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Old June 12th, 2008, 03:54 AM   #1
Mzor203
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Default Raising Self Confidence

As many of you have seen, I have a post about my paranoia/anxiety-ish thing...

I spoke to my mom about it earlier, and it seems anxiety runs in the family. She thinks what I should do is try to overcome the issue instead of just getting help.

She thinks where this stems from is my self confidence... which I have little of. So what I need are ideas to help get my self confidence up in my life. It would help me in a lot of ways.

P.S. if this goes somewhere else, move it.
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Old June 12th, 2008, 04:02 AM   #2
Nihilus
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Go out and go to the movies with friends. Do good in school and ya. stuff like that.

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me."
―The Code of the Sith
Darth Nihilus, Lord of Hunger
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Old June 12th, 2008, 04:06 AM   #3
Mzor203
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Do good in school? When I was in school I had the highest marks in the entire school, so yer... got that covered... I'm homeschooled now though.

What I mean are things that will really get my confidence up, make it so I can walk by a stranger without freaking, etc. Arctic Fox suggested take a martial art a while ago, and it would be a good idea if I had more time, but yeah. That kind of thing.
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Old June 12th, 2008, 04:15 AM   #4
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Martial arts are good but any regular physical activity like yoga will raise you self confidance in certain areas of your life. What do you need more confidance in? social, physical, or any other?

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me."
―The Code of the Sith
Darth Nihilus, Lord of Hunger
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Old June 12th, 2008, 04:29 AM   #5
Mzor203
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Just all-around self confidence... I don't know really... I guess my being small probably has something to do with it.
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Old June 12th, 2008, 04:31 AM   #6
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

okay go out and meet new people, join a sports team, do stuff like that. Remember size never matters. Doing that stuff will help

"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me."
―The Code of the Sith
Darth Nihilus, Lord of Hunger
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Old June 12th, 2008, 06:12 AM   #7
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Right now your small both physically and mentally.

Yeah I think martial arts is a good idea, just knowing you are able to defend yourself if needed really helps you be more confident and less ''scared''

I also have diagnosed anxiety so heed my advice!

Find the time for the martial arts thing..

Also if there is something about yourself that bothers you, makes you feel like crap.. Deal with it thats basically all I can say since I'm not you.

If there isn't anything like that just start off with the martial arts thing, gaining confidence back takes awhile, it can take years.

And yes going around places with friends as often as possible is also a good thing.. Bleh hit me up in PM if you want to talk more.

I'm tough, rough, ready and able
To pick myself up from under this table
Don't stick no sign on me, I got no label
I'm a little sick, unsure, unsound and unstable

But I'm fighting my way back
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Old June 12th, 2008, 04:45 PM   #8
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Find ways to be more confident around people by being around people more. If you go out with friends to like a mall or something, you'll be around strangers and people you know, so you shouldn't feel too uncomfortable. If you spend more time in public with people, you should gain some confidence around people. Also, as stated, martial arts is a good thing. I've never tried it, but I'm sure it would be very beneficial if you found the time for it. You can talk to me anytime on MSN if you want to talk more.
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Old June 12th, 2008, 09:19 PM   #9
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

First, you keep mentioning your height. What is it, if I might ask?

Second, everyone has anxiety, it's a normal emotion. It's only a problem if it actually holds you back. Feeling it, experiencing it, having it isn't the problem. It's what you do with it that determines if it's problematic.

OK. The way you gain self confidence is to go out in the world and be with people. It's thru interactions with others that you gain a sense of yourself and who you are, which feeds self confidence. If you're home schooled, you need to make extra efforts to be around people, get out more, and be with them in various situations over time.

This issue with your height needs to be addressed, too, otherwise it will be the albatross around your neck. You are who you are, and when it comes to physical attributes, there isn't much you can do, you know. They're biologically determined, and you can't change your biology. But, you can change how you feel by getting new info from new sources about who you are inside. As I've said to you elsewhere, it's depth that matters so much more than stature.
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Old June 12th, 2008, 09:34 PM   #10
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

I'm 5' at 15...and very skinny. I only weigh 80-85 pounds on good days (It's very random).

It's just that I feel scared sometimes when people much bigger than me are around me... so yeah.

And I do get out lot... so much that I can barely keep up with it and am dropping a bunch of stuff next year, so yeah. I dunno.

I'm hopeless, I know.
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Old June 12th, 2008, 10:01 PM   #11
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

I don't think you're hopeless at all.

Eventhough you might be overscheduled, you still might not be in the types of activities that will provide opportunites to maximize self confidence. Think about a few activites where you know you excell, where you have talent and are a leader, and schedule them in.

You're not looking to be busy, you're looking to be recognized.

And 5' isn't THAT short at 15, you have some growing time yet. How tall is your dad?
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Old June 12th, 2008, 10:22 PM   #12
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Can't remember exactly how tall my dad was... him and my mom were both shorter. I've been stuck at this height and weight for like a year, maybe I've grown a bit, but not much, and the doctor claims I will grow, but yea...

I love music.

I excel at music.

Every single one of my activities is music related.


Yep...
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Old June 13th, 2008, 12:11 AM   #13
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

No offense, Rex, but I honestly can't see how a musician can have low self confidence. Oh, wait, I'm just like you. I don't know what I'm getting at, but I'm guessing you are pretty confident in your music, right? Now, I'm pretty much the same as you, but maybe we could try taking some of the confidence we have in music and applying it to everyday life. Just a thought, which I should probably apply to my own life.
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Old June 13th, 2008, 01:09 AM   #14
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

I was confident with my music before... but now I can't perform in front of people without shaking.
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Old June 13th, 2008, 01:38 AM   #15
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Maybe you're just thinking too much. I know that when I think about stuff too much, I tend to be more nervous about it. If you just let thins happen without thinking about them, maybe you'll gain confidence. I'm sorry, I'm kind of running out of ideas. You're size is obviously a huge factor in this, but like Sam said, there's nothing you can do to change that. You've just got to live with that, but you still have a few more years to grow. I also think that getting out of your comfort zone more will help increase your confidence.
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Old June 13th, 2008, 09:52 AM   #16
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Rex, why do you talk about your dad in the past tense?

Also, being a musician myself (which we've discussed), I think we both know what a demanding mistress that can be. However, your musical abilities only get better with time and practice, so your performance anxiety isn't related to a skills deficit. It's that other stuff gettingin the way, and it's so powerful and so nasty that it actually interferes with something you're good at and enjoy. This might mean that it's time to find a doc to talk with, it might be bigger than 'just getting out there'.

Also, as an aside, eventhough most of your activities are music related, there are still people there you can connect with and do other things with. Sharing a common interest/passion is a great way to connect and make new friends.
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Old June 13th, 2008, 05:14 PM   #17
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^ ^ Exactly. People sharing a passion in something, usually connect easily with each other. You maybe should go see a doctor about it though. You could have an anxiety disorder that could be helped with medication.
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Old June 13th, 2008, 05:17 PM   #18
Mzor203
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

My mom doesn't think it's any disorder, so she's not going to pay any extra money to get it checked out, and I'm not going to be able to get her to.

I'm confused now. Why people keep suggesting I do things I'm passionate about, go to activities, etc. when I do. You have even acknowledged it. MUSIC!

Oh, and I talk about my dad in the past tense because he's barely par of my life right now... he and my mom split up. There have times when I haven't seen him for 3 year periods, so yeah, dunno why I do, just kind of happens.
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Old June 13th, 2008, 06:01 PM   #19
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rex View Post
My mom doesn't think it's any disorder, so she's not going to pay any extra money to get it checked out, and I'm not going to be able to get her to.

I'm confused now. Why people keep suggesting I do things I'm passionate about, go to activities, etc. when I do. You have even acknowledged it. MUSIC!

Oh, and I talk about my dad in the past tense because he's barely par of my life right now... he and my mom split up. There have times when I haven't seen him for 3 year periods, so yeah, dunno why I do, just kind of happens.
Well then your mom doesn't know cod about it.. Convince her and go check it out, I wouldn't be suprised if you were in the category to receive meds.. I know I am, can't say if they're going to help me yet my damn appintment is on the 30th earliest..

Anyway find a way to see someone good. Medication as I've heard can really help deal with it.

I'm tough, rough, ready and able
To pick myself up from under this table
Don't stick no sign on me, I got no label
I'm a little sick, unsure, unsound and unstable

But I'm fighting my way back
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Old June 13th, 2008, 06:19 PM   #20
Mzor203
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Default Re: Raising Self Confidence

The fact of the matter is that I just can't... If I try convincing her she'll get mad at me.It's just something she thinks I need to overcome. It sucks... and I couldn't get an apointment without her knowing, when things are starting to get hectic and we're get ready for vacation soon.
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