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Old November 14th, 2014, 01:24 PM   #1
Lucky.
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Default Conflicted between two countries.

Hi, my name is Enzo, and I am french/american, it may seem like a detail, but it's pretty much the entire point of me making this thread
I actually live in France, and was born there. Every summer, i go to america and visit my family, and, since a few years, i have been wondering about why am I not over there.
I need to explain something before I explain my reason to be here : You may not know France, or french people, and so I will describe it too you quickly. I am not your particular popular kid, just a usual person. I am a student in highschool, or well the equivalent. And for a few years now, my feelings towards french people are just getting worse and worse. In america you do have bullies do you ? People who would be mean to kids, even hit them. Now in France, everybody would be mean. And you would just need to deal with it. Friends would not made to share emotions, just to talk and have fun. And their "fun" would be something completely different to me. I have never had the feeling i was "french", but "american". And i have changed my personality to try to resort to that problem, and i failed twice.
The one time i shared my emotions to "my best friend", that i had so much trouble with people, and that i was almost suicidal, she told me just to go see a therapist, and just blew it off, like nothing every happened. Needless to say i did not talk to her anymore, and that day was a hard one.
Now since a few days, i am just sad. Even if it has been a good 3 years i haven't felt happy, or needed ( except my family of course ), it is just getting worse. And know I am just thinking to tell my parents the truth, and talk about moving to the States.
Now here is my question : Should i talk about it, moving to America ? Or am i just delusional about the perfect place with nice people ? People are really special in my country, and I know i am the problem, but i don't know if i should try to solve it .
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Old November 14th, 2014, 01:32 PM   #2
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

Not to stereotype, but I've had pretty much a close experience when I lived in Germany. Being a foreigner, everyone bullied, and complaining to any authority did batshit for me. I ended up not going to school (or talking to anyone) for almost two years while there. In my personal experience, Brazilian people > American people > German people.

Moving to another country is a real big thing, and isn't easy at all. Are there any schools for foreigners there? Maybe people are cooler there.

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Old November 14th, 2014, 01:36 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Typhlosion View Post

Moving to another country is a real big thing, and isn't easy at all. Are there any schools for foreigners there? Maybe people are cooler there.
I am actually in a international section where english is taught in a deeper level and where we have a few foreign students. There are a little better than the people before, but are still pretty much the same. I find german people to tend to be nicer depend where you are, i have a few people i talk to in germany ( go figure the only people i like a foreign ) and they are pretty nice.
I know moving is a big thing, but if it can make my highschool years into something i WANT to remember, i would do it.
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Old November 14th, 2014, 02:19 PM   #4
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

I guess you should at least talk about it -

about your friend well ex friend saying see a therapist ok but please realise it can be just as difficult for people to cope with or understand problems others have -
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Old November 14th, 2014, 02:50 PM   #5
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

I'm going to be totally honest, the US sucks. Like some areas are better than others, but generally people are shitty, the number of laws we've had to pass because of bullying issues in insane, we have a really high suicide rate because of bullying. People are usually totally against foreigners (ironic considering we all were them at one point), and we feel like the french hate us for turning the language of international trade to english and a whole bunch of other stuff, so it'll be really hard for you here too. No where is all that easy. Wait out high school and id you are still inclined to come here do so for college, everyone is all mixed up at that point anyway so it may be slightly easier

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Old November 14th, 2014, 03:57 PM   #6
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I'm going to be totally honest, the US sucks. Like some areas are better than others, but generally people are shitty, the number of laws we've had to pass because of bullying issues in insane, we have a really high suicide rate because of bullying. People are usually totally against foreigners (ironic considering we all were them at one point), and we feel like the french hate us for turning the language of international trade to english and a whole bunch of other stuff, so it'll be really hard for you here too. No where is all that easy. Wait out high school and id you are still inclined to come here do so for college, everyone is all mixed up at that point anyway so it may be slightly easier
Staying three years will be so difficult. And the problem is, I am starting to need more and more american culture. But surely, not everybody in the US are dicks ( quoting the others who responded ), there must be nice people in america ! If i can't grow up in a american school, at least i would like to talk to some people who are. Do you guys might have a good "pen-pal" site or whatever it is called ?
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Old November 14th, 2014, 03:59 PM   #7
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Staying three years will be so difficult. And the problem is, I am starting to need more and more american culture. But surely, not everybody in the US are dicks ( quoting the others who responded ), there must be nice people in america ! If i can't grow up in a american school, at least i would like to talk to some people who are. Do you guys might have a good "pen-pal" site or whatever it is called ?
I mean we aren't all dicks, I pride myself on not being a horrible person, but just realize it isn't all gumdrops and roads of gold. As for penpals I don't quite know of one, but there are plenty of americans on here you can talk to.

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Old November 14th, 2014, 04:09 PM   #8
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

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but just realize it isn't all gumdrops and roads of gold.
I might have wrongly explained myself, i did not thing about America being a perfect country, on the contrary. But when you said you had issues with bullying, and suicide, these were just "cases". What i meant to say was that in France, you would find everybody to be mean and direct, and, in america, i heard it was only certain people who were like that, and the rest were decent human beings.
I just discovered this site, and god it is amazing, it seems a very good way for a lot of people to recover from problems.
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Old November 14th, 2014, 04:11 PM   #9
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

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I just discovered this site, and god it is amazing, it seems a very good way for a lot of people to recover from problems.
Well I'm glad you found this site, it's definitely a life saver, and people here are decent, it's just there are a lot of shitty people considering the sheer size of the country

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Old November 14th, 2014, 04:16 PM   #10
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

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Originally Posted by queenofcontrariety View Post
Well I'm glad you found this site, it's definitely a life saver, and people here are decent, it's just there are a lot of shitty people considering the sheer size of the country
Well thanks, guess I will find some nice people to talk too on this site. It was a decision i was thinking with my emotions, and did not really think about the real facts, good thing i got that cleared out.
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Old November 14th, 2014, 04:23 PM   #11
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

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Originally Posted by Lucky. View Post
Well thanks, guess I will find some nice people to talk too on this site. It was a decision i was thinking with my emotions, and did not really think about the real facts, good thing i got that cleared out.
I guess there must be several ways to get to spend some time in the USA if not school - then college or even uni.

Follow your dream -
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Old November 14th, 2014, 04:42 PM   #12
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I guess there must be several ways to get to spend some time in the USA if not school - then college or even uni.

Follow your dream -
When i am there in the summer, but i need to find some people, i don't have many cousins of my age to hang out with, and the town I stay most of the time there is only old people so i am kinda stuck haha
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Old November 14th, 2014, 04:51 PM   #13
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NOOOO you are only as stuck as you think you are!! when you are there for a longer time you will soon meet others.
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Old November 14th, 2014, 05:16 PM   #14
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NOOOO you are only as stuck as you think you are!! when you are there for a longer time you will soon meet others.
Well i stay there for 6 weeks. Guess next summer i really need to find some people ^^
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Old November 15th, 2014, 01:57 PM   #15
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

Every country has bad people, there are no perfect societies. Some do more than the others. What matters is not who surrounds you, but who you surround yourself with. Honestly, I've never heard anything good about people in Europe, only bad things really, and my personal experiences were the same (I live in Europe too so don't hate).

I say pursue your dream, move to the US. It's alot easier to find friends there, plus there is more thing to do, places to go. I will be moving to the US myself in the next couple of years. I would also advice not to choose some small town where only old people live. Choose New York, LA or other major city.

However, as you are not an adult yet, you will have to talk to your parent about this. Moving is hard, especially for the family and especially to the US. Check if your parents are eligible for visa and, most importantly, ask them whether or not they are ready to make such a big step. This would mean a new home, job etc.

Good luck, whatever you do
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Old November 15th, 2014, 02:00 PM   #16
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

if I had a choice between the two I'd pick France for sure. but that's just me of course.

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Old November 15th, 2014, 05:51 PM   #17
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Default Re: Conflicted between two countries.

France is experiencing a lot of political difficulties isn't it?

A growing immigration problem and as a result the emergence of the far right.
There is already some civil unrest and I think it's going to get a lot worse.
The French seem to have more balls than the Americans or the English and I think if there's going to be a European Spring it will start in France.

As for the US it's descending in to a crap hole and the people are doing nothing about it.
There too busy getting fat!

I would say come to the UK but there's going to be some serious problems here soon.

I'm sorry to be so pessimistic but I think if there is going to be a lot of civil unrest in the world you would be better off in your own country.
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Old November 17th, 2014, 03:05 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Atom View Post
Every country has bad people, there are no perfect societies. Some do more than the others. What matters is not who surrounds you, but who you surround yourself with. Honestly, I've never heard anything good about people in Europe, only bad things really, and my personal experiences were the same (I live in Europe too so don't hate).

I say pursue your dream, move to the US. It's alot easier to find friends there, plus there is more thing to do, places to go. I will be moving to the US myself in the next couple of years. I would also advice not to choose some small town where only old people live. Choose New York, LA or other major city.

However, as you are not an adult yet, you will have to talk to your parent about this. Moving is hard, especially for the family and especially to the US. Check if your parents are eligible for visa and, most importantly, ask them whether or not they are ready to make such a big step. This would mean a new home, job etc.

Good luck, whatever you do
The problem is for what i have seen, Americans say that it is has horrible, and europeans find it better. There is a problem of point of view. Living in europe, you must understand how it is, but I and maybe you too, dont know how it is in america. Guess i will need to find out sooner or later if it is as good/bad as said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abbeys View Post
France is experiencing a lot of political difficulties isn't it?

A growing immigration problem and as a result the emergence of the far right.
There is already some civil unrest and I think it's going to get a lot worse.
The French seem to have more balls than the Americans or the English and I think if there's going to be a European Spring it will start in France.

As for the US it's descending in to a crap hole and the people are doing nothing about it.
There too busy getting fat!

I would say come to the UK but there's going to be some serious problems here soon.

I'm sorry to be so pessimistic but I think if there is going to be a lot of civil unrest in the world you would be better off in your own country.
Indeed, France is right now in a terrible position economically, but that's just a cycle, and it will get better someday. UK is a good place for what i know to live, and I always felt like it not being " a part " of Europe.

Posts merged, next time please use the edit or multiquote button. ~Hannah

Last edited by Luminous; November 18th, 2014 at 11:25 AM. Reason: merging
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