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Old May 18th, 2015, 11:50 PM   #1
JusticeandMercy
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Name: McKenna
Join Date: June 1, 2014
Location: Playing hide-and-seek in a symphony of freaks.
Age: 18
Gender: Gender Queer
Default I literally cannot imagine myself having any kind of future.

I usually try not to let this bother me too much because I try to just tell myself if I keep going then something has to happen, but right now it's kind of getting to me?
I can't imagine myself ever going to college or even finishing high school and yet I can't imagine myself just dropping out.
I can't imagine having any kind of job, even a shitty minimum wage job.
I legitimately feel like I'm just going to die before the end of senior year, and it probably wouldn't even be suicide; it would just be some accident. Maybe a car wreck. Ever since eighth grade I have felt like either myself or one of my siblings isn't going to make it to see us all in adulthood, and each day it feels just a little more like it's going to be me.
I know I should talk to someone about this but I am absolutely terrified of adults and when my parents tried to make me see a therapist I just shut down and I couldn't talk so they stopped taking me because they thought I was just intentionally giving her the silent treatment, and I also hate my parents trying to get involved in my life or trying to care about my grades or future.
I also am just so fucking scared of actually asking for help, even though I pretty much can't do anything on my own.

If anyone's going to ask me about any mental disorders I have, I've only ever been diagnosed with ADHD.



She/her/herself or ze/hir/hirself. Thanks!
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Old May 20th, 2015, 04:33 AM   #2
James Dean
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Default Re: I literally cannot imagine myself having any kind of future.

Have you came out to anyone or accepted and understood more, (this includes yourself), about your sexuality or gender identity/crisis.

That should be the first step. Have you done that?

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"You could stop at five or six stores, or just one."
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Old May 20th, 2015, 06:49 AM   #3
JusticeandMercy
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Name: McKenna
Join Date: June 1, 2014
Location: Playing hide-and-seek in a symphony of freaks.
Age: 18
Gender: Gender Queer
Default Re: I literally cannot imagine myself having any kind of future.

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dean View Post
Have you came out to anyone or accepted and understood more, (this includes yourself), about your sexuality or gender identity/crisis.

That should be the first step. Have you done that?
Yes, all of my friends know I'm bi and a lot of them know I'm non-binary; all of them seem fine with it and most of them are also LGBT+.



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