just, didn't want to do it anymore.... I don't know why I suddenly didn't want to do it. But, for a while it made me feel better, knowing that it was only a matter of time before it all went away and everything didn't matter, just seemed really good....
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