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Old March 6th, 2018, 01:40 PM   #1
ambitious_eclipse
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Name: Ambition
Join Date: August 21, 2017
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Default So-called "friends" betrayed me.

And now I have no one.

So one day, I was feeling particularly upset about a sexual tension problem I was having...so I contacted my trusted friend.

I said "Hey can I talk to you about something really embarrassing and awkward, sorta NSFW? or are you busy?"

She said "Sure, I'm just sitting here looking at Instagram. What's up?"

NOTICE: She consented to this conversation, and at no point in the conversation did she say it was uncomfortable and she never tried to change the subject. She was actually quite engaged with me, saying she was having some of those problems herself (as in, wanting it with her significant other but being too awkward to bring it up).

But then, out of the blue one day (the day after a sleepover with us and a group of friends that went well, no drama etc.) I just got a really weird message from our good friend that said "I'm sorry, we're letting you go as a part of our friend circle".

I asked why.

They said I had been "harassing" this friend: that I had been flirting with her and being overly sexual with her. I asked if they had seen screenshots, because those would definitely exonerate me but of course she had deleted the conversation and so had I (my mother checks my texts even though I'm 17...gotta delete some things). I understand giving her the benefit of the doubt, but what about me, too? For one, she's 15 and I'm 17. I'm a little more mature and have known more of our friends for longer than she has. Don't you think they should trust me?

I didn't try and fight but I apologized if anything made her uncomfortable (because I do indeed have problems reading social cues, though it's pretty obvious that she's lying about this to cause drama).

I just feel so betrayed. I let her know a big secret. I was really tempted to tell her significant other about what we ACTUALLY ended up talking about to betray her back, but I feel like that's wrong.

How do I make things right? Or how do I make new friends?

Last edited by ambitious_eclipse; March 7th, 2018 at 09:10 AM.
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Old March 6th, 2018, 10:33 PM   #2
Uniquemind
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Default Re: So-called "friends" betrayed me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ambitious_eclipse View Post
And now I have no one.

So one day, I was feeling particularly upset about a sexual tension problem I was having...so I contacted my trusted friend.

I said "Hey can I talk to you about something really embarrassing and awkward, sorta NSFW? or are you busy?"

She said "Sure, I'm just sitting here looking at Instagram. What's up?"

NOTICE: She consented to this conversation, and at no point in the conversation did she say it was uncomfortable and she never tried to change the subject. She was actually quite engaged with me, saying she was having some of those problems herself (as in, wanting it with her significant other but being too awkward to bring it up).

But then, out of the blue one day (the day after a sleepover with us and a group of friends that went well, no drama etc.) I just got a really weird message from our good friend that said "I'm sorry, we're letting you go as a part of our friend circle".

I asked why.

They said I had been "harassing" this friend: that I had been flirting with her and being overly sexual with her. I asked if they had seen screenshots, because those would definitely exobut of course she had deleted the conversation and so had I (my mother checks my texts even though I'm 17...gotta delete some things). I understand giving her the benefit of the doubt, but what about me, too? For one, she's 15 and I'm 17. I'm a little more mature and have known more of our friends for longer than she has. Don't you think they should trust me?

I didn't try and fight but I apologized if anything made her uncomfortable (because I do indeed have problems reading social cues, though it's pretty obvious that she's lying about this to cause drama).

I just feel so betrayed. I let her know a big secret. I was really tempted to tell her significant other about what we ACTUALLY ended up talking about to betray her back, but I feel like that's wrong.

How do I make things right? Or how do I make new friends?
You move on.

Its hard to tell if she deliberately betrayed you, or perhaps a 3rd party found your conversation and to save-face she threw you under the bus to keep her image clean among your social circle fearing judgment.

Hard to tell since you only have one side of the story, but friends come and go, you are right to not betray her back. But you should somewhat defend yourself to say you asked for consent to engage in a NSFW conversation and she replied it was okay because you sought out counsel...which is what close friends do.
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Old March 7th, 2018, 01:16 AM   #3
ReneLopez
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Default Re: So-called "friends" betrayed me.

Jesus, please try to forgive her. A 15-year-old is always over defense. Maybe she knew she did wrong and felt shame to confess.It's not big deal.I hope this doesn't disappoint you. What is mroe, when you have sensitive problem, you can ask questions on QUORA and believe that there are many people who will help you.
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Old March 7th, 2018, 02:04 AM   #4
Uniquemind
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Default Re: So-called "friends" betrayed me.

I’m sure even people here would even offer advice.
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Old March 22nd, 2018, 01:35 PM   #5
Bleppo
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Default Re: So-called "friends" betrayed me.

You went about this in a completely justified way, its not your fault one bit so its really them thats the problem here so i guess the best thing to do is just try to move on

Im very bored all the time, mesage me if you are also bored all the time
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Old March 24th, 2018, 05:08 PM   #6
Just JT
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Default Re: So-called "friends" betrayed me.

Losing trusted friends like that totally sucks, really bad
But also heres the thing. If they really were friends, true friends, theyd all sit down with you and talk it out maturely (assuming what they all talked about is true). That what friends do, they help each other when times are tough.
Friends dont abandone Friends when times are tough

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