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Old February 8th, 2015, 08:25 AM   #1
amgb
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Default I'm worried.....

Yes I have been told to stop SH, but it's hard and it's not like someone says it and then I can just stop. It just doesn't work like that. It's hard. It's complicated. I can't stop. I don't want to stop and I feel like nobody understands that.

And I'm worried about the arm sleeves...it's been a while since I last wore arm sleeves and today when I wore them out it was horrible. I've been wearing long sleeve shirts for a while but lately I'm getting sick and tired of being hot all the time and arm sleeves just feels a little better. The problem is I noticed that some of the cuts I did recently are visible underneath. The arm sleeves I have now are a creamy white so that's why the cuts look blackish and I feel like it's so noticeable what if people start asking questions? What if they start thinking of me badly? And the fact that the arm sleeves look so obviously like bandages just draws more attention. I don't have any other colour other than creamy white. I just hate going out and having to hide everything. I hate hiding and I hate showing..

Sorry this was a bit of a rant..

Raise your words, not voice. It is {light} rain that grows flowers, not thunder. ― Jalaluddin Rumi
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Old February 8th, 2015, 08:50 AM   #2
amybah
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

Hello dear! I regret that 're going through that situation. However I understand a little this nightmare because, as you know, I'm SH too.
We try to hide, but then makes it extremely uncomfortable in hot weather .
My suggestion was that you tend to use maguiagem . However , if the open wound is not clear and is extremely painful. If there is only the scar , you can find on the Internet various techniques to disguise that will be explained to you. However, finding the products that are used is not always easy.
You can also use very thin sweaters own cotton for warm weather.
You know : if you need contact me ! kisses
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Old February 8th, 2015, 09:01 AM   #3
Dying Ember
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

Hey, I understand. I know its more than difficult to stop, it takes a very long time and I'm still on the journey of trying to recover. I know the feeling of not wanting to stop, so you're not alone there. I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice on covering your arms... Maybe a light weight shirt or something? If its a darker colour then nobody should be able to see them. And remember, although it may feel as if people notice, the likelihood is that they aren't even going to be looking in that direction anyway. Even if they do notice, try to ignore them because at the end of the day, if they're judging you then they're not worth it anyway.
Sorry this is kind of crap advice, but anyway, I know you cam get through this. Its a lot of work and its going to take a long time, but I know you can recover. Stay strong <3

~Dying Ember
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Old February 8th, 2015, 11:30 PM   #4
amgb
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

@amybah @Dying Ember Thank you to you both for your replies, I really appreciate the help and advice, so thank you~~

Raise your words, not voice. It is {light} rain that grows flowers, not thunder. ― Jalaluddin Rumi
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Old February 9th, 2015, 02:44 PM   #5
SethfromMI
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

have you tired seeing a counselor about the cutting? someone who is trained in working with individuals who struggle like you do?

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Old February 9th, 2015, 03:22 PM   #6
amgb
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by SethfromMI View Post
have you tired seeing a counselor about the cutting? someone who is trained in working with individuals who struggle like you do?
I did see a counsellor at my old school, but we never talked about SH because I didn't want her to know about it :/

Raise your words, not voice. It is {light} rain that grows flowers, not thunder. ― Jalaluddin Rumi
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Old February 9th, 2015, 03:49 PM   #7
Dying Ember
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedSalt View Post
I did see a counsellor at my old school, but we never talked about SH because I didn't want her to know about it :/
is there someone who you would be able to speak to now?
does anybody know about your self harm?

~Dying Ember
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Old February 9th, 2015, 04:20 PM   #8
amgb
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dying Ember View Post
is there someone who you would be able to speak to now?
does anybody know about your self harm?
Quite a lot of people know about it but either don't understand it or they ignore it because they think it just 'goes away' which pisses me off. It's not a phase. It helps. They don't think it does but in a stupid and crazy way it does help. I do have people I can talk to I just choose not to. Even talking about things on VT is hard, but definitely much easier than face to face talking because I know others are struggling here too and can understand a lot..

Raise your words, not voice. It is {light} rain that grows flowers, not thunder. ― Jalaluddin Rumi
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Old February 9th, 2015, 04:58 PM   #9
Dying Ember
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by RedSalt View Post
Quite a lot of people know about it but either don't understand it or they ignore it because they think it just 'goes away' which pisses me off. It's not a phase. It helps. They don't think it does but in a stupid and crazy way it does help. I do have people I can talk to I just choose not to. Even talking about things on VT is hard, but definitely much easier than face to face talking because I know others are struggling here too and can understand a lot..
Yeah, i understand how hard it is to talk about it to people. It took me a year to work up the courage to go to my school nurse about it. Talking to my parents is impossible, as much as i would like to be able to talk about it its certainly not anywhere near easy.
It sucks how a lot of people don't understand what its like, but you just need to ignore their opinions and find people who are undersatnding and patient. how about friends? Do you have any that know or are supporting?

~Dying Ember
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Old February 9th, 2015, 05:09 PM   #10
Freshwound
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

i SH too and i just want to hurt my parents' feeling. i want them to regret that they screamed at me and claiming they were trying to protect me. i want them to feel hurt by all the wounds i have. i hate them when they said that they love me. why did they even give me live?
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Old February 9th, 2015, 11:09 PM   #11
amgb
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dying Ember View Post
Yeah, i understand how hard it is to talk about it to people. It took me a year to work up the courage to go to my school nurse about it. Talking to my parents is impossible, as much as i would like to be able to talk about it its certainly not anywhere near easy.
It sucks how a lot of people don't understand what its like, but you just need to ignore their opinions and find people who are undersatnding and patient. how about friends? Do you have any that know or are supporting?
Thank you : ) It's brave of you to be able to talk to your school nurse and I know sometimes parents just don't understand. I do have a couple of friends who are supportive though.

Raise your words, not voice. It is {light} rain that grows flowers, not thunder. ― Jalaluddin Rumi
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Old March 11th, 2015, 12:32 PM   #12
ChaosEarthquake
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

Personally, some counseling sessions get on my nerves, and make me so fucking angry, but other times it helps.

When you have SH thoughts, try doing something you do/used to enjoy.
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Old March 11th, 2015, 02:10 PM   #13
Abhorrence
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

I was wearing long sleeves from late 2012 until Summer 2014. I can tell you it felt like such a relief to stop wearing the long sleeves but then I started cutting again so I haven't worn short sleeves in public for a while but then again it is winter. My scars are fading again and I hope by summer I can wear short sleeves again. I understand your pain when you say you're sick of being hot. I used to wear long-sleeved hoodies all summer, people were always like "wow are you not hot?" and I was just like "lol no."


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Old March 11th, 2015, 06:26 PM   #14
ChaosEarthquake
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonlightDemons View Post
I was wearing long sleeves from late 2012 until Summer 2014. I can tell you it felt like such a relief to stop wearing the long sleeves but then I started cutting again so I haven't worn short sleeves in public for a while but then again it is winter. My scars are fading again and I hope by summer I can wear short sleeves again. I understand your pain when you say you're sick of being hot. I used to wear long-sleeved hoodies all summer, people were always like "wow are you not hot?" and I was just like "lol no."
Ikr, wearing long sleeves in the summer is THE WORST.
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Old March 19th, 2015, 12:06 PM   #15
Fiction
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Default Re: I'm worried.....

I was so lucky in that when I stopped I had someone there with me to talk to constantly and mentor me, without that I wouldn't have done it. But those people are hard to come across and stopping isn't easy, in fact the first time I tried to stop alone the pressure got so much that I attempted suicide and ended up in hospital. Do you have a friend or someone that can help you, and really be supportive? You can always PM me if you like.

I remember getting the reputation as the girl that was always cold, when in reality I was just covering my arms constantly. I can assure you it is such a weight off your mind when you can wear short sleeves again. Taking the first step to stop cutting is huge and something you should be proud of, but it's not something you can do alone and you will need support. Whether that's from friends, parents or a counsellor. Although if you do get a counsellor don't be afraid to request a different one if you're not getting on with them.

You brought hate, pills and knives,
And this is how the tale begins.
Its your life, exist and wonder why.
When it only fails to work,
It only fails to work sometimes
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