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Old January 17th, 2018, 06:28 PM   #1
Mikey1
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Default Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Okay so I'm 13, male, and I need help with my girlfriend. I am very shy so whenever i am near her i get really scared so I try to avoid her. She knows about this and I need help to talk to her in real life. The only way I really can is to text her.
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Old January 17th, 2018, 07:07 PM   #2
Fritz
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

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Originally Posted by Mikey1 View Post
Okay so I'm 13, male, and I need help with my girlfriend. I am very shy so whenever i am near her i get really scared so I try to avoid her. She knows about this and I need help to talk to her in real life. The only way I really can is to text her.
Hiya dude, well lets get to the root of this stuff. why do you feel you are super shy round her? you obviously did something right if ya got her as a gf right

Just a person who loves to play and watch sports.

Ravioli Ravioli Give Me the Formuoli
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Old January 17th, 2018, 07:19 PM   #3
Mikey1
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

I dont really know why i am shy, but I think it is because I don't want people judging me, especially her friends because I don't think they like me too much.
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Old January 17th, 2018, 07:19 PM   #4
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikey1 View Post
Okay so I'm 13, male, and I need help with my girlfriend. I am very shy so whenever i am near her i get really scared so I try to avoid her. She knows about this and I need help to talk to her in real life. The only way I really can is to text her.
Does she know that u like her or is she just
someone u have a crush on? Avoiding her is
not going to help u much. Texting is a good
start in getting to know her but y don't u use
whatever u text her to tell her in person. If she
knows u r shy tell her u r scared and can she help
u overcome what u r going thru.

Forget bout her friends judging u- just keep
ur concentration on her.

Last edited by ska8er; January 17th, 2018 at 07:23 PM.
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Old January 17th, 2018, 07:37 PM   #5
Mikey1
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Thing is we've been dating for 7 months but I still have no balls to actually talk to her.
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Old January 17th, 2018, 07:38 PM   #6
Drewboyy
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

If you've been dating then you should have no trouble talking to her. if she doesn't like it then it's time to leave

Drew here! Iʻm very open so enjoy! Don't forget what's up ^^

I have a bad case of being an attention seeker

PM me at any time to talk about whatever you want, I'm always happy with it
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Old January 17th, 2018, 08:28 PM   #7
ska8er
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

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Thing is we've been dating for 7 months but I still have no balls to actually talk to her.
Then what have u been doing on dates?
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Old January 17th, 2018, 09:15 PM   #8
Just JT
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Youíve been dating for 7 months and canít nit up to talk to her?
How does that work?
Iím not judging but I donít understand
Like how do you guys even plan like getting a coffee or anything of you guys canít talk?

Voted most likely to wind up in jail
2017 VT Awards
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Old January 17th, 2018, 09:38 PM   #9
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

You have been dating by texting or what? Somehow you need to build your confidence and not being fearful of being judged by others. You can't have much of a relationship ever if you can't talk to your partner "girlfriend" face to face and communicate. Also you are only 13 so you are just still in the beginning stage of puberty. You may gain confidence and be more comfortable and less shy around people the older you get.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old January 18th, 2018, 02:26 AM   #10
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Well, you've clearly done something right. You've gotten her to date you. I'm going to guess that you are at the beginning of your relationship since you are still so shy. The first thing that you need to do is tell her what you have just told us. Communicating is key to the success of a relationship.

Unfortunately for you, the only way to get over this is to gain experience. Even if it's tough or you aren't looking at her directly in the eyes the entire time, make yourself talk to her every day. If you can't do that, maybe move from texting, to talking on the phone (you can write a list of convo topics before you call her), and then eventually consider talking to her more in person.


Canada / Sport Management (Hockey) Major / Straight / Left-Wing Progressive / 18 yrs old

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Old January 18th, 2018, 04:55 PM   #11
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

I think its a bit of a barrier you need to break through. deliberately find her and talk to her once, and that could help take away the nerves and help you break into being less nervous around her
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Old January 21st, 2018, 11:18 AM   #12
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

So if you're okay texting her, then the shyness develops when your physically together. Could be a combination of two things; you're worried about your own attractiveness (and her perception of that), or you are intimidated by her attractiveness and sexuality. To overcome the first issue, just be you. Sure, you can spruce up a bit, wear something that helps you look good, etc. But remember, she already likes what she sees! On the second issues, it happens all the time and can be hard to break the ice. You might try talking about something lighthearted and then briefly touch her on the arm. Or if you're walking together, ask if you can hold her hand. These little things can break down the shyness barrier between you. It sounds like you are both shy, so somebody's gotta take the lead.

Forever
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Old January 24th, 2018, 03:17 PM   #13
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Between texting and dating, in person, I mean, you can talk by phone, get used to your voices. Later, you can even play a game, like 5 minutes before a date, call her and talk to her by the phone until you meet.

Sorry for my English...

Noooooo
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Old January 24th, 2018, 10:41 PM   #14
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikey1 View Post
Thing is we've been dating for 7 months but I still have no balls to actually talk to her.
My dude, it doesn't sound like you're actually dating her.
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Old January 24th, 2018, 11:09 PM   #15
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

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Thing is we've been dating for 7 months but I still have no balls to actually talk to her.
i kinda wonder if you a bit like that guy in TV show Black Mirror in that one show where there is this guy who is very smart in real life, but has problems talking to people. he scans their dna into his computer game and he becomes this totally different person in the game than in real life. in the game his brave and can do anything, but in real life very very different.
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Old January 25th, 2018, 03:15 AM   #16
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

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Originally Posted by HardCandyGirl View Post
Between texting and dating, in person, I mean, you can talk by phone, get used to your voices. Later, you can even play a game, like 5 minutes before a date, call her and talk to her by the phone until you meet.
Quality advice!

Imo you need to do one of two things. Either take it slow like Hardcandy suggested. Or go "all in" and rip it off like a band aid. Know it's gonna be painful to talk irl but know you have to to make the relationship work and so you can be less shy with everyone. Its your choice what you choose.

Finally you should know that it's not your fault that you are naturally shy. BUT it IS your fault if you don't make an effort to become less shy.

Last edited by Harrier; January 25th, 2018 at 03:21 AM.
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Old January 25th, 2018, 08:43 AM   #17
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

If she knows about this already, you don't need third-party-help or such but her help, if she likes you same as you like her.

If you haven't done it yet, text her about the reasons why you may acting a bit weird more detailed, if she's around. May be she can start talking to you. This said, the both of you now should find an own way, to communicate in RL.





"Life is that prison you'll never leave alive."



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Old January 25th, 2018, 04:09 PM   #18
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikey1 View Post
Okay so I'm 13, male, and I need help with my girlfriend. I am very shy so whenever i am near her i get really scared so I try to avoid her. She knows about this and I need help to talk to her in real life. The only way I really can is to text her.
Just to clarify... why are you going out with a girl your shy around. I mean come on man, you need to talk to her in person or she will loose interest. Even if its out of school! I know its not easy but its a start!

Happy to Chat about anything!! Hit me up! "
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Old January 26th, 2018, 08:47 PM   #19
samuel15
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

I don't belive you are shy and avoid you friends and that is why you should
treat her like you friend more then a goddes, once she is human again it will
get a lot easier to talk.

17 / gay / male PM me if you want to talk
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Old January 27th, 2018, 05:08 PM   #20
KevinT
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Default Re: Im 13, Help with girlfriend

Well thats unusual. How can you date her for 7 months and still feel shy talking to her? Have you actually seen her physically or is it virtual dating? I'm not sure I would consider it dating tough.

Excuse my english, not my first language
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