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Old November 3rd, 2014, 12:06 PM   #1
Renata_cmp
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Default My friend is suicidal and i don't know how to help him

Hi everyone.
Yesterday i heard that my friend tried to kill himself again. His mom rushed into his room to find him with a handful of pills, he's in the hospital now. It's not the first time since i met him, and i don't know what to do anymore.

He's fighting against bulimia since he was 12, he's overweight and it's destroying all of his confidence. He never had a girlfriend, and is firmly convinced he will never find one, because he's "fat".

I keep telling him, i mean hours after hours i tell him it doesn't matter, that not everyone think that big people are ugly, but he doesn't believe i say, and yeah, he got rejected all the times, when i'm hanging with friend and he shows up all my friends (guys and girls) will start to make fun of him, telling him 'fat' and 'lazy' right after he leaves (and sometimes when he's still there)...
Although i know it's not true, i know he had a hard life, he's constantly fighting against his eating disorders while trying to lose weight, he's a really nice, smart and open-minded person, but he only sees the 'fat' in himself, because it's that everyone seems to see at first glance and will never let him enough time to show them the rest of him...

Now i know im going to see him at the hospital, i know im gonna tell him again that it's not true that everyone think he's ugly and lazy, but since it's really what people seems to think about him i understand why he's so depressed...
I don't know what to do, i would love to see him finally get over his bulimia, like that maybe i he looks "skinnier" people will let him a chance to see what a great person he is befoe assuming he's a disgusting lazy guy... what can i do to help him??
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Old November 3rd, 2014, 02:48 PM   #2
Dark_Desires
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know hom to help him

Honestly i don't think you will be able to convince to put it bluntly and
it doesn't help people bulling him maybe try to stand up for him?.
I mean kind of friends would bully someone like that?.

The best thing you can do is be there for him and let him know you are there for him anytime he needs you or needs to talk or vent.

Maybe try small and subtle ways of building his confidence in himself
or improving how he sees himself.That's about all i can suggest i hope something helps and Best of Luck.
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Old November 3rd, 2014, 03:37 PM   #3
Renata_cmp
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know hom to help him

yeah i got mad a those "friends", and they kept saying they were just joking, and maybe it's true cause they don't know how much harm it can cause but anyway. I though of something, since he's got a low self-esteem, he don't usually take good care of his appearance, i mean he don't have an haircut, he dresses in nothing but sweat-shirts to hide his body... maybe, even if it's quite trivial i could go 'shopping' with him to find new stuff to put on. Maybe it's stupid but im sure you feel, even a little better about yourself when you're wearing clothes you like and suits you... Dunno maybe it's dumb but i can't think of anything right now besides all the things i did before.
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Old November 4th, 2014, 04:11 AM   #4
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know hom to help him

Quote:
Originally Posted by Renata_cmp View Post
yeah i got mad a those "friends", and they kept saying they were just joking, and maybe it's true cause they don't know how much harm it can cause but anyway. I though of something, since he's got a low self-esteem, he don't usually take good care of his appearance, i mean he don't have an haircut, he dresses in nothing but sweat-shirts to hide his body... maybe, even if it's quite trivial i could go 'shopping' with him to find new stuff to put on. Maybe it's stupid but im sure you feel, even a little better about yourself when you're wearing clothes you like and suits you... Dunno maybe it's dumb but i can't think of anything right now besides all the things i did before.
That is a brilliant idea i know for me new clothes and a nice Hair cut has helped me a lot and with my self confidence a bit,
It can't hurt to try and you have nothing to lose so go for it.

Its not joking its something a Bully says not feel about what there doing
i did it to a friend without realizing it until he told me and then i realized.

I hope the idea works and it helps him out, Best of Luck

Last edited by Dark_Desires; November 4th, 2014 at 04:15 AM.
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Old November 4th, 2014, 04:45 AM   #5
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know how to help him

Just be his support system. That's helping right there. Usually suicidal people feel alone, by offering him help even though he might not show or acknowledge it, he does appreciate it and care it. He is getting the proper help that he needs right now so that's great. I agree with you probably cheering him up with an outing or something. Go out and do something fun, I'm sure that he will love it. Hopefully he is able to fight his depression and his suicidal thoughts. You are being a good friend just standing their with him while he is going through all of these struggles. Don't lose hope with him, that is the main thing. I want all of you to take care.

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Old November 4th, 2014, 04:09 PM   #6
Renata_cmp
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know how to help him

Im not gonna lose hope with him, sometimes im afraid this world is just too mean for him... People don't even realise they reject others and make their life a living hell just because they don't look "that way"... I can't tell you the amount of people i've met that thinks fat people are less than human beings... He's not even obese, just chubby. What a crock of bull. Anyway, i'll see him tomorow.
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Old November 4th, 2014, 04:19 PM   #7
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know how to help him

Quote:
Originally Posted by Renata_cmp View Post
Im not gonna lose hope with him, sometimes im afraid this world is just too mean for him... People don't even realise they reject others and make their life a living hell just because they don't look "that way"... I can't tell you the amount of people i've met that thinks fat people are less than human beings... He's not even obese, just chubby. What a crock of bull. Anyway, i'll see him tomorow.
The fact that you're there for him should mean a lot. Listening to him, being kind all makes a huge difference. I hope that this is a wake up call for him, as sometimes people do have to hit rock bottom before getting better and that this may get him some professional help that he may need. I hope his mum realises he will need friends like you. Hopefully your other friends will now rally round and be more supportive. Any "friends" that find this situation silly and make fun of it at his expense, rather than help to cheer him up are just a$$holes I'm afraid. As someone who has been bullied for being overweight, I know how horrible the comments can be for your friend. I wish your friend now get's the help he needs.
Keep us posted.....
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Old November 6th, 2014, 11:24 PM   #8
Kate
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know how to help him

Just because a guy is heavier does not mean he can't pick up girls or make friends. He needs to remember that no matter how a person looks, they're always going to be labeled and judged in society, and that it's not his fault for what's happening and that everyone goes through it. You should remind him that not everyone, especially not the nicer people, look solely at people's weights. The thing is that he needs to be in a crowd of different people, people who aren't superficial. Those are the types of people he needs to befriend. He should be in a more positive and accepting environment, and learn to be confident with who he is. Confidence and charisma are key when it comes to befriending people. Also, as his friend, you should remind him that he is the great person you see him as and that those people who shut him down because they find him "ugly and lazy" are just rude and bitter and not everyone is going to act that way and feel that way.

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Old November 9th, 2014, 02:50 PM   #9
Renata_cmp
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know how to help him

Yeah, i told him that. He tends to believe what i say but argue that it's hard to find this kind of people at his age (15) which im not really conviced but... Anyway, he goes out of the hospital tommorow, we're going back to school. I hope this will not turn out too bad.
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Old November 13th, 2014, 06:04 PM   #10
Renata_cmp
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know how to help him

damn when i see all the sport and fitness topics on VT about guys wanting 6 pack abs is depressing me seriously... So are we got so shallow that teens already wants to push themselves into that sometimes privating and eating-disorders creating lifestyle because girls won't lay their eyes on a guy unless he's got washboard abs?? Is that really our generation??
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Old November 17th, 2014, 06:00 PM   #11
Renata_cmp
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Default Re: My friend is suicidal and i don't know how to help him

Well, looks like a girl told him quite agressively today that "he'll never get anyone, since apparently to her men don't have the right to be fat." Well i did not know that... Isn't there any woman in the world not disgusted by chubby boys?? He told me he didn't do his cardio toay and yesterday. looks like he's giving up...
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