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Old June 29th, 2018, 09:26 PM   #1
Jinglebottom
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Default It still doesn't feel real

I lost my dog a week ago. He had issues with his liver for a couple of years, then two weeks ago he started seizing up so bad we took him to the vet. His liver just abruptly shut down and it was totally incurable. I cried on the day I found out he was dying, but I was too weak to actually see him leaving us. I wanted to keep the last memory I had of him a positive one (he was trying to lick my face ). Since then I have been feeling numb. It's like I'm pushing the pain deep inside so I can pretend it's not there and that everything is okay with me. Actually, I think I've done a pretty good job for somebody this attached to his dog. None of my friends noticed anything different about me. I can truly feel his absence when it's the middle of the night and he's not there sleeping in his favorite corner. I still open/close my bedroom door slowly at night because I don't want to wake him up (his corner was in front of my room) but he's not here. I go to the kitchen, expecting to see him follow me (he always thought I was gonna get him a treat) but he doesn't. I just can't believe it. It was so soon. He was only seven years old, I had him since I was 9 and he was with me for almost half of my life. I would always cuddle him whenever I saw him sitting in the hallway. Now I look for him and I can't find him anywhere. I look at the time and remember that it's his feeding time but there is no bowl anymore. I see dog toys in the shops and think about buying one for him, but then I realize he's not with us anymore. I almost don't want to wash all the black clothing I have because some of his beautiful sandy blonde fur is still stuck to it. It's so incredibly hard. I hope he is at peace now.

This is the last pic I took of him. It's a few hours before he got suddenly extremely ill. Before that he had been seemingly healthy for about 6 months. It's also the first time I look at a photo of him since he died. It was just too difficult. I will miss this little guy. Please go give your pet a hug, you never know when it'l be the last time.


Thanks for listening

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Old June 29th, 2018, 11:27 PM   #2
Sailor Mars
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Default Re: It still doesn't feel real

I’m sorry for your dogs passing ): I empathize. I had my cat taken from me really suddenly, and my mom took the dogs when she moved, so I’ve been left with no companion. I don’t think you’re weak for not being able to bring yourself to see him go. It’s completely understandable. People deal with loss differently. Animals are just as much as a part of our family as a sibling or relative ykno? So it can be devestating. It’s good to let these emotions of sadness out. It’s better actually than keeping them in. So let yourself be sad ykno? Let yourself grieve. It’s alright.

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Old June 29th, 2018, 11:33 PM   #3
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Default Re: It still doesn't feel real

I'm so sorry for your loss!

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Old June 30th, 2018, 02:52 PM   #4
Jinglebottom
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Iím sorry for your dogs passing ): I empathize. I had my cat taken from me really suddenly, and my mom took the dogs when she moved, so Iíve been left with no companion. I donít think youíre weak for not being able to bring yourself to see him go. Itís completely understandable. People deal with loss differently. Animals are just as much as a part of our family as a sibling or relative ykno? So it can be devestating. Itís good to let these emotions of sadness out. Itís better actually than keeping them in. So let yourself be sad ykno? Let yourself grieve. Itís alright.
Thank you Mila. Sorry about your situation too, that must be really difficult to deal with. Some people really underestimate the bond that can develop between a person and their dog. I cared about him more than I cared about some of my younger cousins, to me they were just annoying little boogers, but my dog was like a family member to me. He brought so much joy to this house. Just the way he would greet you when you got home was so filled with love. Now it feels quiet and depressing. I visited his grave today and it gave me some closure. But yes, I will be okay. Working on it.

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Old June 30th, 2018, 04:34 PM   #5
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Default Re: It still doesn't feel real

I'm very sad to hear that bob. My heart goes out to you. I think crying is very necessary to heal the loss. It helps with closure, even if you don't feel any close to that phase right now. But it's important for you to realize that for your own good crying episodes should be lesser and lesser every day, so try to keep yourself busy. After all, suffering is not what your doggie would've wanted for you. He gave you years of tail wagging happiness because he wanted you to be happy and he loved you so much.
Make a decision to celebrate his life. Plant a tree in his honor. Volunteer to help at an animal shelter. And never forget that even if it's too soon there are many dogs out there who are desperate to be adopted and are in need of a good owner like you.
Be strong. I'm sure you'll get through this.

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Old June 30th, 2018, 05:49 PM   #6
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Default Re: It still doesn't feel real

I'm so sorry to hear that, Bob. I've never dealt with a loss like that, but I feel for you as it's such an emotional thing to go through and your bond was so strong. Whenever we talked about him, I could tell how much he meant to you. Stay strong and try to maintain at least a little positivity. He was happiest when you were in a good mood. I know that's easier said than done right now, but that's what he'd want you to do. Don't hesitate to message me if you need a pick-me-up or just need to talk and get your mind on something else.

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Old June 30th, 2018, 06:13 PM   #7
Jinglebottom
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Default Re: It still doesn't feel real

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Originally Posted by Tom_theflash View Post
I'm very sad to hear that bob. My heart goes out to you. I think crying is very necessary to heal the loss. It helps with closure, even if you don't feel any close to that phase right now. But it's important for you to realize that for your own good crying episodes should be lesser and lesser every day, so try to keep yourself busy. After all, suffering is not what your doggie would've wanted for you. He gave you years of tail wagging happiness because he wanted you to be happy and he loved you so much.
Make a decision to celebrate his life. Plant a tree in his honor. Volunteer to help at an animal shelter. And never forget that even if it's too soon there are many dogs out there who are desperate to be adopted and are in need of a good owner like you.
Be strong. I'm sure you'll get through this.
Yeah I do cry sometimes (mostly at night) and it really makes you feel better for a small while. I was too depressed to go out and distract myself the first few days, but now I have more plans so that helps. I feel a tiny bit better every day, looking at pictures of him is slightly more bearable now than before so that is a good sign. They remind me of how adorable he was instead of making me sad. Can't feel anything negative when you're looking at such cuteness.

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I'm so sorry to hear that, Bob. I've never dealt with a loss like that, but I feel for you as it's such an emotional thing to go through and your bond was so strong. Whenever we talked about him, I could tell how much he meant to you. Stay strong and try to maintain at least a little positivity. He was happiest when you were in a good mood. I know that's easier said than done right now, but that's what he'd want you to do. Don't hesitate to message me if you need a pick-me-up or just need to talk and get your mind on something else.
Thanks girlie you're a great friend and a great listener. Sorry I didn't tell you about this until now even though you asked me a week ago, I just didn't want to talk about him cause I felt like I could not handle it then. Btw, I'll text you back in a bit, I'm updating my phone and it is taking 84 years.

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