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Old January 29th, 2018, 02:56 AM   #1
Wreckless180
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Unhappy Family Arguments

So I'm 13 and I argue with my mum a lot. And it's really hard living when you argue almost every day. I have just been feeling really depressed and I have seen a phycologist in the past who I really liked but my mum cancelled him because he is only on "my side of things". I really have trouble controlling my anger so I just say really bad swear words torwards her and it just comes out of my mouth like I can't even control my mouth. I do feel regretful of saying those words of course, but then she says the same things back to me. It is hard. Too because my parents have split up and I see my dad every weekend. Also my mum has a boyfriend who I do not really like because he treats me like shit but my mum loves him if course but always defends him when I say he's rude to me or stuff like that. I can never relax either when I get home from school even for like for not even 10 minutes. I just really need some help I do not know what to do. Any suggestions in how to fix this please? When we fight nothing is physical though

We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
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Old January 29th, 2018, 03:10 AM   #2
Artful
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Default Re: Family Arguments

Hey, first of all, I'm so sorry that you are in that situation now.

I kinda know how hard it is to be young and have very little control over your emotions. What comes to my mind is that you should calm yourself for a few days, go on with your day without getting angry at her, maybe find a not too risky hobby to keep yourself busy.

Once things with you and your mom are peaceful than the past few days, talk to her. Very calmly, talk to her and explain what's on your thoughts and what are you feeling, of course, also say that you didn't mean the bad things you say to her. Tell her that you need help and support.

You can also talk to your dad about your feelings, so that you and your parents can find a solution to this problem, as a family. You are their child, they need to be there for you even though they split ways.

I hope you stay strong, and I believe you can get through this.



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Old January 29th, 2018, 04:38 AM   #3
Harrier
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Default Re: Family Arguments

There's a lot to address but I'll do 3 and if I forgot to answer anything or you want more advice you can ask me or PM me.
1. You should continue to keep seeing your therapist! A therapist is not there to take ANYONE'S side! If your mom doesn't realize that then ask a school counselor if he can get your sessions back.
2. I totally get that you aren't TRYING to swear at your mom but you have to take ownership of what you say and do in life!!! That's just life! You don't want people to swear at you and nobody wants you to do it to them! I know it's hard to control, and it may possibly potentially feel good to swear and be out of control, but you need to be under control. Hopefully your therapist can help you learn not to swear at others.
3. You can't choose your mom's bfs or friends for her. She gets to pick who she is friendly with! As long as they haven't done anything illegal you have to deal with it. Again, your therapist can help you learn how to deal.
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Old January 29th, 2018, 04:29 PM   #4
Wreckless180
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Default Re: Family Arguments

Thanks guys

We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
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Old January 29th, 2018, 06:36 PM   #5
ska8er
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Default Re: Family Arguments

Have u discussed all of this with
ur therapist? If so then what does
he have to say? Keep seeing ur
therapist and c if he knows of
a place where u can learn how
to control ur anger.
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Old January 30th, 2018, 12:35 AM   #6
Wreckless180
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Default Re: Family Arguments

Ok not like an angry person in general though.

We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
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Old February 2nd, 2018, 04:44 AM   #7
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: Family Arguments

Is moving in with your dad an option? If so, you should strongly consider it.

I think we've all gone too far with our comments and swearing at our parents to some extent, but I find it really shocking that she says these things to you. It sounds like the two of you are verbally assaulting each other!

As far as the annoying bf of your mom goes, try to be nice to him. As bad as it might sound, if he likes you he will naturally be more kind.


Canada / Sport Management (Hockey) Major / Straight / Left-Wing Progressive / 18 yrs old

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