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Old February 24th, 2018, 10:57 AM   #1
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Join Date: February 24, 2018
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Default The mess in my head

Hi. I am 16 years old and I am approaching 17 years old. I know i should feel relaxed by entering this age, but for some reason I don't want to. I found out that the age of 16 is on top of the hormonal ages, which is why your brain is like travelling back and forth from one thought to another, which kind of permits a quick brain development of 'teen' brain. Anyway, that would be why I would never want to get out of this age: i feel safe when I'm surrounded by lots of thoughts, as if everything is possible. The fact is I've been very good at maths in my life, and I was the best guess when? At 15-16 years old.
Ok, so I was never actually passionate of maths, when I felt like it, it required some emotional dissimulation to make it feel real for good. Now I feel like I wasted too much time, but at the same time I know I don't solely like maths, and I've been profound in everything I did or hear. I also would my emotions take over me only to be able to feel everything intensely, no matter the situation.
I have some daunting questions: If there's something at 16 years old that I feel like liking it and I keep up with it, will it feel the same at 17 years old or even more? If I have continuous remorse about something(e.g. maths), that I did and liked(more or less) my entire life, can I get rid of it at this age by any means( besides suicide )? If I like watching suddenly at 15 16 years old sf movies and reading sf books, the passion wouldn't end by the time I turn 18-19 years old, right? Also, I noticed that if I stop learning in some field, it suddenly feels very brainy and makes me feel anxious. How can I get rid of resulted anxiety without having to quit it, but keeping up with it in a superficial manner?
Since I turned 16 years old, I felt overly competitive with my classmates, and that prevented me from fully enjoy what I was doing. How can I stop feeling competitive and enjoy more what I'm doing( besides the method by which I simply do the thing and program my brain not to be competitive just like that) without having to take pauses or dropping it off? Thanks in advance for you answers!
P.s.: check out the title, in case you forgot.
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Old February 24th, 2018, 07:00 PM   #2
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Name: Natalie
Join Date: December 29, 2013
Age: 19
Gender: Cisgender Female
Blog Entries: 5
Default Re: The mess in my head

Here is something you might of not thought about. Let's say when you were 8, you loved colour, you loved to paint, you loved to be creative. You could easily have that skill set when you you 9, 10, 11, 12 or even 18. However, along the way, the environment and people effect the way you do things. When you're 12, people start to make fun of you for being a "sissy" or a "girl" (as you are a cis male) so you stop painting. This could happen for 1 year, 3 years, or possibly 40. When you are retired, you suddenly have the urge to paint again, and you are able to stimulate your mind with the hobby you pushed into the back of your brain long ago.

What I'm trying to say is that your hobby, skills, passions, it'll feel like they come and go, but it's in fact very easy to come back to them. Don't stress about one day not liking this or not liking that, because that's just part of your life. Nothing's ever been a waste, it's all just growing up. Learn to let things go when it's time, continue to pursue hobbies when you enjoy them and just learn to sometimes let go of the reins and take a step back, because it helps.

Also the competitive thing? I'm not really sure how to help you on that one, some people find it as a stimulus to help them succeed. That's also how schools function nowadays too (Grades, Percentages, Averages, etc). Literally the only thing I can think of is try to chill out but that's basically what you said not to say, haha.

Anyhow, hope that unravels your confusion a bit.

"Nyx, Nyx, Nyx, Nyx, Nyx"

I'm not very active, but if you need someone to chat to, PM me.

Dota 2 Enthusiast | Pre-Service Teacher | Lazy | Writer
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Old February 25th, 2018, 08:01 AM   #3
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Name: Black
Join Date: September 27, 2017
Location: Greece
Gender: Female
Default Re: The mess in my head

This kind of things are different for every person. I mean that for me maybe 16 years old is a top hormonal age. But for someone else maybe 17 years old. (I hope you understand what I write - I'm greek and I'm sure I've already done mistakes).
Anyway, at the age of 18 you are more mature. And you will be fine at maths. Really, you have to believe it.Without confidence you will feel that you aren't good enough. Then, you won't be as good as you were before because you won't believe it.
You become good at maths with time and not with hormones! The more mature somebody is, the better he become. And after all, I'm 17 years old and my dad is mathematician. Everything I'm saying I have lived it
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