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Old August 11th, 2015, 08:12 AM   #1
RJF_
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So I'm 13, and when people meet me most think I'm gay, I'm honestly not, I always seem to get on better with girls though and I think that's a reason although it isn't the full reason. It seems to put girls off going out with me and I feel like everyone assumes I'm gay. I've asked a few peopIe why they think that and they say it's because I'm always well put together and have a more posh accent than others. I just want to know how to act more manly? If that makes sense, thanks in advance.
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Old August 11th, 2015, 08:21 AM   #2
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Don't change yourself just because people are judging you. They will probably still think the same thing, honestly. You are only thirteen and most people your age are immature as hell and by the time you get older people will learn not to be so pathetic.


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Old August 11th, 2015, 08:27 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Abhorrence View Post
Don't change yourself just because people are judging you. They will probably still think the same thing, honestly. You are only thirteen and most people your age are immature as hell and by the time you get older people will learn not to be so pathetic.
Thank you, it's just I can't even get a girlfriend because of their assumption, I know I shouldn't be so upset about that cause I'm 13 but in the UK it's like unbelievably important. Thank you again.
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Old August 11th, 2015, 08:34 AM   #4
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Has your voice broken yet ?
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Old August 11th, 2015, 08:36 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by RJF_ View Post
Thank you, it's just I can't even get a girlfriend because of their assumption, I know I shouldn't be so upset about that cause I'm 13 but in the UK it's like unbelievably important. Thank you again.
I'm in the UK also and I understand, I'm gay but at thirteen I think everyone wanted a girlfriend. But, I honestly advise you to focus on school man. This sounds so stupid to you, probably, but school is extremely important and slacking is not a good thing to do. Focus on your true friends and school and just allow people to grow up. [emoji14]


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Old August 11th, 2015, 08:53 AM   #6
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Has your voice broken yet ?
Yeah mostly still breaking though.

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I'm in the UK also and I understand, I'm gay but at thirteen I think everyone wanted a girlfriend. But, I honestly advise you to focus on school man. This sounds so stupid to you, probably, but school is extremely important and slacking is not a good thing to do. Focus on your true friends and school and just allow people to grow up. [emoji14]
Thank you, yeah I completely understand, will do, thank you again.

Double posts merged. - Abhorrence.

Last edited by Abhorrence; August 11th, 2015 at 09:06 AM.
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Old August 11th, 2015, 08:57 AM   #7
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Yeah mostly still breaking though.
Wait till its fully broke
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Old August 11th, 2015, 09:01 AM   #8
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piece of advice. Fuck them idiots. Let them think whatever they want. They have already got their opinions about you carved in stone, and they won't change, doesn't matter how hard you try. And you're 13! Just wait 2-4 years, and those morons will get mature enough, and that crap will stop!

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Old August 11th, 2015, 01:30 PM   #9
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No worries I've been treated the same way and I'm not gay either. I personally just didnt really care what they thought of me.

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Old August 11th, 2015, 02:23 PM   #10
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Well don't change yourself or anything. Just try and hang out with guys more.
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Old August 11th, 2015, 02:23 PM   #11
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I'd say just ignore them

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Old August 11th, 2015, 03:12 PM   #12
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I have been treated similarly. I am 14 (15 in November), and over time it gets better. The ones that make fun of you will see how good of a relationship, even if it's just friendship, with the ladies, and begin to applaud you. Well in my case that's what happened. I think at 13, all the hormones can cause some people to be very judgmental. I remember in the 6th/7th grade being called "gay", "homo", and "queer" for being just friends with girls. But I can say it gets better and now some of the guys say I have "pull game" haha. (That means you manage to have many ladies by your side, or something of the sort; think Pitbull) I simply told them I was not gay whenever they asked me if I was, and ignored there remarks and comments.

Stay focused on your self and your real friends, and trust me it gets better.

FWIW: I was also on the Cheer team (Mascot) and I guess I got cool points because many saw it as my way of getting to watch them (the girls in their short shorts and sometimes sports bras practice (It actually wasn't, I just had some free time and wanted to try it out. However a few glances here and there did no harm )

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Old August 11th, 2015, 05:07 PM   #13
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I have been treated similarly. I am 14 (15 in November), and over time it gets better. The ones that make fun of you will see how good of a relationship, even if it's just friendship, with the ladies, and begin to applaud you. Well in my case that's what happened. I think at 13, all the hormones can cause some people to be very judgmental. I remember in the 6th/7th grade being called "gay", "homo", and "queer" for being just friends with girls. But I can say it gets better and now some of the guys say I have "pull game" haha. (That means you manage to have many ladies by your side, or something of the sort; think Pitbull) I simply told them I was not gay whenever they asked me if I was, and ignored there remarks and comments.

Stay focused on your self and your real friends, and trust me it gets better.

FWIW: I was also on the Cheer team (Mascot) and I guess I got cool points because many saw it as my way of getting to watch them (the girls in their short shorts and sometimes sports bras practice (It actually wasn't, I just had some free time and wanted to try it out. However a few glances here and there did no harm )
I'm also dealing with this situation as according to some "I exhibit a gay vibe" and I'm not gay.I've realized that I went through a phase of being curious about guys but with a lot of contemplating I figured out that I'm straight.I would never ever date a guy or initiate anything sexual with one.I only like girls romantically and sexually and some people just don't understand that and make rude judgements based on their own ignorance and jealousy.These words are so helpful,encouraging and inspirational to me and I hope they are to you.Thanks so much for replying with this!
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Old August 11th, 2015, 11:35 PM   #14
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When I am thirteen, I think of school, fun and choirs. Having gf at thirteen are not manly. It just mess up. Be who you are and btw what wrong with gay. You are yourself don't let other judge you. Have fun and be comfortable. Your friends basically are giving u peer pressure.

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Old August 12th, 2015, 06:39 AM   #15
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Thank you very much to you all, I appreciate all of your replies and take on board all of the points, does anyone know how I should respond to being called gay or bring asked if I'm gay? Thank you!
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Old August 12th, 2015, 10:08 AM   #16
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Thank you very much to you all, I appreciate all of your replies and take on board all of the points, does anyone know how I should respond to being called gay or bring asked if I'm gay? Thank you!
When I was asked I simply said "no" and "no I am not" If they keep asking just ignore them because they're most likely teasing you.

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Old August 12th, 2015, 12:18 PM   #17
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Seriously just be yourself

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Old August 12th, 2015, 12:47 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by RJF_ View Post
So I'm 13, and when people meet me most think I'm gay, I'm honestly not, I always seem to get on better with girls though and I think that's a reason although it isn't the full reason. It seems to put girls off going out with me and I feel like everyone assumes I'm gay. I've asked a few peopIe why they think that and they say it's because I'm always well put together and have a more posh accent than others. I just want to know how to act more manly? If that makes sense, thanks in advance.
In all honesty, please don't worry about it, and don't change who you are because of others..

When I was 13 (and 14 as well, I suppose), I was in very much the same boat as you as everyone just assumed that I was gay because I was well-presented, was quite posh, got on better with girls, and danced as a hobby, even though I wasn't (and still am not).

When your voice breaks fully (I was about 14/15 when that happened) even though nothing else about your personality will have changed, you would be surprised as to just how quickly people's perceptions of you change; for me, the vast majority of people who had called me gay before stopped.

Now, most are quite envious that I get on better with girls than they do, and my accent, although still posh, no longer sounds as out of place with a deep voice.

The best advice I can give you is just to ignore them for the moment. There's nothing you can really do to become more 'manly', that just comes with age as you go through puberty and, like I said earlier, it's just simple, natural changes that actually cause the biggest shift in how people form their views of you, rather than changes you make yourself - embrace your personality!

Oh, and don't worry about not being able to get a girlfriend yet; by not having one, I realised that everyone else's 'relationships' when they were 13 didn't really mean much, and I'm finding out now that girls rather like a posh, well-kept boy

Good luck!

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Old August 12th, 2015, 03:15 PM   #19
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people are going to think what they are going to think and there is nothing you can do to change that. Changing who you are is never worth it, no matter who the person is, just always continue to be you because that is the only person you know how to be anyway. Let people think what they want, as long as YOU know the truth of who you are and what you are about, then nothing else matters.

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Old August 12th, 2015, 04:28 PM   #20
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I have the same problem man, except I'm bi, but I only recently "came out" when I was younger a lot of people thaught I was gay when at that time I didn't even know myself what I was. Don't let it bother you, they will get over it eventually

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