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Old December 31st, 2017, 01:15 PM   #1
max02
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Angry sexual harassment

there's a guy in my school who is convinced i'm gay and keeps hitting on me. i told him i'm not, but he won't back off.

it's only going to get worse now that i'm dating a transgender boy (he's still a girl physically).

i'm not interested in guys at all, but its not getting through to him and now he's spreading rumors about me.

i don't really care about the rumors as much as him sexually harassing me. he sits next to me in art class and whispers really inappropriate things when no one is near us. he also touches my leg with his leg every once in a while.

how do i get him to stop without turning it into a huge deal? i don't want to get an adult involved.

thanks
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Old December 31st, 2017, 03:25 PM   #2
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Default Re: sexual harassment

You want to stop this? Get an adult involved.

If you already told him no, and he keeps doing that to you, then get help.

Don't throw punches, nor use violence, it won't help the situation to get better.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 03:33 PM   #3
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Default Re: sexual harassment

You're best bet is to tell an adult you trust. Of course, it's your choice whether or not you want to tell someone, but if you are, and I hope you will, a Teacher, school counsellor, coach, anyone like that that you trust will help. I'm a sexual assault victim. I didn't tell anyone, and I regret that.

"My mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." Fred Rogers
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:05 PM   #4
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Default Re: sexual harassment

Quote:
Originally Posted by max02 View Post
there's a guy in my school who is convinced i'm gay and keeps hitting on me. i told him i'm not, but he won't back off.

it's only going to get worse now that i'm dating a transgender boy (he's still a girl physically).

i'm not interested in guys at all, but its not getting through to him and now he's spreading rumors about me.

i don't really care about the rumors as much as him sexually harassing me. he sits next to me in art class and whispers really inappropriate things when no one is near us. he also touches my leg with his leg every once in a while.

how do i get him to stop without turning it into a huge deal? i don't want to get an adult involved.

thanks
Geez max, thought youd know what to do out of all of us. Strike him down, he'll shut up

Just a person who loves to play and watch sports.

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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:08 PM   #5
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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Geez max, thought youd know what to do out of all of us. Strike him down, he'll shut up
yeah, i don't want to be known as the guy who beats up a gay guy for hitting on him.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:09 PM   #6
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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Geez max, thought youd know what to do out of all of us. Strike him down, he'll shut up
yes but then he could get in trouble as well even if the jerk deserves to be hit.

I know it may not be the most popular course of action to take among guys Max ( @max02), but you could absolutely report him for sexual harassment. I can't promise what will happen, but if you have proof, he can get into some very serious trouble.

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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:12 PM   #7
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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yeah, i don't want to be known as the guy who beats up a gay guy for hitting on him.
Does it really matter if he's gay or not? All I see is a person that needs to ve taught to keep to himself. Its a black and white issue

Just a person who loves to play and watch sports.

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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:16 PM   #8
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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yes but then he could get in trouble as well even if the jerk deserves to be hit.

I know it may not be the most popular course of action to take among guys Max ( @max02), but you could absolutely report him for sexual harassment. I can't promise what will happen, but if you have proof, he can get into some very serious trouble.
i have texts from him... no idea how he got my number. but i don't want to ruin his life, so i'm not going to bring it to an adult.

Last edited by max02; January 1st, 2018 at 08:30 AM.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:19 PM   #9
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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i have texts from... no idea how he got my number. but i don't want to ruin his life, so i'm not going to bring it to an adult.
Don't punch him, use that as a LAST RESORT.

Also... Just simply tell him (shout): NO. STOP. STOP. STOP.

That should help.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:20 PM   #10
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Default Re: sexual harassment

Ok ok, you don't want to beat him up and you don't want to ruin his life by going to an adult. So maybe you should try to talk to him and really ask him why he keeps doing what he is doing despite you telling him to stop. Maybe you just need to talk it out, you can always threaten to do something, not that you neer to follow through right @max02

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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:20 PM   #11
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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i have texts from... no idea how he got my number. but i don't want to ruin his life, so i'm not going to bring it to an adult.
I respect where you're coming from. I do. It shows how more mature you are compared to him. But and I don't say this to be mean or anything of the sort, but if you're not going to tell someone who can help there really is not much you can do. I agree with your decision not to use violence, even if he gets in trouble you can get into trouble as well. But your only other real option is to try to ignore it as best as possible. I know, I'm sorry that sucks hearing/reading that but there are only so many things you can do. I would say try talking to him again, but a guy like that, I don't think that would be the most productive course of action.
@Fritz does bring up a great point. Maybe the threat you will report him might make him layoff, but again it can depend on the person. If you want to try talking to him go for it absolutely, I am just not sure how productive it will be with an individual who takes pleasure at harassing people.

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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:21 PM   #12
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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Originally Posted by TheMagicPotato View Post
Don't punch him, use that as a LAST RESORT.

Also... Just simply tell him (shout): NO. STOP. STOP. STOP.

That should help.
oh yeah that's smart. i'll just start shouting in art class and look like a lunatic lol

Last edited by max02; January 1st, 2018 at 08:30 AM.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:24 PM   #13
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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any other great advice?
Vaccines don't cause autism.

Also, also. I think I got a little carried away. Just explain your position to him, and reject his mannerisms.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 04:39 PM   #14
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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oh yeah that's smart. i'll just starting shouting in art class and look like lunatic. any other great advice?
Max people are trying to help. You have every right to be upset, but you're getting upset at the wrong people. I realize the situation is frustrating for you. I know I would be. You're pissed. Hey, I would be too, I would. Despite my advice of not punching the guy, I would probably make the mistake of doing that. I am glad you see that is not the course of action to take. You don't want to report him, again a commendable decision and action which shows a level of maturity on your part. You don't want to embarrass him by loudly calling him out. I respect that too.

Please don't get mad at those who are trying to help you. Some valid options have been presented. If you don't think they are the right course for you to take, then that is your decision to make. But don't get mad because people are presenting you with options. We're just trying to help.

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Old December 31st, 2017, 05:42 PM   #15
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Default Re: sexual harassment

I think that if it's in school this is happening go to a teacher or the principal and tell them. The tough part is that you say you are straight but are dating a transgender girl that is a boy in his mind. So by doing that does in fact make you appear to be gay. I wouldn't think your relationship would not be a good idea if you think you are going to change this transgender person into being straight. So really in fact you are dating a boy. Just think about it man.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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Old December 31st, 2017, 11:25 PM   #16
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Default Re: sexual harassment

You got a smart phone right?
If you dont like how hes hitting on you and such why not record it and get a video of it
Then show it to him and tell him to stop

Kinda blackmail but hey if it works and you dont use it to expose him otherwise....


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Old January 1st, 2018, 12:03 AM   #17
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Default Re: sexual harassment

Advice is to tell him that you are not interested and if he keeps it up you WILL tell an adult.

I have a question back. You are dating a transgender girl who is going to become a boy? Did I get that right?

Honestly I get very confused about that.
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Old January 1st, 2018, 12:53 AM   #18
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Default Re: sexual harassment

Instead of yelling or telling an adult (thought telling someone would be the best way, I know you probably won't want to do it) you could stress that you want him to go away or try to shame him a bit in class for hitting on you.
I also think JT's idea is a good one to try.

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Old January 1st, 2018, 08:45 AM   #19
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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Originally Posted by kro814 View Post
Advice is to tell him that you are not interested and if he keeps it up you WILL tell an adult.

I have a question back. You are dating a transgender girl who is going to become a boy? Did I get that right?

Honestly I get very confused about that.
someone transitioning from a female to a male is a transgender man/boy. my boyfriend is a transboy. he's physically a girl because he's too young to get surgery.
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Old January 1st, 2018, 12:58 PM   #20
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Default Re: sexual harassment

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Originally Posted by max02 View Post
there's a guy in my school who is convinced i'm gay and keeps hitting on me. i told him i'm not, but he won't back off.

it's only going to get worse now that i'm dating a transgender boy (he's still a girl physically).

i'm not interested in guys at all, but its not getting through to him and now he's spreading rumors about me.

i don't really care about the rumors as much as him sexually harassing me. he sits next to me in art class and whispers really inappropriate things when no one is near us. he also touches my leg with his leg every once in a while.

how do i get him to stop without turning it into a huge deal? i don't want to get an adult involved.

thanks
Ask him to stop. If not, ask a teacher if you could get moved. You don't have to give that as a reason
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