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Old January 1st, 2018, 07:23 AM   #1
Dimentio
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Default What can i do?

My family have literally left me in a point of being unable to do anything, and i literally don't know what to do any more, i have repeatedly tried, but I'm without options by this point and i don't know what to do

Literally NO MATTER WHAT i talk about they DON'T believe me, like right now mum tried to tell me i lost some gifts i got for Christmas and she literally won't believe a word i say when i say i never recieved them, even when i showed her proof of this she still won't believe me she never gave them to me and is giving me shit for losing them, i did 3 years of animal care and science in college as well as working with exclussively dogs for over 6 years by this point, won't believe me when i say the dogs are fat or that there are dominance issues between the two boys

My sister is repeatedly attacking me, verbally and she gets physical a lot to, my mum says i don't do enough to avoid her, i literally do whatever my sister asks me, i don't even so much as look at her, if she enters a room and i don't need to be in there i leave it, i don't even so much as look at her, i can't do anything else to avoid her yet help her out when needed, it's somehow still my fault though that she attacks me!

But just in general, my family always treat me like shit, and it's reached a point i have shut myself in my room all day, i avoid them at all costs, yet again though, if they ask me to do something i will do it and i help them out whenever needed, i even randomly bake them things or buy my baby brother dinner, yet they still constantly treat me like shit, disrespect me, everything, yet if i show even MILD annoyance for the way they're treating me? Everyone treats me even worse, blames it all on me, and acts like this is all my fault and I'm the bad person!

I wanna get out of here so bad but i can't work right now as i am not in a healthy mind frame to do so at all, i failed college because of this, but the more time passes, the more i am miserable being stuck here, the worse my life is getting, the more problems are piling up, the worse I'm being treated, everything, it's only getting worse, but i just can't work right now to get out of here, what do i do!?!

I can't be here any more, i can't, i physically and mentally can't, they're killing me and making me miserable, i need out so bad, but i don't know what else i can do! I just can't keep being here any more, i can't, there's no break from the way they treat me, i can't escape them, i can't even leave my room by this point, i can't do jack fucking shit, I'm trapped here, but I'm getting so miserable and frustrated by this point!

Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to live life trapped in your room, constantly having to do whatever you're asked because if you say no you get assaulted, having people go through your room when you're not there,w ithout your permission, chatting shit about you openly, constantly bringing up every single time you make a mistake or do something wrong, constantly giving you shit for it, always reminding you of it, always making digs at you about your mental/physical health, your surroundings, never listening to a word you say, never believing you, never getting praise, never getting thanked, never shown kindness unless it's a random gifts once in a blue moon, always having shit hidden from you, always being accused of lying, always being accused of stealing, always being accused of being crazy, always being accused of being the bad person, always being accused of being horrible, yet if you show even MILD annoyance of say something even MILDLY vague about how you think this treatment is unfair, you only get treated that much worse, and you still get told how this is all your fault, you get reminded of how you are a bad person, how you only can do wrong, how no one else has done anything, how you're crazy and imagining things, how you're lying, how you're the horrible person, how you're being horrible, all this shit, do you have ANY idea how horrible it is to live EVERY fucking day like this!?! Guess what, i don't have to imagine it because i fucking live it! So what the fuck can i do to get out of this situation if i can't work and get the money to do so!?!
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Old January 1st, 2018, 08:35 AM   #2
Axrow
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Default Re: What can i do?

I'm sorry to here that man As a good friend, I wish we could have you stay with us. I guess that is something you can do, find a friend to stay with, who might not care about money but who cares about helping your mental state. I suggest also trying to work at the other problems that are putting you down (the ones you left college for), to try and get to a point where you can earn money. Getting away from your family for a bit may help you work on those other problems.
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Old January 1st, 2018, 08:49 AM   #3
Dimentio
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Default Re: What can i do?

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Originally Posted by Axrow View Post
I'm sorry to here that man As a good friend, I wish we could have you stay with us. I guess that is something you can do, find a friend to stay with, who might not care about money but who cares about helping your mental state. I suggest also trying to work at the other problems that are putting you down (the ones you left college for), to try and get to a point where you can earn money. Getting away from your family for a bit may help you work on those other problems.
I'm sorry, i have memory issues, do i know you? I don't think i recognise you?

I have no one to stay with, i don't have real life friends, and that's my issue, i am trying to work on those other issues, but to work on those other issues, like you said, i need to get out of here, but i can't get out of here until i work on those issues, it's this viciousl cycle i can't break out of, i have tried but it's only lead to me harming myself in so many ways and doesn't work
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Old January 1st, 2018, 10:27 AM   #4
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Default Re: What can i do?

If u r having all these probs
with ur family-u r 21 y not
find ur own place to live and
get away from them.
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Old January 1st, 2018, 10:45 AM   #5
Dimentio
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Default Re: What can i do?

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Originally Posted by ska8er View Post
If u r having all these probs
with ur family-u r 21 y not
find ur own place to live and
get away from them.
Like i said, i want to, but i don't have the money to do right now and i can't get into work currently either, i have tried things like that and i just have a breakdown and start lashing out at people
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Old January 1st, 2018, 10:52 AM   #6
ska8er
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Default Re: What can i do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimentio View Post
Like i said, i want to, but i don't have the money to do right now and i can't get into work currently either, i have tried things like that and i just have a breakdown and start lashing out at people
Start looking to line up a job so u can
get away. I don't think there is any other
advice I can think of for u to do. That would
b my main concern to get away. U have an
education so its not like u don't have anything
to fall back on.
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Old January 1st, 2018, 01:23 PM   #7
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Default Re: What can i do?

I agree with ska8ter. You need to concentrate on finding some way to get out of the situation with your family. Do you have any relatives or close friends that would help you out temporarily until you can find work and get a place of your own.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old January 1st, 2018, 04:32 PM   #8
Dimentio
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Default Re: What can i do?

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Originally Posted by jamie_n5 View Post
I agree with ska8ter. You need to concentrate on finding some way to get out of the situation with your family. Do you have any relatives or close friends that would help you out temporarily until you can find work and get a place of your own.
No, i have no one haha

And like i told Ska8ter, i know getting a job is really the easiest and only option, but no one seems to be understanding how much i literally can't do it
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Old January 2nd, 2018, 09:28 AM   #9
Axrow
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Default Re: What can i do?

Yes you do, but perhaps consider earning money through different ways such as selling or online stuff that earns you money perhaps.

What happened to all your friends?
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Old January 3rd, 2018, 03:05 AM   #10
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Default Re: What can i do?

Do yourself a favour and stop spending all day in your room. It is unhealthy. Clearly, the household that you live in is also unhealthy. I think that you can find somewhere else to go. Do you have friends that you can hang out with? A sibling other than your sister that you can go do things with outside of home? Cousins? Does grandma live within walking distance?

As far as what to do when you are with your dysfunctional family, have you heard of cognitive behavioural therapy? It basically means that you realize that you can't control or change the people around you, so you act in a way that is less likely to cause upset. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming you but sometimes you can learn to control other peoples responses b changing your own actions and reactions.


Canada / Sport Management (Hockey) Major / Straight / Left-Wing Progressive / 18 yrs old

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Old January 3rd, 2018, 04:15 AM   #11
Dimentio
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Default Re: What can i do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewLeafsFan View Post
Do yourself a favour and stop spending all day in your room. It is unhealthy. Clearly, the household that you live in is also unhealthy. I think that you can find somewhere else to go. Do you have friends that you can hang out with? A sibling other than your sister that you can go do things with outside of home? Cousins? Does grandma live within walking distance?

As far as what to do when you are with your dysfunctional family, have you heard of cognitive behavioural therapy? It basically means that you realize that you can't control or change the people around you, so you act in a way that is less likely to cause upset. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming you but sometimes you can learn to control other peoples responses b changing your own actions and reactions.
Dude, judging without knowing, i don't like that one bit, i don't spend all day in my room, I'm a part time dog walker and even then I'm a nature photographer, i go out on nature walks a lot, some can take 6 hours, so i do spend time out, and, read my replies with other people, i don't have real friends, and it should be clear i have no family i am close to either haha

And i was tortured with CBT, not only do i do a lot of it already, not only do i keep my mouth shout and avoid people, so already doing the most i can, like i said, i was tortured with it already, i am NEVER touching that shit again, it was fucking horrific and just straight up horrible, fuck that shit, i am doing all i can, my family won't get off my back and they keep hitting harder and harder, they need ot change, anyone who knows me personally knows i am doing literally all i can, yet they still act like this and treat me like this, i literally can't do anything else by this point, hence why i made this thread saying i can't do literally naything else by this point, I'm doing everything, they need to change and get help, not me, as I've done it all, I'm still doing it all, but nothing's working or fixing it, i can't do ANYTHING else!
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Old January 6th, 2018, 06:32 PM   #12
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Default Re: What can i do?

Ur 21 and sound like ur 12.

14, straight, looking for some new friends. I like to see who I'm talking to if you send me a friend request have a profile picture.
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