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Old September 25th, 2018, 01:36 AM   #1
bougainvillea
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Name: shanie
Join Date: December 3, 2015
Age: 17
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Default What to do about my friends?

Hey, so i’m in the final year of high school, and somehow i got a pretty big (and awesome) batch of friends. as a group we make up about 10 people which is good considering there’s about 50 in my year group.

however, we’re pretty notoriously known for having drama and fallouts. and it always seems to revolve around this one guy, we’ll call him Pete. Pete has some pretty bad mental health, and that’s coming from someone who isn’t 100% there. One minute he’ll be raving playing inappropriate loud memes and songs on youtube and the next he’ll just give EVERYONE in our group death stares, sits there does nothing. He has admitted he has “bipolar tendencies” but refuses to accept it or get help anymore.

Pete is also going through a breakup problem right now, they’re constantly breaking up and getting together again over the last 5 months? She’s terrible to him and we’ve all been telling him to block her for 5 months but hasn’t done it once.

This time it turned out of control on Saturday, when one of my friends had got a little bit of alcohol in her and was a bit confident and messaged him like “Heyyyyy!” normal, right? no. He went bat shit crazy at her, saying how she’ll regret it in the morning and things like that, then blocked her.
He then messaged another female friend (it’s a 5 girl and 5 guy group), and she was just saying “go to sleep, it’ll be fine” and he went mad at her too when she kindly worded about how he could block someone who has been there for him for years vs a really toxic person, completely crazy texts too. Apparently he interpreted her messages as “you all tell me to kill myself” and that “he’ll let the real person out in him, cause he’s even more heartless” too.

Fast forward to Monday, he’s COMPLETELY fine at school. Laughing and playing his videos. Except he’s gone to the boys and made how we’ve all stabbed him in the back and we’ve all defended the “drunk texter”.

It always seems like when the group has a fall out, it’ll be the guys falling out with Pete, or the girls falling out with Pete. All the girls (not sure about boys as much) they constantly message him and help him when he puts up a depressing Snapchat story which is nearly every day.

Yeah, so this rant is out. You don’t have to reply but some advice would be nice. Thanks everyone x
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Old September 25th, 2018, 09:43 AM   #2
ska8er
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Name: Andy
Join Date: August 23, 2013
Location: Pennsylvania USA
Age: 18
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Default Re: What to do about my friends?

Hes like a grenade with a loose pin. U say
his girlfriend has been mean to him and they
have been breaking up time and time-it may
b that he has gone wacko on her with his on
and off again personality. I would stay way
away from him unless u want him some day
attack or worse do something to all of u.
I wouldn't call him a friend.
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Old September 25th, 2018, 08:12 PM   #3
Second Chance
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Default Re: What to do about my friends?

I am sure you have been with this guy "Pete" for a while which is why all of you probably do not want to ditch him especially since you all are seniors and probably want to do things together. However, since it is senior year and you all will most likely want to do things together I am positive this guy is going to torpedo so many of the plans and events you all have planned. While it's unfortunate the guy has some major mental health issues that fundamentally is not any of your problems especially considering he does not want to get help for them. The result is that your group has to make a choice as to whether it wants to be held hostage by one person or move forward making it clear to "Pete" that he's always welcome as long as he can behave. I think you all have tried your best to be there for him, but I think that by always running after him you all are feeding the beast and letting him get his way no different than a toddler who has a tantrum.

If this person has the kinds of mental health issues that you describe, then I bet he will use threats like attempting suicide and self harm to get your attentions. However, know that if "Pete" does anything bad to himself, then it is he who made that choice and that nothing you or your friends have done to make him do that. My guess is that "Pete's" meltdowns are a way to get attention from the group and to stay relevant when he probably is otherwise bland when nothing is going on. I'm guessing he always wants to be at the center of attention.

Basically, the next time "Pete" has a problem, then do not respond as long as none of you folks have done nothing to provoke him. He has to learn that you folks will not bend over backwards for him. He also needs to understand that unless he changes and does something to improve himself, then after high school there is no way you all will give him the time of day especially when all of you take different directions in life. I doubt very much you all will include him past high school if he is not acting in a good way, and he might end up alone.
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Old September 27th, 2018, 05:31 PM   #4
jamie_n5
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Name: Jamie
Join Date: June 27, 2016
Location: Minnesota
Age: 20
Gender: Male
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Default Re: What to do about my friends?

This guy definitely sounds like someone that I wouldn't want in my group of friends for any reason. He sounds like a crazy freak that doesn't respect anyone. Loose him.

I am gay and happy with that.
I love talking to people very open & willing to listen.
I am also glad to try help with questions or problems.
Hit me up for anything. I promise I don't bite.
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