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Old January 23rd, 2018, 03:24 PM   #1
Ineedyou
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Default Friend Help

So I have this best friend, we talk almost everyday and have a good time everytime we do. I've known him for a few years and it's been all good for that time, but everyonce and a while he just "changes". It's hard to explain, but when this happens he wants nothing to do with me. He starts hanging out with new people and stops talking to me almost completely. He's done this twice since we met and I just don't understand why. After like a couple weeks he starts acting normal again and I just get so confused. I've asked before if he was mad at me or something, but he says he's not, so I don't know why he suddenly just drops me for a couple of weeks.
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Old January 23rd, 2018, 03:46 PM   #2
mick01
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Default Re: Friend Help

If you just ask him if he's mad at you, then you need to ask him specifically why he stops talking to you for periods of time. You can tell him that it causes confusion and doubts about your friendship. If he can't adequately explain himself to you, then he isn't being honest or investing much in the friendship. Is that the kind of best friend you want?
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Old January 23rd, 2018, 08:44 PM   #3
ska8er
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Default Re: Friend Help

Idk-He either is angry bout something or he
has some kind of problem that he is dealing
with that causes him with the changes in his
emotions. R u sure he is not using some drugs
that r causing this behavior since it seems he
goes into this when he hanging with his new
friends. I'm not saying this is happening but I
know from different guys Ive seen who r using
drugs act this way. I would talk to him and ask
him y he stops talking to u that it concerns u.
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Old January 23rd, 2018, 08:51 PM   #4
Just JT
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Default Re: Friend Help

Not sure why he does that. But what I do know is “Friends” don’t do that to “Friends”
He may just need some space...even close friends need some space away from each other.
He may also be hanging out with you when nobody else is around for him to hang out with
And that’s not being a “friend” either
That’s using someone

So I’d ask him specifically like @mick01 said. And be specific when he’s doing it to

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Old January 23rd, 2018, 10:02 PM   #5
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Default Re: Friend Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by mick01 View Post
If you just ask him if he's mad at you, then you need to ask him specifically why he stops talking to you for periods of time. You can tell him that it causes confusion and doubts about your friendship. If he can't adequately explain himself to you, then he isn't being honest or investing much in the friendship. Is that the kind of best friend you want?
He's probably trying to find himself and who he is as he matures. Give him time, either the relationship will continue with both of you as close mature people or it will end, and you will both move on. Either way is okay.

18, Male, bisexual, jellybean lover. Evolving every day. Giving my advice where I can and having some fun with it.
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Old January 23rd, 2018, 10:08 PM   #6
mick01
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Default Re: Friend Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaosphere View Post
He's probably trying to find himself and who he is as he matures. Give him time, either the relationship will continue with both of you as close mature people or it will end, and you will both move on. Either way is okay.
I don't believe it is okay to be in a one sided friendship where one friend can just decide to check out for a while with no explanation, and which causes one side anxiety. It is important that people express dissatisfaction with relationships if they feel their is an imbalance. You suggest a pretty passive way for how the op should handle this.
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Old January 23rd, 2018, 10:16 PM   #7
Chaosphere
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Default Re: Friend Help

Quote:
Originally Posted by mick01 View Post
I don't believe it is okay to be in a one sided friendship where one friend can just decide to check out for a while with no explanation, and which causes one side anxiety. It is important that people express dissatisfaction with relationships if they feel their is an imbalance. You suggest a pretty passive way for how the op should handle this.
He can't force his friend to be with him, otherwise it's a one-sided relationship on his side. I didn't say he shouldn't be involved at all or should be completely out of his friend life, just give him healthy space as the relationship ages. I figure taking a slightly passive approach will give the other guy space to decide who his real friends are, these new people or someone who has been with him for longer.

18, Male, bisexual, jellybean lover. Evolving every day. Giving my advice where I can and having some fun with it.
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Old January 24th, 2018, 05:36 AM   #8
NewLeafsFan
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Default Re: Friend Help

There could be several reasons why this happens. He could be having problems with his home life, he could have other people that he would rather spend time with and always ends up moving on from them and back to you, he could have feeling for you and try to take a step back once in a while. Not knowing your friend, I can't tell you why his behaviours suddenly change once in a while.

That being said, I don't think that why is the reason you made this post. I'm guessing that you are looking for advice on how to handle him when he does this. Just give him space for a few days and if you don't hear from him, send him a text just to make sure that he is doing ok. Don't by pushy, just let him know that you are there if he needs to talk.


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