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Old February 27th, 2018, 07:20 PM   #1
HighStandards
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Default How do I confront my bf about his appearance?

So my boyfriend doesn't care much about his appearance or at least doesn't seem to. He wears the same clothes almost everyday. He doesn't clean his face and has crusty lips, which really dampers my attraction for him. I really like him as a person and he makes me happy but I wish he would put in more effort on his appearance. I want to talk with him about this but I don't want to upset him or sound bitchy. I just can't be with someone who doesn't put in an effort to look good.
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Old February 27th, 2018, 07:24 PM   #2
BlackParadePixie
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Default Re: How do I confront my bf about his appearance?

If he can't handle a little constructive advice about his personal appearance or hygiene, then he has issues. Wearing the same clothes every day, I imagine he smells. Does he shower every day? Just be upfront with him and tell him the way you observe things.

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Old February 27th, 2018, 07:26 PM   #3
Chapperz16
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Default Re: How do I confront my bf about his appearance?

This is actually a really good question to ask (I've just started watching Queer Eye on Netflix and they look at this exact problem). There is no real easy way to go about this but you gotta be honest to him. I used to be the type of guy that your boyfriend is; scruffy and careless about my appearance, my boyfriend eventually told me to my face that I was losing him because of this and in an effort to make us work I changed my ways. Now in my case, it didn't save the relationship cause there were a lot of underlying problems but I now dress and groom myself because it makes me happy. Try shaping this issue around the idea that you'd like him to groom and dress himself in a better way to show that he loves himself as well as you.

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Old February 27th, 2018, 09:07 PM   #4
mick01
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Default Re: How do I confront my bf about his appearance?

If you can't talk to him about your feelings, especially something as basic as personal hygiene, and something that the relationship may hinge on, why would you enter into a serious relationship with him? And he doesn't clean his face and has crusty lips? Do you actually want to kiss him? Gross.

Interesting that your user name is high standards.
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Old February 28th, 2018, 01:17 AM   #5
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: How do I confront my bf about his appearance?

If you are having sex tell him that you feel him putting more effort in his appearance will improve your sex lives. Most guys jump at the opportunity for that. It might sound sexist or rude but I honestly believe that it would work.


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Old February 28th, 2018, 07:24 PM   #6
StacyD
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Default Re: How do I confront my bf about his appearance?

You confront him honestly and openly. It's not just for your benefit, it's for his. Tell him that. Tell him how you feel and that how he values himself is how others will value him in return. Unfair, sad, whatever. It's the reality. If you can't love yourself and take pride in yourself, why are you going to fault anyone who doesn't? You get it, I know. So will he as long as you're honest and open. If you can't be that, then your relationship isn't really worth the effort.
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